Kindness…

Kindness isn’t just something you show to someone because they deserve it.  Mercy, compassion, forgiveness, these are all things we show to others because we find those traits in our own hearts.  You can’t show or receive kindness, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, unless you have them inside you to give.

I’ve come to a point in life where I no longer feel rejected or upset when I show kindness to someone and they don’t reciprocate.  I know beyond a doubt, there is someone behind that unkindness.  Something has happened to that person that makes them unkind, something perhaps, beyond my comprehension.  I think that this type of knowledge, this understanding that there’s always more to a person than what they portray on the outside helps me be more kind, compassionate, merciful, forgiving.

There was a time I stayed in my own little shell because I’ve always been a little too kind perhaps, and I used to get my heart broken by unkind people.  But as I’ve grown in my writing, photography, studying of people, nature, etc. I’ve come to realize there’s so much more.  If I don’t follow my inner self that is kind, if I keep all that bottled up because I’m scared to show it, then I die slowly inside.  I become cold, unkind, unloving, unmerciful, someone I never want to be.

So on this “National Kindness Day,” give it a shot.  Show kindness, not just to someone you know is kind themselves, but to someone who doesn’t deserve it.  Someone who’s hurt you or been unkind to you.  Maybe a store clerk who always has a frown on their face, maybe one of your customers that always complains. I’m not saying to let people walk on you, I’m just saying perhaps if you listen to your intuition, you’ll know.  You’ll just know who needs it, and you’ll just always exude this attitude of kindness, it draws people to you, people want to be around kindness.  Be the light in a dark room.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

 

Your Garden….

Not sure how many of you will be able to relate to this blog post, but I suppose if it’s meant for you, then you’ll understand it…..peach daisy I’ve been struggling a bit mentally, which in consequence, is making me struggle physically as well.

Yesterday, I decided to go out and shoot nothing but weeds, ha.  And you know what I discovered, upon adjusting my focal point and length.  Weeds are beautiful, you just have to look a little closer!

“At times I feel I’m struggling, like I can’t have a beautiful garden because I can’t get rid of the weeds.  But maybe the garden is already there, and it’s not full of weeds at all, it’s simply a big field of beautiful flowers and I’m just to damn busy and stressed to even realize it.  So I adjusted my focal point and it changed what I saw, I began guarding my thoughts, and it is changing my life….” -Amy-

Hope your weekend is beautiful and you begin watching the thoughts you let yourself think.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

When darkness settles in…..

So just gonna be super vulnerable and honest here, cause my writing is as much therapy for myself, as it is also, the hope that I’m providing for you.  Yesterday, I really struggled.  It went from 75 degrees and sunny to rainy, gloomy and low 40’s. I had people let me down that I was really counting on, I had a loved one yell at me, and I do mean yell, for no apparent reason.  I was kind to several people through text and email, and I was shown not one ounce of kindness.  I felt let down, I was tired, and frankly, I was more depressed than I have been in quite awhile.  I couldn’t even make myself work out.  So I did the only thing I could do, I went to bed.  I slept until the middle of the afternoon, woke up and did some writing, and went back to bed.  I didn’t eat all day, oh except, a few chocolate chips, which helped in making me feel even worse about myself 🙂

So this morning when I woke up, I actually felt better, a little more energetic, and good thoughts, like, “I am not having another day like that…”  It lasted for a few hours, and then I felt the darkness settling in on me again.  So I sat down and looked through my gallery of pictures, which usually helps me feel better, and I wrote this poem:

I hope in the middle of an ordinary day, you’ll be blessed with some things you didn’t see coming your way.  Perhaps kindness shown by another human being.  I hope that you see mountains and streams, or so many other beautiful things.  I hope today your mind will be filled with wonder, the way it used to be when you were younger….–Amy—

And well, I still feel a little gloomy, but it helped, I got up washed my face, got my workout clothes on and did Yoga.  I know exercise isn’t a cure all, but I’m telling you, it really helped me.  I think sweating and getting your heart pumping, stretching your body, opening up your chest to expand your heart, being mindful of your breathing, well, it just makes you feel alive. And that’s exactly what I needed after a day of not feeling alive at all.

Like a lot of others I struggle with depression, and usually I can fight through it, it’s been months since I’ve had a day like yesterday, but I’m real, it happens, and sometimes I don’t defeat it, and that’s what happened yesterday, I gave in to it.  Today, I will not, I will fight like a champion, and even if there’s a dark cloud over me, I’ll look for my own sunshine, and I hope that you’ll find your own as well.

Peace & Love

Cause I’m not there yet, the battle is for sure real, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Less Anxiety & Fear….

Good morning, Happy Thursday, can’t believe another week has almost passed us by, make today count, you won’t get it back.

