Ponytail & Coffee

Saturday Ponytails

One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday morning is get up, wash my face, throw my hair in a high pony tail (J-Lo Style lol) and make my coffee.

I heard a song lyric that said, “Got the past behind me like my ponytail,” and I absolutely love that.  This is a hard concept for people, like myself, that are fixers.  We want everything to be discussed and worked out.  If there’s a problem we want to solve it and fix it before we move on from it, and when that doesn’t happen it’s hard to let it go.

Ponytail Peace

I have found that I feel most at peace when I live in the present moment.  It’s hard to do, but when I let yesterday go, even if not everything was fixed or healed, I am more at peace.  Ultimately there is nothing we can do about yesterday, it’s gone.  We need to learn to address things as they come up.  If something needs to be fixed or discussed, it needs to be done so at the moment, or as close to the moment as possible, because once the moment has passed, especially an entire day, it does zero good to bring it back up.  So work on staying present and doing what needs to be done to give your life the most peace in each passing moment.

Ponytail Promises

I can’t really promise you anything, but I can tell you staying present, keeping that “past behind you like your ponytail,” can bring peace, at least it has for me.

I hope that at least for today, in this moment, you will enjoy yourself, love yourself, and most importantly, just take care of yourself.  We only live this day once and I hope you make it as beautiful as you can.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Peace & Love, Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

Follow my blog for alerts on new articles.

 

 

 

 

Be your own Author

You are the only Author

Once you realize you’re the only author of your story, it gives you a sense of power, a purpose and improvement of your mental well being.  Only you decide what happens in your story.  And though you may not be living it at the present moment it’s never to late to start again.

 

Not tomorrow..you’re the Author today

You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to begin the practice of journaling.  It’s the best way to rewrite your story.  You don’t have to have a degree, be the perfect weight, have a new love, a new place to live, etc. You start today, and then I highly recommend daily editing.

I truly believe the art of writing can change your life.  Whether you buy a leather bound beautiful journal, make one stapled together with paper, or just use google docs, get your feelings down on paper.  They don’t have to make sense, you don’t have to be a great writer or poet, just write them down.  It’s a great way to really see what’s going on in your life and where you need to make some changes.

Author of gratitude

One of the best things you can do for your own personal/mental health is to write down things you’re grateful for.  Some days you may find that difficult, you’ve had a really shit day, things have sucked, people have been mean, etc.  But really dig deep here, there’s always something to be grateful for.  Maybe something as small as being grateful you have a warm home, or maybe you’re just grateful that you survived the day, etc.  When you write down things you’re grateful for, it makes your heart a little warmer.  You start to see the world in a new light.  Not everything is doom and gloom.  You really do have something to live for, there is a higher purpose.

I truly hope you start today.  Write your story, rewrite it often, and continue editing.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love, Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You can contact me via email @[email protected]

Follow my blog for alerts on new articles

The Situation….

What’s your situation….

Recently I have found myself lost in a situation that I can’t quite name because I’m unsure of what the situation actually is.  I think it’s a dilemma that many of us face throughout our lives.  However, this is the first time that it has taken such a toll on me.

See the situation for what it is…

I believe the first step to solving this problem is to see the situation for what it is, I know, I know, this is hard to do when you don’t know what the situation is.  However, if you sit down and write out exactly what’s going on you may find it easier to understand it, possibly even give it a name.

I have found myself in a position where I’m really unsure of my place in my own life. For 31 years my life has been centered around caring for children, running my business, basically taking care of everyone else.  Suddenly and quite frankly without warning, my life has been turned upside down.

My grandfather passing away and grandmother needing help called me out of town to care for both of them for a short time and never did I imagine the impact this would take.  I’ve seen death before, but this time it has really hit me hard.  There is a lot of guilt that I didn’t do enough, a lot of guilt that I couldn’t help my grandmother enough, and upon returning to my regular life I found that it is no longer my regular life. Things changed, maybe I was the cause of those changes, maybe I wasn’t, but whatever the case I found myself in a situation that I couldn’t understand nor give a name to. My place and importance to others feels diminished and I’m left at age 50 wondering what’s next for me, what is my role, what is my position, where do I go from here. A situation that has caused me a lot of pain and probably placed me far too deep in thought.

Now Handle the Situation

So this morning I got up and wrote down exactly what I think is happening and why and whether these things are true for anyone else, they’re certainly true for me.  I have named my situation, “The Highway of Life, and the Dangerous Curves I have to Maneuver.” I call them dangerous curves because it is dangerous to approach these curves without caution.  They have definitely thrown me for a loop and quite frankly I’ve been spiraling out of control. However, now that I’ve slowed down and can approach the curves a little more cautiously I’ve found that I can maneuver them without crashing.  It doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything, it means I’m handling it without slipping off the side of the road and bounding down a hill.

