A New Angle

Approaching life from a new angle

 

So today I wanted to talk about our angle on life and ways that it hinders/helps us in our every day life.

You can’t keep approaching life from the same angle if you’re looking for a different outcome…” -Amy Lopez-

We’ve all seen photographers that get the most gorgeous captures by simply taking the photo from a different angle.  They seem to know that if they just change the smallest thing, perhaps bending down on one knee, moving behind a tree, getting up on a ledge, etc. makes the difference between a humdrum photo and one that captures the heart and mind of the viewer.  So how can we implement this same strategy into our every day life?

What’s your morning angle….

I’ve found that my thoughts first thing in the morning tend to lay the ground work for the day. If I wake up with an angle (feeling) on life that is tired, uninterested, or depressing, that tends to be my pattern for the entire day.  I think we can compare angle to feelings and not our emotional state.  You see if my emotional state is generally joyful and peaceful but I have occasional feelings of depression, unhappiness, just a general un-interest in life that is okay, it’s normal, everyone has these feelings occasionally, everyone has experienced this angle on life.  But if our emotional state is balanced then we learn to move past those feelings, (change our angle.)

So how do we change our angle….

I wish I could say it’s as easy as the photographer getting down on one knee or moving to a spot with better lighting, but unfortunately it takes a little more work.  To change your angle (feelings) you’ll need to ask yourself a few things:  Why am I feeling this way? What has happened or caused me to have this angle on life today? Examine it, be quiet with your thoughts, then tell yourself what you need to say to change this angle.

   Here’s an example of my own:  I woke up two days ago feeling just distraught.  I had been on such a high for the past week, things had been almost perfect with my relationships, work was going awesome, I was eating great, etc.  But this morning I just couldn’t shake it, I felt like a black cloud was over me.  I barely spoke to anyone, except for simple yes, no, maybe answers.  I didn’t read, I didn’t do yoga, I basically scrolled through social media for hours, mindless.  I tried to play it off and smile throughout the whole day, but several people noticed and questioned what was wrong.  By noon, I had had enough of myself.  I sat in a quiet place on my back porch and said, “Amy, what is it?  Why has your angle on life changed so drastically today?”  When I pondered this question I realized, number one, It was actually the time in my cycle where my emotions always run high.  So I forgave myself for not remembering that, and just moving past it.  Number two, I realized that a conversation the previous day with a lawyer about a business venture had gone very badly for me.  Instead of accepting it, I had let it change my feelings on life, I let it move me to a new angle that was too dark, the picture was not going to turn out.  You’d be surprised on how just realizing what is causing you to feel a certain way can open you up to how you can change your angle.  I decided that my life was still the same beautiful life I had the day before, that I had simply let one little thing ruin my morning.  I accepted that there was nothing I could do to change the way things turned out with the lawyer, I let my ego go on that one, haha.  And I sat and told myself how many things I was blessed with (changed my angle.)  

I think when you come to the realization that your angle (feelings) are fleeting and you can change them so easily, it makes life much more pleasant.  Keep your emotional state separate from your feelings, they aren’t the same thing.  As long as I am seeking a joyful peaceful, kind life, than an occasional feeling of anything other than that is simply that, an occasional feeling.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps…..Soon Enuff

Love & Peace

Amy

Find me on social media:  Facebook @lilbitsofme22 and also @coffeepoetryandalilbitofme

Twitter:  @amylo_5

Instagram: @lilbitsofme22 and amylo_05 and @coffee_poetry_lilbitofme

 

 

 

 

Pursuing Happiness

My pursuit of Happiness

I’ve been reading self help books lately, most with the word “Happiness” in their title.  I’ve had this nagging unhappiness most of my life.  Even when I was happy, I’ve never felt a genuine sense of well being.  So I set out on this journey about a year ago to pursue happiness, and wow, my journey has taken me through more dark valleys than I ever imagined.  I thought surely by seeking new ways to be happy I would be happy.  What I found however was a plethora of advice that just didn’t add up for me.

Professors of Happiness

There are so many happiness guru’s out there today, and while I’m thankful for them sharing their experiences of how they found happiness, I discovered it’s a very personal journey.  There is no one program, no one self help book, no one counselor that can give you all the answers.  Somewhere amongst all of these, you’ll have to figure out your own way and what works for you.  So I”m not here to tell you the “right way” or the “only way” or the “perfect way” I”m just here to tell you what’s helping me to find more happiness in my everyday life in hopes that you may take a few ideas from me, add them in with your own ideas and it will equal out to be a better life for you.

