Category: Real Life

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Life’s not Static

Life isn’t static and neither are your life choices

So many struggle with feeling like they’re out of place or that they’re not doing what they are supposed to be doing. This happens to us all at some point. It happens to those that have spent years and years in college or years and years in training to be in a profession that at one point they felt called to be in. And guess what…..it’s totally normal!

Life is in constant motion. Everyday brings about change. So why would we ever think our Life Purpose wouldn’t change? Now it may be that your Life Purpose is similar, maybe you’ve always felt called to “Help others.” And perhaps you began as a therapist, but now you’re feeling called to quit the job force and write self help books. Maybe you were a Doctor in a prestigious hospital but now you feel called to travel to foreign countries and give your services for free. The list is endless. The point is, sometimes we need to say goodbye to callings too.

“Your life purpose doesn’t necessarily stay the same.

There can be goodbyes to callings too.” -Amy Lopez-

Follow your dreams

It’s okay to say goodbye to what you thought would be your life long purpose. It’s okay to start new. And it’s okay if you start new many many times. I think it’s important to listen to your intuition, to meditate on what is calling you and then to pursue your passions with everything you’ve got in you.

After all, life is meant to be lived out loud, to be lived in the present moment. And in the present moment we can’t see into the future. All we can do is what we feel called to do right now, maybe that changes tomorrow and maybe it doesn’t.

If you’d like help with discovering your life purpose in this moment schedule an appointment with me, I’d be glad to discuss with you 🙂

Cause we’re not there yet, but perhaps together we will be, Soon Enuff…..

https://linktr.ee/amylopez

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Are you Settling because you think you don’t deserve more…..

Settling or Accepting

Okay, let’s not get things twisted…..settling is not the same as accepting. When you accept a life situation for what it is, it doesn’t mean you’re being passive, or weak, or giving up and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re settling. Actually, it’s the opposite. You see when you’re aware of something and you acknowledge it and accept it for what it is, only then can you decide if a change needs to be made or not. After all, how can you change something or heal from something that you’re in denial of? Something that you don’t acknowledge can’t be let go of or healed from.

If you’re simply resigning yourself to be miserable or you’re settling on something or someone just to make everyone else happy, or not to, “Rock the boat,” then you are essentially telling yourself, “I am not deserving of anything better.” But here’s the thing, you are deserving, we all are! We all deserve happiness, joy, and to live a fulfilling life.

AAA

Who do you call when you are broken down on the side of the road? Many of us call Triple A. It’s a great service if you’re stranded with no other options. So what do you do in your personal life when you have an internal disturbance? When you feel a resistance to something? When you’re struggling to forgive, either yourself or another. We can use the same concept, AAA for ourselves:

Aware: You become aware of the resistance/disturbance in your life

Acknowledge: You acknowledge the disturbance or resistance in your life

Accept: You accept it for what it is

This is a lifelong practice but I’m living proof that it is truly transformational when you put AAA into practice.

I have a brand new four week course for exactly this practice. It’s called “The Transformational Power of Acceptance.” It’s a 4 part pre recorded video sequence. You’ll receive the videos to watch at your own leisure plus you’ll have them for a lifetime. You’ll also have access to a private Facebook Group that is only for the participants of this course to engage with each other or ask questions of me. You’ll also receive a 30 minute private zoom conference with me as well as a 30 minute group meeting with all the participants in this course. If you’re interested in learning how to let go, how to heal from the past, how to live a more authentic and healthy you inside and out, then join me for this transformational course. The link is below if you’re interested!

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps together, we’ll get there, “Soon Enuff.”

https://view.flodesk.com/emails/6033ebd4b05f940e23925ea2

Live Present,

Amy

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The Power of Acceptance

Explore your Power

As a young woman I often wondered how some did it. How were they just happy most of the time. How did they get over a break up and just move on to the next one with seemingly no emotions? How did they handle the accident that took their loved one and just kept going? How can they be wheel chair bound after being so athletic and still seem so filled with joy? After years of studying this, while I myself struggled with so many life situations, I found the answer is Acceptance.

So I can already hear some of you now….”If I accept a situation then I’m giving up!” Let me start right off with saying that Acceptance of the situation is not the same as giving up. You can accept a situation and still choose to make changes. So throw that notion right out the door 🙂

How can we Harness the Power of Acceptance

So how do we do it? How do we accept things when we simply don’t want to?

Acknowledge, explore, embrace. These three things are key. You see the problem is unless we acknowledge the reality of our life in this moment we can’t accept it, we just keep believing a lie. If we never explore our feelings, and we just push them away every time they come up, then we can never deal with them and leave them in the past. And until we embrace the reality we are in right now, until we fully accept it, we can’t decide what to do about it. You see change comes when you accept things as they are. Once you accept them, you decide what to do with them or about them.