Life is often cruel and unkind, especially to the empaths that feel and think too much.

    situation

I have found that learning new things is very helpful.  Life is constantly changing and if you don’t learn to change with it, you’ll be left behind. So set some new goals, keep them to yourself, and then go out and smash them.  Try some new things, be kind to yourself. Realize life is what you make it, and though it’s painful, sometimes it’s just life and you need to adjust, what other choice do we have?  We’re all growing older, we’re all changing, this is the world we live in.  So name your situation and then change it to your benefit.

Cause I’m definitely not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

My book, Soon Enuff, is on sale on Amazon through Thanksgiving.  If you haven’t picked up your copy yet, now is a great time.

 

 

Effects of Stress

Letting go of Stress

I think we all know and understand that the research on stress has shown it to be lethal to our health.  Stress causes hormones to be released , namely adrenaline and cortisol.  When you live in a constant state of stress this can be disastrous to your mind and body. But, this is not the only problem….

Effects of not letting the stressor go

Research is now showing that even years later simply re-living the past stress causes the exact same complications to your body as it did the when the stress initially happened! So for people like me, the over thinkers, we’re literally killing ourselves over and over just by re-playing the scene out, even months and years later.  When we don’t learn to let go, it just doesn’t play mind games with our emotions, it literally is killing you.

Your psychology makes your biology…..it’s true my friends!

You’ll never let go if you keep

allowing your mind to take you back…”

Amy Lopez

This is a tough one for sure, and one that I haven’t mastered, but I continually work on living in the present, it’s the only way to train your mind not to dwell in the past.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

There are 3 days left to purchase my book, Soon Enuff at the Fall Sale Price of $9.99.  It’s available worldwide on Amazon or on my Etsy Shop at https://www.etsy.com/shops/LilBitsofMeandPoetry

 

Adaptability

The Importance of Adaptability

Adaptability can best be described as remaining open to change, able to accept the unknown, freedom from learned responses.

Did you know meeting change with resilience instead of bitterness can actually extend your life?  The world is harsh, however, if you can learn to bend a little instead of being stiff and breaking, if you can learn to enjoy and be happy with whatever comes, it changes your whole biology.  Because you see our psychology actually dictates our biology.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I respond creatively to change?

Am I free from anxiety?

Do I continually create?

Do I continue to learn new things?

Responding creatively to change is when something out of the ordinary comes up, you can look at it and think of positive ways to make it work out.  You don’t freak out and panic, but you embrace it with the attitude of, “Great, something new, how can we make this work to our advantage.”

Free from anxiety.  Anxiety is a psychological response that causes your biology to change.  When you send your body into panic mode all kinds of things start happening.  Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure goes up, causing stress on the heart often leading to coronary events if not treated.  Anxiety can suppress your immune system, cause all kinds of digestive disorders, it can also lead to depression and dementia. All things which make us age.

Continuing to create.  What is it you love?  Are you a writer, if so continue to write.  Artist, fishing, hiking, climbing, you get it.  Stop listening to the learned responses such as, “I’m getting older, I probably shouldn’t hike that far,” or “Climbing is too dangerous for a person my age,” or “No one wants to read something an older person is writing,” or “I can’t bounce back like I used to,” and instead you just keep living, guess what, you keep living.

Have you ever seen 80 year olds still out hiking?  I have! A couple summers ago we were hiking a 2,000 foot incline in only 2 miles at Crater Lake.  It was very difficult for me despite the fact I’d been hiking for several years.  Much to my surprise a very elderly couple blew past me.  When I got to the top they smiled and we started a conversation.  I asked how old they were, the wife was 79 and the husband 83!  Do you think they listened to the voices saying, “You probably should stop doing that you’re too old?”  Absolutely not!  They had been avid explorers their whole lives and just never thought to slow down, and guess what, their bodies never gave them a reason to, because their psychology controlled their biology.

Continuing to learn new things can be easy as reading new books, taking a different route, playing games, traveling to new places, learning about the weather where your kids live.  The idea here is you never stop using your brain.  You don’t sit sedentary in front of your TV mindlessly watching the same things day in and day out.  By learning new things you allow the brain to compensate for natural tissue loss.  Learning new things stimulates the neurons in the brain which form new neuron pathways and allows electrical impulses to travel faster.

Can you learn to Adapt

“Perhaps you need to learn to let go of the notion

that things could have been different..

they weren’t.”

