Tag: mindfulness

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She’s no magician….

None of us are magicians….

My very dear friend, Alfa Holden, wrote this:  “The problem with love is, you can love who you want…but so can they.”

You know you can knock yourself out being the most beautiful, funny, caring, and loving person on the planet, and you still may not be the one for the person you love.  I think it’s so important to grasp this concept early so that we realize there is nothing wrong with us, it’s just how life is.  How many times did a boy/girl have a crush on you or actually fall in love with you and yet you had no feelings whatsoever for them? It happens.  But when it happens to us we tend to take it a lot more personally.

Magic Potion

When we fall in love with someone we go all in and it hurts like hell when it’s not reciprocated.  But there’s no magic potion here.  You can’t drop something in their water that makes them magically fall in love with you no matter how hard you try or how much you want it.  In fact, often times, the harder you try to force something, the worse the whole situation becomes.  I don’t think the other person even means to hurt us, perhaps they really want to love us back, but just as you cannot help your feelings, neither can they.  It may not be that they’re in love with someone else, it’s just simply that they don’t share the same feelings you do, they aren’t in love with you.

So what’s the magic trick

So how do you get through this type of heartache?  I truly believe that if you love yourself, if you know your worth, if you know you’re a beautiful soul, then you can get through it.  You can slowly start to understand that it’s not you, you’re an amazing person, you just aren’t the one for them, and you have to let that heal you.  The magic trick is really believing in yourself while letting the person go.  It doesn’t mean your love ends, it just means you are moving on.  Don’t stay in a relationship that you have to force, it will only hurt you and it will hurt the very one you say you love.  You must believe with all your beautiful soul that love will one day be returned and the relationship will indeed be magical.

A little poem I wrote: “I hoped that somehow out of all the brokenness something good could come.  That perhaps the heartache we caused could be undone.  But you can’t keep pretending to look forward to something you dread, you’re no magician, you can’t bring life back to love that’s already dead.” @AmyLopez @LilBitsofMe22

magician

 

Magic Book

I truly wish I could write a book titled,  “Magic Tricks for Love.” In fact, I’m fairly certain that if you searched social media or google long enough, you’d most likely stumble upon that very book written by someone trying to take advantage of heart broken souls. However, it would be a big book of magical lies because there is no magic book and there are no magic tricks. Remember, believing in yourself, that’s all the magic you need!

Peace, love & happiness I wish for you!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

You can follow my very dear friend, who is a wonderful writer and author of three Best Selling books, @alfapoet.com and on social media: FB: @AlfaHolden  IG: @alfa.poet Twitter: @alfa_poet

 

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The Moon and Me…

Tonights Super Snow Moon will be the biggest and brightest of 2019! With it there seems to come a lot of energy.  I’ve heard from several friends they’ve had a hard time sleeping, their brains won’t shut down or they’re feeling anxious.  I believe this is all coming from the Full Snow Moon tonight.  My best advice is to use that energy to your advantage.  Perhaps get started on a project you’ve been putting off, maybe work on solving a problem that’s been plaguing you for some time. While it’s true, the atmosphere is very emotionally charged today/tonight it doesn’t mean you’re going crazy, it means you need to channel the energy you’re feeling into something healthy.

You know I have this thing about the moon….I believe it’s at our darkest time when we are shown the most light.  You see, the sun, it sees us when we tend to be at our brightest and best, our best face on, out to conquer the world.  But the moon, it hears our deepest thoughts, the ones we don’t share with anyone, maybe the ones we’re ashamed we’re thinking.  The moon doesn’t judge, the moon loves me even at my worst.

     The Moon & Me

     The sun sees me

when I’m at my best,

but the moon, the moon

knows all my secrets and

loves me nonetheless….

Written By:  Amy Lopez

 

Be mindful today of all the swirling energy around you.  Be present in your day and love your life enough to be aware of what’s happening around you.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love, Amy

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Kindness…

Kindness isn’t just something you show to someone because they deserve it.  Mercy, compassion, forgiveness, these are all things we show to others because we find those traits in our own hearts.  You can’t show or receive kindness, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, unless you have them inside you to give.

I’ve come to a point in life where I no longer feel rejected or upset when I show kindness to someone and they don’t reciprocate.  I know beyond a doubt, there is someone behind that unkindness.  Something has happened to that person that makes them unkind, something perhaps, beyond my comprehension.  I think that this type of knowledge, this understanding that there’s always more to a person than what they portray on the outside helps me be more kind, compassionate, merciful, forgiving.