“When was the last time you explored your feelings

instead of pushing them away….” -Amy-

It’s not easy, and it definitely takes some work but the process is truly transformational.

The Transformational Power of Acceptance

I’ve put together a four week course with every day exercises to teach you the Transformational Power of Acceptance.

We’ll learn acceptance in everyday little things: the mundane tasks that you dread, the relationships you’re struggling with, your career, your life path, aging, children. I’ll teach you skills that can apply to every life situation.

I am living proof of the transformation and I can’t wait to work with you through this course! I hope you’ll check it out 🙂

Cause we’re not there, but perhaps together, we’ll get there “Soon Enuff!”

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/602d3a9d54e757e2524dbcdd

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Chaos to Clarity

You never notice it while you’re in the middle of it, but often it is chaos that leads us to clarity.

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where everything was good. Everything was clear, there were were no bad times. Unfortunately that is not the life we live. Life is full of polarities.

I believe that while it is not easy, it is a necessary part of life to learn to navigate the tough times. To learn to keep composure even in the most difficult of circumstances. To find mental clarity even when your mind is bombarded with chaotic thoughts.

To do this you’ll need to learn to stay present. To be aware and mindful of your circumstances. To distinguish what is a life situation and what is life.

If you’d like to learn these concepts sign up for my free 10 day challenge to “Becoming a More Present You in 2021.”

Just click on the link below! Hope you’ll join me on this journey!

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5fd61e12716e9e688e07cb70

Cause I’m not there yet…..but perhaps, Soon Enuff!!

Live Present,

Amy XO

If you’d like more in depth coaching I have a few spots remaining for one on one sessions. There are options for 30 or 60 minutes. You can click the link below to set up a time. Hope to see you soon 🙂

My Linktree:https://linktr.ee/AmyLopez

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Taming the Smug Bug

 Smug High

I was recently confronted with an issue that made me feel so much emotion, from sadness to extreme anger. And it got me wondering why this thing was bothering me so much.  Why was I constantly thinking about it, discussing it with others, over thinking at night, etc.  I know from my studies that typically when something that someone else does is really bothering you it’s because you most likely have some underlying issue that may or may not have to do with the issue at hand. So I dug a little deeper…

I think society, myself included has been on a Smug High. Most of the time, I don’t believe it’s intentional.  I think often we get so excited about something and maybe even experience such great joy from it or even physical or mental transformation that we just want to share it with everyone.  However, when that excitement turns into a feeling of, “I’m better or my way is better or healthier or more spiritual,” it becomes a problem.  That is when we become smug.

Types of Smug

There are so many different types of smugness: Spiritual Smugness, Political Smugness, Dietary Smugness, Aesthetic Smugness, and I’m sure many more that I’m not even thinking about.

The most recent incident that brought this whole idea to me was the tragedy of Kolby Bryant and the horrible helicopter accident that claimed the lives of so many families.  Being a huge basketball fan I’ve followed Kolby as millions of others have throughout his whole career.  He was never my favorite, after all, I loved Michael Jordan, and I mean loved him, and Kolby stating he would be greater than him immediately made me have a love hate relationship for him.  However, he was fun to watch, on the court and off.  Did he have trouble, of course he did.  I think most famous extremely wealthy athletes do. Matter of fact, most all humans do, and I am certainly no exception.

Moments after making a post on Facebook of Kolby and one of my favorite quotes of his, a friend also posted something about his death.  However, his post was very offensive to me, and struck a chord that made me both angry and sad.  His post to me was “Politically Smug.” He stated that he wished the general public cared about our democracy being destroyed, our planet being destroyed, etc. as much as they did about an over paid entertainer dying. That statement was a bit one sided and offensive, however, that’s not what really bothered me.  Further down as people started to comment it got uglier and uglier.  At first I felt bad for my friend.  I knew what he was trying to say, and it wasn’t that I didn’t agree with him, but he had used perhaps the wrong wording. However,  further comments went on to slam Kobe, mentioning a case that was never brought to court, mentioning he was never a team player, etc. I now know longer felt bad for my friend. He got entangled in the comments of others, and not only agreed to them but made some even uglier statements himself, and the uglier it got, I realized I wanted no part of it and unfriended this person.

I was actually outraged that anyone on this planet would be attacking the character of someone that just died tragically along with his daughter and other families.  But the more I talked about it and the angrier I became, I started to wonder why this was bothering me so much.  Although I was friends with this person online, I didn’t know him personally, so why would I even care?  And as I dug deeper I found that I too had recently been “Politically Smug.”