–Amy Lopez–

I, like many others have suffered with anxiety.  I used to really panic when my plan didn’t work out.  When faced with the prospect of a new change, I would typically revert back to the comfort of just staying complacent.  Change is scary, especially when it’s not expected.  The loss of a job, a spouse leaving, a loved one dying, a flood, a hurricane, tornado, etc.  These things all happen.  But how can we learn to adapt instead of stress?

A little stress is obviously natural in any of the above circumstances.  It’s when the stress doesn’t go away that we’re in trouble.

Things I’ve found that have relieved my anxiety and allowed me to live a happier healthier life are:  meditation, exercise, a healthy diet, sleep, and therapy.

When you take a little time to sit quietly with yourself you can go over things that are happening and how you’ll handle them, before they happen.  You know you’re about to face an ugly day at the lawyers office, or you have to clean up after a natural disaster, etc.  When you breath deeply especially sighing out the negativity you’ll find it’s much easier to face.  You know you have to face it, why not face it the best way possible.  Go in with a smile, let’s get this done, how can we make something positive out of it.

Daily exercise has been proven to relieve stress, it relieves tension, improves sleep and elevates your mood and self esteem.  Combine this with eating a healthy diet, stay away from unnatural foods, and you’ll improve not only your physical body but your mental one as well.

I’m one of those people that struggles to get 8-9 hours of sleep.  However, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic with around 7.  I do rest during the day, usually napping for about 20-30 minutes.  I have found that when I eat lighter at night, usually I don’t eat past 4:00 unless it’s a handful of nuts or a little fruit, I sleep much better.  If you struggle with sleep, try black out curtains, ear plugs, or an app that plays sleepy time noise such as the ocean waves or water trickling.  Getting adequate sleep re-charges your brain, improving your focus, concentration and mood.  Getting adequate sleep alone can reduce stress and anxiety.  If you still struggle, seek help from a therapist.

I’m a Certified Life Coach and as a Life Coach I can tell you that talking to someone about your stress and anxiety can literally save your life.  I have a great Coach that has helped me figure out ways to change my life to make it less stressful, and also just laughed with me through some very tough situations.  If you need someone to talk to seek out a therapist or life coach or even just a sister, brother, friend that will understand and hold your confidence.

You know aging is a natural process, but it literally takes the organs around 103 years to start breaking down naturally.  That means that everything else isn’t natural.  Try to remember that the oldest and healthiest living people say these three words a lot: Happy, Satisfied and Enjoyable.  Because our psychology dictates our biology.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

You can find me on FB @lilbitsofme22  IG @lilbitsofme22 Twitter @amylo_5

You can also reach me by email if you’d like to discuss any of the topics from this blog

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Reinvent Yourself

What does reinvent mean

Whether you’re in your late 20’s or 70’s, it’s never too late to be what you really want to be, to do what you’ve always wanted to do.  To reinvent yourself is to really get in touch with what you’re longing for; A new profession, to become a parent, to buy a house, to move to a different country, to quit your current job to teach yoga, to be a traveling you tube hiker. Whatever your dreams are, if you want to reinvent yourself, Monday is the perfect day to start.

Steps to reinvention

First of all let’s clear out all the emotional clutter.  Anytime someone wants to make a change you should expect to be met with conflict, either from yourself or from outside sources.  You need to sit quietly with yourself, usually over a nice hot cup of coffee or tea and clear out your mind.  Focus on the good, the good you’re already accomplishing and the even better things the new, reinvented you can do.  When your mind starts to play games with you or outside sources start to make you feel doubt, meet it head on.  Remind yourself who you are, how strong you are, remind yourself of what you really want.  It’s okay to have doubts, but don’t let them stop you, you’ll need to be strong mentally to get through reinvention.

Secondly, start changing up your routine.  Whatever it is you’re wanting to reinvent yourself into, better eating, more working out, more writing, waking up earlier to look through the houses for sale, property in another country, etc.  Researching is going to be your number one go to.  Don’t just assume that you know it all.  If you want to move to another country because you think it’s peaceful and beautiful, do your research and then research some more.  Talk to people that have lived there, make plans to go and visit, possibly for a little longer then a regular vacation.  If you’re wanting to be in better shape and think you know the perfect diet or workout plan because it worked for so and so, do your research, know you’re body type, know what foods do and don’t agree with you.  Look into many different options, as there is no “one thing fits all.”

