Be All In

How to be all in

Let me start with my own story….so I’ve been working quite awhile on getting out of my own head.  Trying to stop living in my thoughts, in my stories, and just trying to stay present and deal with the truth in every moment.

I’ve been healing from a recent surgery and pretty frustrated frankly with my surgeon and not getting the answers that I’ve been looking for.  So I made an appointment with my general Dr. hoping to get some clarity.  I’ve known I’ve gained some weight after the operation, which has been upsetting because I eat a pretty healthy vegetarian diet but haven’t been able to exercise like for six weeks, however, I hadn’t actually weighed myself.  Upon getting to the Dr. office I stepped on the scale to discover I’ve gained 22 pounds in six weeks since surgery. The Dr. discussed the possibility of what inflammation was doing to my body, some possible kidney issues, etc. but honestly I didn’t hear much of what she was saying.  You see, I immediately went into my head and started hearing the voices from years and years past talking about beautiful bodies, slim figures, etc.  I heard voices and felt past pain from arguments about my weight, hurtful comments about not being in good enough shape or sexually attractive.  All of it, and when I say all of it, I’m talking 20-30 years of stories all dealing with weight issues came rushing in and I immediately took it to heart.  My unhappiness was heavy on my chest.

Are you in

I tried desperately to bring my attention back to my Dr. and to discuss possible reasons for what I was going through, both physically and mentally.  As I left her office and walked down to the lab I started crying.  And as I sat in the chair, I started asking myself, what was going on, what was I feeling.  My stomach was hurting, my heart was aching, and then I thought, “Ok, so what’s really going on, outside the story, what’s really the truth here?” And you know, as soon, as I got my mind quiet and left the story spinning, I realized the truth was I had come to get some answers. My health has been on a roller coaster.  There’s nothing I’m doing that’s causing this weight gain. No one has said anything hateful to me or been unpleasant at all.  I’m actually proud of myself for the way I’ve dealt with this blow to my health.  I just need answers, I need to be my own advocate, I need to deal with what’s happening right now.

Is it easy to be in the moment

No, it wasn’t easy and it didn’t come naturally.  In fact, the remainder of the day I had to repeatedly bring myself back.  “Stop, stop, stop with the stories.” I literally had to tell myself this over and over throughout the day.  But every time I did, I felt relief.  I was still not happy with my situation, but I was living it, I was doing something about it. There was no need to make myself unhappy by adding in all the past stories around weight.  I didn’t need that, I needed to deal with the present.

You see unhappiness isn’t caused by emotions. Unhappiness is emotions plus an unhappy story.  So when you remove the unhappy story you are left with just the emotions and the emotions are ok, you can handle them.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to shout, shout.  But hold your head high, walk through that hell like the devil himself invited you.  Once you get to the other side, you’ll feel a relief like no other.

So I”m still in search of answers, I’m being my own advocate, and I’m doing it right now, in this moment, today.  I’m not telling myself stories, I’m living in truth.  I have found that I wasn’t as unhappy as I thought I was. You can’t really be unhappy without an unhappy story.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love

Amy

I am a published author and Master Life Coach with certifications in Happiness Therapy and Mental Abuse.  If you’d like to set an appointment with me, I’d love to talk.  Reach me @ [email protected]

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Self Love

Loving Yourself

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’ve been extremely hateful to myself for the last couple of weeks. I’ve talked negatively to myself, which I know better then to do. I’ve not showered, I’ve been lazy, I’ve withdrawn from friends and family. And well, today, I’m putting a stop to it.  A stop to the punishing of myself for things out of my control.  Because after all, we can’t control everything that happens. But what we can control is how we feel in the moment of what’s happening. We can choose to be as happy or as sad as we want to.  We can choose to make ourselves feel better or worse simply by changing the words we speak to ourselves.

Loving Words of Affirmation

We are harder on ourselves then any other person could ever be. The words we say to ourselves inside our own minds hurt us more then the words of everyone else.  Start speaking words of affirmation to yourself instead of words of negativity.  Here are a few examples:  Okay, so it’s raining outside.  Instead of saying, “Ugh, it’s so dreary, I’m going to be so down today because of this rain.” Try saying, “It’s raining outside, I’ll find something fun to do today inside to brighten my mood.” You know, it is what it is.  It’s just rain.  It’s not dreary, it’s not gloomy, it’s just rain.  Here’s another one: “I look terrible. The lines on my face are getting deeper, my clothes are so tight they’re uncomfortable, I’ve gotten so fat and out of shape.” Replace that with, “I will start getting more sleep, drinking more water and less caffeine.  Today I’ll make some better food choices, and get back onto my workout plan.  Not because I look terrible, but because working out and eating right feels good, puts me in a better mood, and is so healthy for me and I love me.”