I had become so outraged over the Impeachment Trials, and the whole process, I was so upset about our country, that we had a President that was embarrassing, a womanizer, a big bully, that I had even stated, “I literally cannot be friends with anyone that supports Trump.” Now while I myself truly believe that this man cannot stay in power, and I truly believe he’s a terrible person, I also understand that this is my belief.  I can obviously still be friends with others that don’t share my beliefs.  I’m not sure I would ever be comfortable discussing it with someone that I knew supported Trump, because I do not support him, but I shouldn’t allow myself to be so Politically Smug that I think my opinion is the only one that matters.

Once you find yourself becoming offensive/defensive or pushing your beliefs onto others, or bashing one thing to make your point about another thing, you’ve got the bug.

Smug Bug

I think it’s so easy to get excited about something, for instance, I recently switched from vegetarian to vegan.  I’ve seen such health benefits for myself and my family: cholesterol and blood glucose lowered, more energy, weight loss, etc. that of course I want to shout it from the rooftops.  And I think that is great, and it’s an awesome thing to share our life experiences with others, but once it becomes, “Vegan is the only way,” then you’ve run into the Smug Bug.

There are so many examples of becoming smug that the list could go on and on but I think we’ve got the general idea.

Avoiding the Smug Bug

So how do we avoid it? How do we make sure we don’t become Smug? It’s a very difficult thing.  As humans we all have an ego, and I battle with mine daily. I think the more we “get into” whatever it is we’re into: politics, eating healthy, spirituality, the more we think our belief is right and the harder it is to let anyone else have their own opinion. What we don’t realize is that we are never finished.  We are never finished learning, there’s always something new, we’ve never “Arrived,” and if we can remember that, it is easier to squash our own ego just a bit and let others have the opportunity to have their own beliefs and opinions without taking offense to them and without having to become defensive about our own.

Peace & love to you all today,

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. It’s available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Mental Abuse and Happiness Life.

You may reach me via email [email protected]

Please like and subscribe to this blog to receive updates 🙂

 

 

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Struggles of an Empath

An Empaths struggle is real

On one shoulder sits the empath and on the other the bitch and I’m torn between walking away and trying harder.

As an empath it’s really a struggle to know when I’ve done enough. I give too many chances, love to hard, show too much kindness. Sometimes it literally feels like it’s draining my soul.

Apathy or Empathy

So when is enough enough? When is it time to be a little more apathetic and a little less empathetic? You know I use the term bitch as the opposite of empath but it’s not being a bitch to remove yourself from someone or a situation that is draining you.

empath

Sometimes it’s necessary to your mental health, to your own well being to just get the fuck away from someone that is draining you spiritually and mentally. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

There’s no doubt you’ve given it all you could. You’ve probably loved too hard, shown too much kindness, and given everything you have to give, and you know what, for some that will never be Enuff.  That’s when you know, come on, you’ve probably always known, it’s time to exit their lives and to keep a strong distance. Do it for yourself, cause you should love yourself as much as you keep loving everyone else.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. Available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

I’d appreciate your follow, like and subscribing to my blog for updates and alerts on new posts.

 

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Ponytail & Coffee

Saturday Ponytails

One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday morning is get up, wash my face, throw my hair in a high pony tail (J-Lo Style lol) and make my coffee.

I heard a song lyric that said, “Got the past behind me like my ponytail,” and I absolutely love that.  This is a hard concept for people, like myself, that are fixers.  We want everything to be discussed and worked out.  If there’s a problem we want to solve it and fix it before we move on from it, and when that doesn’t happen it’s hard to let it go.

Ponytail Peace

I have found that I feel most at peace when I live in the present moment.  It’s hard to do, but when I let yesterday go, even if not everything was fixed or healed, I am more at peace.  Ultimately there is nothing we can do about yesterday, it’s gone.  We need to learn to address things as they come up.  If something needs to be fixed or discussed, it needs to be done so at the moment, or as close to the moment as possible, because once the moment has passed, especially an entire day, it does zero good to bring it back up.  So work on staying present and doing what needs to be done to give your life the most peace in each passing moment.

Ponytail Promises

I can’t really promise you anything, but I can tell you staying present, keeping that “past behind you like your ponytail,” can bring peace, at least it has for me.

I hope that at least for today, in this moment, you will enjoy yourself, love yourself, and most importantly, just take care of yourself.  We only live this day once and I hope you make it as beautiful as you can.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Peace & Love, Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

Follow my blog for alerts on new articles.

 

 

 

 

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Be your own Author

You are the only Author

Once you realize you’re the only author of your story, it gives you a sense of power, a purpose and improvement of your mental well being.  Only you decide what happens in your story.  And though you may not be living it at the present moment it’s never to late to start again.

 

Not tomorrow..you’re the Author today

You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to begin the practice of journaling.  It’s the best way to rewrite your story.  You don’t have to have a degree, be the perfect weight, have a new love, a new place to live, etc. You start today, and then I highly recommend daily editing.

