So I know it’s been awhile, glad you guys stuck it out with me. I’ve been on a bit of a spiritual journey. I knew I was slipping and have been trying to do some self help, self love, whatever you want to call it. Basically digging into my soul to see how I can make myself better.
There are so many notions (ideas) that I’ve read and totally agree upon. But this notion of learning not to expect anything from anyone else so you won’t be disappointed really is the hardest thing for me.
I think it’s in our very nature to expect certain things from other humans…we expect them to treat us with respect, dignity, and love if they are our children our spouse/lover, and when that doesn’t happen I’m not sure how we are just supposed to be okay with that.
“She found herself disappointed in the notion that she shouldn’t expect anything from anyone so that she’d never find herself disappointed...” -Amy Lopez-
So here’s what I’ve come up with in my own heart/mind. I think it’s not that we shouldn’t expect certain things, of course, it’s obvious that we do. But I think it’s kind of like this, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Meaning, just because someone doesn’t react to something the way we want them to, we can’t let it devastate us. Just because someone doesn’t love the exact same way we do, it doesn’t mean we can’t still love them. I think it’s natural and really okay to find ourselves disappointed in other humans, and also in ourselves.
If you have a significant other, even your children, it’s a good discussion to have. Communication is key! Let me them know what you’re going through, ask them to join you on your journey of becoming a better person. If they’re up for it, awesome. That way, at least, when you do things that may be disappointing to the other you’ll know that you are both trying, maybe you just slipped up. Don’t let it ruin your relationship if you truly feel they’re giving it their best. People make mistakes, lots of mistakes, and it’s totally up to you to keep giving chances or to have enough and walk away.
It’s hard to be the one (me) that is super excited about a new journey, about becoming a better person, speaking more love instead of hate, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and then when you feel you’re doing really great and making progress, bam! Someone important in your life slams you. You may take it gracefully the first, second, or third time, but after that, you find yourself slipping, you can’t take anymore and then you let all that negativity bog you down, you slip back into the person you used to be. Believe me, I know, it’s happened to me so many times I can’t count. But the good thing is, I’m realizing it, I’m mindful and aware of when it’s happening, and now it’s happening less and less, which is a positive step.
I’d love to hear your feedback, maybe some of you are struggling with the same issues, I’d love to help.
Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff
Have a beautiful week!