My Ideas + Your Ideas = Happiness for you

What causes Unhappiness

One thing I needed to discover before I could find happiness was what exactly was causing my unhappiness.  It seemed that there were very few times even when I felt very happy that I was genuinely happy.  While I discovered many reasons that I won’t go into now, one of the things I found was that I had an overwhelming sense of never being quite good enough. There are many reasons why I’ve always had this nagging feeling, but I’m focusing on the present and in the present my feeling of not feeling good enough was caused solely from myself.  I would see my adult children struggling and think, “I must have done something wrong raising them.”  I went an entire year without speaking to one of my sisters and felt an enormous guilt about not being a good enough sibling.  My business would go through a hard month and I’d blame myself for not being a good enough owner/coach/manager.  I would gain a few pounds and feel not good enough to take pictures with my kids or just of myself.  I think this feeling of never being quite good enough, no matter how good I really was, took away my happiness. In a book I read by Chris Prentiss titled “Zen and the Art of Happiness” he explained that what causes stress, anxiety and often depression are our thoughts.  These emotions are caused because we think that an event in the future isn’t going to turn out well.  Someone’s going to hurt us, we’re going to fail, we’re going to be embarrassed or ashamed or even hurt someone else. This worrying about the future takes away our happiness, causes sleepless nights, causes illness, causes us to live empty lives. I learned that my worries of not being good enough were senseless worries. I am good enough, I am good enough because I do my best, and that’s all I can do, the rest I have to let go, because I choose to live in this moment. I can’t go back and change the way I raised my children, I can’t take away the year I didn’t speak to my sister, I can’t totally control the fact that people enroll and un-enroll in my business, it’s just life.  I can only control my thoughts right now at this moment. You see a pattern here? My feelings of unworthiness all stemmed from thinking about the past…

So….have I found Happiness

While I haven’t perfected the art of happiness, and I’m not sure I ever will, I can tell you that my life is changing for the better.  At this time last month, probably even last week, I wouldn’t have written this blog because I’d worry that it wouldn’t be good enough, that someone would criticize me, that it wouldn’t make sense, etc. etc. This morning when I woke up, I had this on my mind.  My intuition was telling me to share my experience with this subject and that is how I’m choosing to live, in the present moment.  When I start to feel anxious I immediately realize it’s because I’m thinking about something later today or tomorrow or next week or next year, and I turn my thoughts instead to what needs to be done right now.  I truly believe if that is our focus then we don’t need to worry about the future because we’re preparing for the best future in this moment.

Find your Happy

The best advice I can give you to get you on the right path to finding happiness is to take some time to figure out why you’re unhappy. I don’t want you to dwell on it too long, because if you start going back to your childhood and things that happened years and years ago you can wind up stuck in a muck that’s hard to dig out of.  But instead, ask yourself, “Why am I unhappy today, why am I stressed, anxious, not feeling good enough, today?” Then go from there.  I think you’ll find that your thoughts are not on the present, but they’re on the past or the future.  Try today in just the little things to acknowledge what makes you smile, what warms your heart and what makes you happy. I woke up this morning alone, the sun was shining, I got to have my coffee in silence, I got to spend two hours writing with no one asking me for anything, it made me happy. After I finish this blog I have to get to work on some accounting for my business, but I chose to not think or stress about that while I was writing this, because I knew it would cause me anxiety.  Practice staying present today, then practice it again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes a habit.  There are going to be times of stress and anxiety and unhappiness, it’s inevitable, but when those moments come, handle them for what they are: The way you react to the stressors, the anxiety, the feelings of unhappiness or unworthiness make all the difference.  When I have those feelings of not being good enough, and I do still have them, I just pause for a moment, remind myself that I’m good enough right now, I’m the doing the best I can right now, and that’s got to be good enough, cause it’s all I’ve got, that’s all we’ve all got, Right Now….

Peace & love & happiness to you

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff……

Amy

A little poem I wrote about getting thru nights of anxiety and over thinking.  I’m getting better and better at this and I hope you will as well.

sun 2

The Moon and Me…

Tonights Super Snow Moon will be the biggest and brightest of 2019! With it there seems to come a lot of energy.  I’ve heard from several friends they’ve had a hard time sleeping, their brains won’t shut down or they’re feeling anxious.  I believe this is all coming from the Full Snow Moon tonight.  My best advice is to use that energy to your advantage.  Perhaps get started on a project you’ve been putting off, maybe work on solving a problem that’s been plaguing you for some time. While it’s true, the atmosphere is very emotionally charged today/tonight it doesn’t mean you’re going crazy, it means you need to channel the energy you’re feeling into something healthy.

You know I have this thing about the moon….I believe it’s at our darkest time when we are shown the most light.  You see, the sun, it sees us when we tend to be at our brightest and best, our best face on, out to conquer the world.  But the moon, it hears our deepest thoughts, the ones we don’t share with anyone, maybe the ones we’re ashamed we’re thinking.  The moon doesn’t judge, the moon loves me even at my worst.

     The Moon & Me

     The sun sees me

when I’m at my best,

but the moon, the moon

knows all my secrets and

loves me nonetheless….

Written By:  Amy Lopez

 

Be mindful today of all the swirling energy around you.  Be present in your day and love your life enough to be aware of what’s happening around you.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love, Amy