So you get the idea…It’s not that you won’t have negative thoughts, you will, we all do.  And a big mistake a lot of us make is we just try not to think that way.  But what’s important is that you take that negative thought, remove it, and replace it.  If you don’t replace your negative thought with a positive one, you’ll continue to repeat the negative thought.  Throw it out, stomp on it, but then replace it and smile.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at: [email protected]

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Struggles of an Empath

An Empaths struggle is real

On one shoulder sits the empath and on the other the bitch and I’m torn between walking away and trying harder.

As an empath it’s really a struggle to know when I’ve done enough. I give too many chances, love to hard, show too much kindness. Sometimes it literally feels like it’s draining my soul.

Apathy or Empathy

So when is enough enough? When is it time to be a little more apathetic and a little less empathetic? You know I use the term bitch as the opposite of empath but it’s not being a bitch to remove yourself from someone or a situation that is draining you.

empath

Sometimes it’s necessary to your mental health, to your own well being to just get the fuck away from someone that is draining you spiritually and mentally. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

There’s no doubt you’ve given it all you could. You’ve probably loved too hard, shown too much kindness, and given everything you have to give, and you know what, for some that will never be Enuff.  That’s when you know, come on, you’ve probably always known, it’s time to exit their lives and to keep a strong distance. Do it for yourself, cause you should love yourself as much as you keep loving everyone else.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. Available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

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Vibing Positivity

A new decade of positivity

It’s not only a new day, a new week, a new year….it’s a brand new decade!!

Did you know if you vibe positivity, positivity comes back to you.  It’s true, what you send out into the universe comes back to you.

I can literally feel energy from other people.  I know when they’re down and I know when they’re up.  And life is full of both.  But what if we can take the down and turn it up more often? What if life can be lived in a more positive way instead of so much suffering?

Turning negative to positive

I know it’s impossible to always be positive.  Obviously life throws things at us that we can’t control, and sometimes those things make us sad, anxious, cautious and less than optimistic.  That’s all okay as long as we don’t “lay in that swamp” too long.  Let yourself feel those things.  But you’re also the only one that can control what you do with those feelings.  You are the only one that makes the choice to stay down and negative or figure out a way to be positive about what’s happening.

So take today, it’s Monday, a new day, the beginning a of a new week.  Start drinking more water, get in a little exercise, make a few better food choices, try to get outdoors, even if it’s cold, be kinder, stress a little less and you know what….try vibing positivity!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which you can find on Amazon.

I’m also a certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving psychological abuse and happiness therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

Follow and subscribe to my blog to receive updates and alerts

Be your own Author

You are the only Author

Once you realize you’re the only author of your story, it gives you a sense of power, a purpose and improvement of your mental well being.  Only you decide what happens in your story.  And though you may not be living it at the present moment it’s never to late to start again.

 

Not tomorrow..you’re the Author today

You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to begin the practice of journaling.  It’s the best way to rewrite your story.  You don’t have to have a degree, be the perfect weight, have a new love, a new place to live, etc. You start today, and then I highly recommend daily editing.

I truly believe the art of writing can change your life.  Whether you buy a leather bound beautiful journal, make one stapled together with paper, or just use google docs, get your feelings down on paper.  They don’t have to make sense, you don’t have to be a great writer or poet, just write them down.  It’s a great way to really see what’s going on in your life and where you need to make some changes.

Author of gratitude

One of the best things you can do for your own personal/mental health is to write down things you’re grateful for.  Some days you may find that difficult, you’ve had a really shit day, things have sucked, people have been mean, etc.  But really dig deep here, there’s always something to be grateful for.  Maybe something as small as being grateful you have a warm home, or maybe you’re just grateful that you survived the day, etc.  When you write down things you’re grateful for, it makes your heart a little warmer.  You start to see the world in a new light.  Not everything is doom and gloom.  You really do have something to live for, there is a higher purpose.

I truly hope you start today.  Write your story, rewrite it often, and continue editing.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love, Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You can contact me via email @[email protected]

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