Thirdly, set some goals. I’m talking about learning or process goals, not performance, outcome goals.  For instance : In two weeks I’m going to learn about the seasons in Costa Rica.  In one month I’m going to learn about the process my body needs to go through to lose ten pounds.  In one week I’m going to really see if I can live on half my income, if I can lessen my grocery bill by 50% and in one month I’m going to look over the process of reducing my debt to see if it’s a possibility to quit my current high paying job for the new job, which is more outdoors, less time in the office, but half the pay job.

Last, and I think this may be the most important one, start imagining yourself as your new reinvented self.  What things you’ll experience, how you’ll look, how you’ll feel.  Start to visualize yourself with that new baby, new house, new job, quitting your job, no job, new body image from the working out and eating well.  I think you’ll find, this alone, will keep you motivated towards your end game.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

Find me on Facebook @lilbitsofme22 or Instagram @lilbitsofme22 or Pinterest @lilbitsofme22 or @coffee_poetry_lilbitofme

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Editing Day

Sunday is editing day

On Sunday mornings I like to sit in silence with my coffee and think back on my week.  Not to punish myself but to see what changes I want to make to make the new week better.

It’s always better to edit

The same way you wouldn’t leave a manuscript unedited, it just makes sense to make the necessary edits to your life.  You see, Sunday is like an opportunity to choose to evolve or repeat.  Again, this isn’t to look back and punish yourself, but just like editing your writing, you look over it again to make sure you’re getting things right.

To edit is to evolve

Honestly, I think a little of both, evolving and repeating is okay.  You want to evolve past the mistakes, change what you can, and repeat the good things that made your soul happy.

Wishing you a beautiful Sunday and a happy and healthy new week ahead.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

You can find my new book, Soon Enuff, worldwide on Amazon or the link in my Facebook bio @lilbitsofme22 or on Instagran @lilbitsofme22

 

Life Changes

How to make a change

Wondering how to begin changing your life for the better? Less stress, less worry, more peace in your heart and soul.  It all starts with your morning….

Be mindful of how you spend your mornings. 

What you read or write, who you spend it with, 

this all produces energy, and only you

choose what type of energy you send out…

–Amy Lopez–

 

The necessary changes

How I spend my mornings, my space, whether inside or out, is of course going to be different then yours.  The point is though, when you wake up in the morning, it’s the most important time of the day to frame your mind with positive and energetic thoughts.

I like to wake up early because I really treasure spending my mornings alone.  I either make my coffee and sit outside on my porch or I sit inside in my comfy recliner.  I usually sit in thought (meditation) for a few moments, just clearing my mind, thinking of nothing at all.  When thoughts creep in of my busy day ahead, I try to push them away telling myself, “Plenty of time for that later.”  Then I usually do some writing, well, a lot of writing.  Then I put my pen down and pick up a book.

What I read in the morning is different then what I read later in the day.  My morning books are usually “self help” or books on Yoga.  Currently I’m reading, “Ageless Body Timeless Mind,” by Deepok Chopra and “Light on Yoga,” by B.K.S. Iyengar.  I believe what I fill my mind with early in the morning should be positivity.  Things to help de-stress and de-clutter.  Things that help me deal with anxiety, etc.

When I say I get up early, I mean early….I’m usually up a little before the sunrise.  I know this isn’t ideal for everyone, and of course I’m not promoting not getting enough sleep because I know how very important that is.  But for me personally, I need about two hours of morning alone time. I find that when I don’t get that, I tend to get more anxious and stressed, even when it isn’t really warranted, it’s just me.

Does the morning routine really make a change

I’ve had this morning routine for about two years and I can’t tell you the impact it’s had on my life.

Before, when I got up, rushed to make my coffee, immediately started my workout or started working, I was very “wound up.” By that I mean, tense, stressed and anxious.  I have suffered with anxiety attacks for about ten years, and I’ve found that rushing my morning only adds to the anxiety.

Since I’ve started being very mindful, and I suppose some would say, “selfish” morning routine I’ve been a much calmer person.  I don’t have near as many anxiety attacks because in my morning routine I practice breathing exercises to help me deal with stress, so that when it starts coming on, I’m prepared to deal with it instead of panicking.

I’m a much happier and easy going person.  I find that spending time alone in the morning has helped me realize what’s most important in life, the things I need to concentrate on and the things I need to let go of.  The things I can change and control, and the things I have no control of.  It’s helped me be more aware of how I speak to others, because I’ve learned to sit with myself in silence and speak kindly to myself.

If you don’t spend any quiet and alone time, how can you ever answer so many of life’s toughest questions?  If you’re in a constant rush to do something or be somewhere, is it any wonder that your health is declining? That your aging beyond your years?