I truly believe the art of writing can change your life.  Whether you buy a leather bound beautiful journal, make one stapled together with paper, or just use google docs, get your feelings down on paper.  They don’t have to make sense, you don’t have to be a great writer or poet, just write them down.  It’s a great way to really see what’s going on in your life and where you need to make some changes.

Author of gratitude

One of the best things you can do for your own personal/mental health is to write down things you’re grateful for.  Some days you may find that difficult, you’ve had a really shit day, things have sucked, people have been mean, etc.  But really dig deep here, there’s always something to be grateful for.  Maybe something as small as being grateful you have a warm home, or maybe you’re just grateful that you survived the day, etc.  When you write down things you’re grateful for, it makes your heart a little warmer.  You start to see the world in a new light.  Not everything is doom and gloom.  You really do have something to live for, there is a higher purpose.

I truly hope you start today.  Write your story, rewrite it often, and continue editing.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love, Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You can contact me via email @[email protected]

Follow my blog for alerts on new articles

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The Situation….

What’s your situation….

Recently I have found myself lost in a situation that I can’t quite name because I’m unsure of what the situation actually is.  I think it’s a dilemma that many of us face throughout our lives.  However, this is the first time that it has taken such a toll on me.

See the situation for what it is…

I believe the first step to solving this problem is to see the situation for what it is, I know, I know, this is hard to do when you don’t know what the situation is.  However, if you sit down and write out exactly what’s going on you may find it easier to understand it, possibly even give it a name.

I have found myself in a position where I’m really unsure of my place in my own life. For 31 years my life has been centered around caring for children, running my business, basically taking care of everyone else.  Suddenly and quite frankly without warning, my life has been turned upside down.

My grandfather passing away and grandmother needing help called me out of town to care for both of them for a short time and never did I imagine the impact this would take.  I’ve seen death before, but this time it has really hit me hard.  There is a lot of guilt that I didn’t do enough, a lot of guilt that I couldn’t help my grandmother enough, and upon returning to my regular life I found that it is no longer my regular life. Things changed, maybe I was the cause of those changes, maybe I wasn’t, but whatever the case I found myself in a situation that I couldn’t understand nor give a name to. My place and importance to others feels diminished and I’m left at age 50 wondering what’s next for me, what is my role, what is my position, where do I go from here. A situation that has caused me a lot of pain and probably placed me far too deep in thought.

Now Handle the Situation

So this morning I got up and wrote down exactly what I think is happening and why and whether these things are true for anyone else, they’re certainly true for me.  I have named my situation, “The Highway of Life, and the Dangerous Curves I have to Maneuver.” I call them dangerous curves because it is dangerous to approach these curves without caution.  They have definitely thrown me for a loop and quite frankly I’ve been spiraling out of control. However, now that I’ve slowed down and can approach the curves a little more cautiously I’ve found that I can maneuver them without crashing.  It doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything, it means I’m handling it without slipping off the side of the road and bounding down a hill.

Life is often cruel and unkind, especially to the empaths that feel and think too much.

    situation

I have found that learning new things is very helpful.  Life is constantly changing and if you don’t learn to change with it, you’ll be left behind. So set some new goals, keep them to yourself, and then go out and smash them.  Try some new things, be kind to yourself. Realize life is what you make it, and though it’s painful, sometimes it’s just life and you need to adjust, what other choice do we have?  We’re all growing older, we’re all changing, this is the world we live in.  So name your situation and then change it to your benefit.

Cause I’m definitely not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

My book, Soon Enuff, is on sale on Amazon through Thanksgiving.  If you haven’t picked up your copy yet, now is a great time.

 

 

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Effects of Stress

Letting go of Stress

I think we all know and understand that the research on stress has shown it to be lethal to our health.  Stress causes hormones to be released , namely adrenaline and cortisol.  When you live in a constant state of stress this can be disastrous to your mind and body. But, this is not the only problem….

Effects of not letting the stressor go

Research is now showing that even years later simply re-living the past stress causes the exact same complications to your body as it did the when the stress initially happened! So for people like me, the over thinkers, we’re literally killing ourselves over and over just by re-playing the scene out, even months and years later.  When we don’t learn to let go, it just doesn’t play mind games with our emotions, it literally is killing you.

Your psychology makes your biology…..it’s true my friends!

“You’ll never let go if you keep

allowing your mind to take you back…”

Amy Lopez

This is a tough one for sure, and one that I haven’t mastered, but I continually work on living in the present, it’s the only way to train your mind not to dwell in the past.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

There are 3 days left to purchase my book, Soon Enuff at the Fall Sale Price of $9.99.  It’s available worldwide on Amazon or on my Etsy Shop at https://www.etsy.com/shops/LilBitsofMeandPoetry