My morning poem:  Been having some real confusion on the direction my life needs to take right now, can’t seem to make a decision that will please everyone.  So I went to the ocean, to let my body unwind a bit, to just let my thoughts come undone.  Just for awhile I thought nothing but about the very moment I was in.  The sounds, the smells, the beauty, the way the mist felt on my skin.  And later when I returned, my problems were still here, but I’m facing them with less anxiety, and most importantly, with less fear… – Amy –

I know not everyone can just take a stroll down the road and be at a beautiful beach or a waterfall or in the mountains. But everyone can step outside, whether you live in a major city, suburb, or way out in the middle of nowhere, millions of miles away in Egypt.  Today if you’re struggling with decisions, or just life in general, take a moment or two, step outside, think of what’s beautiful, anything at all.  Maybe you see a beautiful tree, flower, puppy, ocean, mountain, or waterfall.  Or maybe all you can see is people busy bustling around with their stressed out lives.  Even that can be a blessing, think about how you don’t want that for your life, and then do your best to make it all slow down.  Breath deeply, in through your nose, big exhale through your mouth, be mindful for just a few moments, and then go back in, take on your day, see if it helps just a bit.

I know a lot of our health issues today, especially in America, are stress related.  We think we have to have our shit together at all times, that we have to know exactly what our plan is, where our life is headed and how we’re going to get there.  We need perfect lovers, spouses, children, we need to be perfect ourselves.  And it’s all a lie.  I can highly bet that the majority of us are in the same boat.  We don’t know what the hell we’re really doing, we’re just doing it.

Life shouldn’t be this difficult, there should be hard work, yes, but if we aren’t enjoying life, then why were given it in the first place?  Find some joy today, put away thoughts of perfection, we’re all a little fucked up and that’s ok.  I have a real issue with this, and I’m doing my best to find a way to deal with it.  Ocean therapy is a big one for me, but any type of nature brings me peace and healing.

I hope you find a little peace today and I hope it brings a little healing to your life.

I love this poem titled “Peace” by J.W. Von Goethe

“There is only silence

on the mountain tops

Among the tips of the trees

You perceive barely a breath

Even the birds in the forest

Keep still and are silent

Wait then

Just a little while longer

and you too

will find peace at last.”

Cause I”m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff……

 

Light in the dark…

Good morning, hope your Tuesday is beautiful!

My morning poem: She placed the picture by her bed, she knew there would be some dark times ahead.  It was majestic and made her focus on the light when she was sleepless, on those very dark nights.  Meditating on the sound of the waves made her body calm.  She had always known the ocean, was where she belonged….-Amy-

Spent a long weekend in Rhode Island with my daughter.  This picture was a flight I took my drone on, it came back with some amazing videos and photos.  I’ve always loved nature, but the ocean, has always seemed the place that made my heart feel renewed.  I’ve visited all different places with beautiful oceans from Florida to Washington State to Oregon, to Rhode Island, and all are equally beautiful and majestic.  This was, however, the most beautiful lighthouse I have seen and also one of the oldest.  It was the 3rd light house built on the Atlantic Ocean way back in the 1700’s.  I felt so much history and though a little spooky, it was so calming to know that this beacon of light had probably saved thousands of lives.

Have you ever placed your favorite pictures by your bed, or just in your bedroom?  I have several.  A few of my favorite sunsets, flowers, and now this one of this lighthouse.  I used to think that mediating was quite odd, and to be honest, I can barely get my mind to “be still” for a few seconds, let alone several minutes.  Since beginning Yoga though, I’ve really been focusing on just being mindful, which has helped me calm my mind and let it just be still, even for a few minutes.

I’m a really light sleeper, and honestly don’t sleep too well most nights, but I’ve started practicing placing my most calming pictures closest to my bed.  On those nights I wake up restless, or sad, or my mind is just going a thousand miles a minute, I reign my focus in on one of those pictures, and I replay how I felt at the moment I took the pictures, or on how the picture itself makes me feel.  I remember the excitement of flying the drone and just listening to the crashing of the waves, and it makes me feel happy to be alive and to have had the chance to be there.  I focus on one of my favorite sunset pictures from Washington State on the ocean and it makes me remember how happy I was at that moment, and how absolutely beautiful it was and it calms me.  Sometimes I focus on a few of my favorite purple flower pictures, I think about the smell and of how beautiful the world is if we truly just look to find the beauty in it.

I hope maybe this practice will give you some good ideas if you struggle with resting like I do.  It really has helped me, and just the practice of being mindful alone has changed my life for the better.

I hope your Tuesday is truly beautiful, and hey, run to CVS, print off some $0.39 pictures, put them in some lovely frames, it’s cheap and one of the best therapies I’ve found….

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Hello world!

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I rarely sleep more than 4 or 5 hours, but this morning I was beyond blessed by a gift you can only receive very early in the morning!

Be mindful today of the many blessings you have, focus on the positive.

My morning quiet thoughts were these: Today, I will focus on what’s good in my life, I won’t say forever, but just today, I will not let negative thoughts ruin the small moments of joy that I’m given.

Not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…