There was a time I stayed in my own little shell because I’ve always been a little too kind perhaps, and I used to get my heart broken by unkind people.  But as I’ve grown in my writing, photography, studying of people, nature, etc. I’ve come to realize there’s so much more.  If I don’t follow my inner self that is kind, if I keep all that bottled up because I’m scared to show it, then I die slowly inside.  I become cold, unkind, unloving, unmerciful, someone I never want to be.

So on this “National Kindness Day,” give it a shot.  Show kindness, not just to someone you know is kind themselves, but to someone who doesn’t deserve it.  Someone who’s hurt you or been unkind to you.  Maybe a store clerk who always has a frown on their face, maybe one of your customers that always complains. I’m not saying to let people walk on you, I’m just saying perhaps if you listen to your intuition, you’ll know.  You’ll just know who needs it, and you’ll just always exude this attitude of kindness, it draws people to you, people want to be around kindness.  Be the light in a dark room.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

 

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Self Worth

Many times when we experience heart ache or loss we tell ourselves we aren’t worthy of happiness, of love, of joy.

We think that just because we love someone with all our heart they should automatically love us back and unfortunately that’s just not how life is.  Everyone has a right to their own feelings, choices of who they love and no one can dictate or make someone feel something they don’t.

We often tell ourselves in this situation that it’s okay, “we can love enough for the both of us.” Reality is, that can never work.  If someone doesn’t love you do you really want them in your life?  Do you really want to cling to something that you already know is never going to happen?

I say no, we need to accept what is and let go of what we hoped it would be.  It’s the only way to truly be happy…

“Just because he didn’t love you doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving…” –Amy–

Realize that you are worthy of love that you are worthy of happiness and joy.  Just because one person doesn’t return your feelings, doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving. It’s just that maybe that person was never meant for you…move on, love will find you one day but in the meantime love yourself…

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love always,

Amy

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Karma…

 

So many people talk/write about Karma…what comes around goes around.  But the truth is, if you’ve wronged someone, or yourself, and you forgive yourself, you don’t need to be worried with Karma.  I’m not saying there are no consequences to your actions, because of course there are.  But to live your life in fear because of something you or someone you love did in the past is just living your life in hell.

“ And all those expectations, they’re long gone, time to dry your pretty eyes, time to forgive and move on.” -Amy-

The key is to forgive yourself.  If you can’t forgive and let yourself move on.  If you keep hating yourself because of past mistakes.  You can never trust anyone else, you can never love anyone else, you can never forgive….It all starts with you.  Let it go, forgive yourself, forgive whoever it is that hurt you, no matter the circumstances, and move on.  Love yourself, and let yourself love again.

You deserve to be happy, you deserve not to live in hell any longer.  Life is short, seek out happiness, stop seeking out the same old hurts, the same old past thoughts.  Love your life and your life will love you back.

Hope your week is awesome.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

 

 

 

 

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Disappointment…

So I know it’s been awhile, glad you guys stuck it out with me.  I’ve been on a bit of a spiritual journey.  I knew I was slipping and have been trying to do some self help, self love, whatever you want to call it.  Basically digging into my soul to see how I can make myself better.

There are so many notions (ideas) that I’ve read and totally agree upon.  But this notion of learning not to expect anything from anyone else so you won’t be disappointed really is the hardest thing for me.

I think it’s in our very nature to expect certain things from other humans…we expect them to treat us with respect, dignity, and love if they are our children our spouse/lover, and when that doesn’t happen I’m not sure how we are just supposed to be okay with that.

“She found herself disappointed in the notion that she shouldn’t expect anything from anyone so that she’d never find herself disappointed...” -Amy Lopez-

So here’s what I’ve come up with in my own heart/mind.  I think it’s not that we shouldn’t expect certain things, of course, it’s obvious that we do.  But I think it’s kind of like this, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”  Meaning, just because someone doesn’t react to something the way we want them to, we can’t let it devastate us.  Just because someone doesn’t love the exact same way we do, it doesn’t mean we can’t still love them.  I think it’s natural and really okay to find ourselves disappointed in other humans, and also in ourselves.

If you have a significant other, even your children, it’s a good discussion to have. Communication is key! Let me them know what you’re going through, ask them to join you on your journey of becoming a better person.  If they’re up for it, awesome.  That way, at least, when you do things that may be disappointing to the other you’ll know that you are both trying, maybe you just slipped up.  Don’t let it ruin your relationship if you truly feel they’re giving it their best.  People make mistakes, lots of mistakes, and it’s totally up to you to keep giving chances or to have enough and walk away.