Take it slower, even if you only have a few minutes.  Wake up a little earlier, even if it’s only fifteen minutes.  Stop rushing your morning.  See how you feel and let me know how it’s going in comment 🙂

Cause I’m not there yet but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

My book, “Soon Enuff” is now available worldwide on Amazon or the link on my IG @lilbitsofme22 or on FB @lilbitsofme22

The Moon & Me

Full Moon impact on Me

About a week ago I began feeling very distant from everyone, like perhaps I was invisible, and at times, I wish I actually was.  My thoughts become a bit erratic, and I wasn’t making much sense to anyone, except myself.  And I thought to myself, “Okay, what’s going on with you Amy?”

After checking my horoscope I realized how quickly the full moon/strawberry moon was approaching, and I knew full well what was up with me.  I think once you know what’s possibly causing your emotions to fluctuate it’s much easier to control them, or at least to try to calm them down a bit.

Full Moon Poetry

I know I’m often distant

and my thoughts are rarely clear

and like the moon you can’t always see me

but I promise you I’m here….

–Amy–

 

Wishing you a beautiful week!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Love & Peace, Amy

A New Angle

Approaching life from a new angle

 

So today I wanted to talk about our angle on life and ways that it hinders/helps us in our every day life.

You can’t keep approaching life from the same angle if you’re looking for a different outcome…” -Amy Lopez-

We’ve all seen photographers that get the most gorgeous captures by simply taking the photo from a different angle.  They seem to know that if they just change the smallest thing, perhaps bending down on one knee, moving behind a tree, getting up on a ledge, etc. makes the difference between a humdrum photo and one that captures the heart and mind of the viewer.  So how can we implement this same strategy into our every day life?

What’s your morning angle….

I’ve found that my thoughts first thing in the morning tend to lay the ground work for the day. If I wake up with an angle (feeling) on life that is tired, uninterested, or depressing, that tends to be my pattern for the entire day.  I think we can compare angle to feelings and not our emotional state.  You see if my emotional state is generally joyful and peaceful but I have occasional feelings of depression, unhappiness, just a general un-interest in life that is okay, it’s normal, everyone has these feelings occasionally, everyone has experienced this angle on life.  But if our emotional state is balanced then we learn to move past those feelings, (change our angle.)

So how do we change our angle….

I wish I could say it’s as easy as the photographer getting down on one knee or moving to a spot with better lighting, but unfortunately it takes a little more work.  To change your angle (feelings) you’ll need to ask yourself a few things:  Why am I feeling this way? What has happened or caused me to have this angle on life today? Examine it, be quiet with your thoughts, then tell yourself what you need to say to change this angle.

   Here’s an example of my own:  I woke up two days ago feeling just distraught.  I had been on such a high for the past week, things had been almost perfect with my relationships, work was going awesome, I was eating great, etc.  But this morning I just couldn’t shake it, I felt like a black cloud was over me.  I barely spoke to anyone, except for simple yes, no, maybe answers.  I didn’t read, I didn’t do yoga, I basically scrolled through social media for hours, mindless.  I tried to play it off and smile throughout the whole day, but several people noticed and questioned what was wrong.  By noon, I had had enough of myself.  I sat in a quiet place on my back porch and said, “Amy, what is it?  Why has your angle on life changed so drastically today?”  When I pondered this question I realized, number one, It was actually the time in my cycle where my emotions always run high.  So I forgave myself for not remembering that, and just moving past it.  Number two, I realized that a conversation the previous day with a lawyer about a business venture had gone very badly for me.  Instead of accepting it, I had let it change my feelings on life, I let it move me to a new angle that was too dark, the picture was not going to turn out.  You’d be surprised on how just realizing what is causing you to feel a certain way can open you up to how you can change your angle.  I decided that my life was still the same beautiful life I had the day before, that I had simply let one little thing ruin my morning.  I accepted that there was nothing I could do to change the way things turned out with the lawyer, I let my ego go on that one, haha.  And I sat and told myself how many things I was blessed with (changed my angle.)  

I think when you come to the realization that your angle (feelings) are fleeting and you can change them so easily, it makes life much more pleasant.  Keep your emotional state separate from your feelings, they aren’t the same thing.  As long as I am seeking a joyful peaceful, kind life, than an occasional feeling of anything other than that is simply that, an occasional feeling.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps…..Soon Enuff

Love & Peace

Amy

Find me on social media:  Facebook @lilbitsofme22 and also @coffeepoetryandalilbitofme

Twitter:  @amylo_5

Instagram: @lilbitsofme22 and amylo_05 and @coffee_poetry_lilbitofme