It’s hard to be the one (me) that is super excited about a new journey, about becoming a better person, speaking more love instead of hate, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and then when you feel you’re doing really great and making progress, bam! Someone important in your life slams you.  You may take it gracefully the first, second, or third time, but after that, you find yourself slipping, you can’t take anymore and then you let all that negativity bog you down, you slip back into the person you used to be.  Believe me, I know, it’s happened to me so many times I can’t count. But the good thing is, I’m realizing it, I’m mindful and aware of when it’s happening, and now it’s happening less and less, which is a positive step.

I’d love to hear your feedback, maybe some of you are struggling with the same issues, I’d love to help.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Have a beautiful week!

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Your Garden….

Not sure how many of you will be able to relate to this blog post, but I suppose if it’s meant for you, then you’ll understand it…..peach daisy I’ve been struggling a bit mentally, which in consequence, is making me struggle physically as well.

Yesterday, I decided to go out and shoot nothing but weeds, ha.  And you know what I discovered, upon adjusting my focal point and length.  Weeds are beautiful, you just have to look a little closer!

“At times I feel I’m struggling, like I can’t have a beautiful garden because I can’t get rid of the weeds.  But maybe the garden is already there, and it’s not full of weeds at all, it’s simply a big field of beautiful flowers and I’m just to damn busy and stressed to even realize it.  So I adjusted my focal point and it changed what I saw, I began guarding my thoughts, and it is changing my life….” -Amy-

Hope your weekend is beautiful and you begin watching the thoughts you let yourself think.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

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Are you your own worst enemy….

Have you ever really thought about how you speak to yourself?

Are you praising yourself, giving yourself a pat on the back, loving yourself, looking in the mirror and being proud of who you see?

Or, like most of us, are you condemning yourself. Telling yourself that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, young enough, talented enough. Are you looking in the mirror and pointing out to yourself all your flaws and how you wish you looked better?

We don’t realize it, but we hurt ourselves far more than anyone else can ever hurt us. We don’t realize that what we say to ourselves, what we think about ourselves, that’s the most that anyone else can ever think about us.  Though it’s true another person may be saying to you, “You look beautiful today…” In your heart, if you don’t believe it, because you have said too many times to yourself, “I’m disgusting, I wish I were more pretty,” than you won’t even hear when a person gives you a compliment, you’ve already condemned yourself.

The energy that comes from within you is what others receive from you.  If you are negative towards yourself, people sense that, and it makes them negative about you.  Conversely, if you have positive energy, and you really love yourself, others will love you and want to be around you because your energy is so positive and people, especially in these times, crave positive energy.

I have come to realize one thing about myself….I need to sincerely work on this.  I am a very positive and uplifting person…but only for other people.  I have started really listening to what I say to myself, and it’s not pleasant.  I’m never happy enough with how I look.  My writing is never quite good enough, my house never clean enough, and on and on….I think I’ve become very good at putting out a “false positive energy.” I can seem like a very nice positive person, but on the inside I’m not feeling it.

So if you are struggling like me, let’s start today to really listen to ourselves.  And when you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, stop for a moment, change your attitude and you will eventually change your behavior.  I don’t think this will be any small feet.  I think we’ve trained our brains from childhood to think the way we do, maybe we were raised with over bearing parents, maybe a love in our life, hurt us so deeply that we began to self-doubt ourselves.  But whatever it is that started this awful trend in ourselves, I know one thing for sure, we can break the cycle.

So: Do you ever realize the way you speak to yourself?  Maybe you ought to listen….

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

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The Journey is the Joy….

If you’re like me, and I’m sure millions of others, we all have that “one arrival point” the one where we think, “ok, this is where I’ll be happy, this is when I’ll know, I’ve arrived..” Maybe it’s when your last child leaves the house, when you make partner at your firm, when you park that new Mercedes in your driveway, pay off your house, retire with a big savings…

The funny thing is, I had all those thoughts too, but you know what, now I’ve gone past at least two of those marks in my life, and now I find that I have more new marks….still more waiting for all my dreams to come true, still more goals…

You see, I’m finding that in this life, there is no “one mark”, there’s no end game, there’s no “i’ve finally reached my happily ever after..”.  Truth is, our final destination is death, that’s the end mark.

I think of yesterday as a sunset, tomorrow a sunrise, only today do we have enough light to share our love and to really live.  You see the burdens of yesterday are what drive people crazy, thinking of all we need to do tomorrow  make us feel defeated, we can only live in the moment.

So for myself, and I hope for you, I’m going to chase more waterfalls, smell more flowers, go outside barefoot, say I love you more, climb more mountains, watch more sunsets, watch more sunrises, spend more time laughing and less crying.

Life can only be lived as we go along,  joy is found in the journey and in the moment, not in a “point of arrival”….

Peace & Love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….