Mindful Living

Becoming Mindful of your thoughts

Seems the more we can’t control something, the more we realize it’s really out of our hands, the more we think about it.

Tips for a mindful practice

I find that it helps during these times if I sit quietly and just ask myself what is really true.  Sometimes it helps if I picture myself as a third person, looking in from the outside at the situation. And most of the time, well, really, all the time, the thoughts that are running through my head simply aren’t accurate or true.

Try to stay present, be mindful of what you’re thinking. Cause the truth is, if it’s out of your hands, then it shouldn’t be weighing so heavily on your mind. Let it go, come on, you can do it….

Peace & Love,

Amy

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

I am a published author of, “Soon Enuff,” available and on sale this week worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse.

You may reach me via email @ amereelynne45@gmail.com

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Be All In

How to be all in

Let me start with my own story….so I’ve been working quite awhile on getting out of my own head.  Trying to stop living in my thoughts, in my stories, and just trying to stay present and deal with the truth in every moment.

I’ve been healing from a recent surgery and pretty frustrated frankly with my surgeon and not getting the answers that I’ve been looking for.  So I made an appointment with my general Dr. hoping to get some clarity.  I’ve known I’ve gained some weight after the operation, which has been upsetting because I eat a pretty healthy vegetarian diet but haven’t been able to exercise like for six weeks, however, I hadn’t actually weighed myself.  Upon getting to the Dr. office I stepped on the scale to discover I’ve gained 22 pounds in six weeks since surgery. The Dr. discussed the possibility of what inflammation was doing to my body, some possible kidney issues, etc. but honestly I didn’t hear much of what she was saying.  You see, I immediately went into my head and started hearing the voices from years and years past talking about beautiful bodies, slim figures, etc.  I heard voices and felt past pain from arguments about my weight, hurtful comments about not being in good enough shape or sexually attractive.  All of it, and when I say all of it, I’m talking 20-30 years of stories all dealing with weight issues came rushing in and I immediately took it to heart.  My unhappiness was heavy on my chest.

Are you in

I tried desperately to bring my attention back to my Dr. and to discuss possible reasons for what I was going through, both physically and mentally.  As I left her office and walked down to the lab I started crying.  And as I sat in the chair, I started asking myself, what was going on, what was I feeling.  My stomach was hurting, my heart was aching, and then I thought, “Ok, so what’s really going on, outside the story, what’s really the truth here?” And you know, as soon, as I got my mind quiet and left the story spinning, I realized the truth was I had come to get some answers. My health has been on a roller coaster.  There’s nothing I’m doing that’s causing this weight gain. No one has said anything hateful to me or been unpleasant at all.  I’m actually proud of myself for the way I’ve dealt with this blow to my health.  I just need answers, I need to be my own advocate, I need to deal with what’s happening right now.

Is it easy to be in the moment

No, it wasn’t easy and it didn’t come naturally.  In fact, the remainder of the day I had to repeatedly bring myself back.  “Stop, stop, stop with the stories.” I literally had to tell myself this over and over throughout the day.  But every time I did, I felt relief.  I was still not happy with my situation, but I was living it, I was doing something about it. There was no need to make myself unhappy by adding in all the past stories around weight.  I didn’t need that, I needed to deal with the present.

You see unhappiness isn’t caused by emotions. Unhappiness is emotions plus an unhappy story.  So when you remove the unhappy story you are left with just the emotions and the emotions are ok, you can handle them.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to shout, shout.  But hold your head high, walk through that hell like the devil himself invited you.  Once you get to the other side, you’ll feel a relief like no other.

So I”m still in search of answers, I’m being my own advocate, and I’m doing it right now, in this moment, today.  I’m not telling myself stories, I’m living in truth.  I have found that I wasn’t as unhappy as I thought I was. You can’t really be unhappy without an unhappy story.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love

Amy

I am a published author and Master Life Coach with certifications in Happiness Therapy and Mental Abuse.  If you’d like to set an appointment with me, I’d love to talk.  Reach me @ amereelynne45@gmail.com

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Self Love

Loving Yourself

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’ve been extremely hateful to myself for the last couple of weeks. I’ve talked negatively to myself, which I know better then to do. I’ve not showered, I’ve been lazy, I’ve withdrawn from friends and family. And well, today, I’m putting a stop to it.  A stop to the punishing of myself for things out of my control.  Because after all, we can’t control everything that happens. But what we can control is how we feel in the moment of what’s happening. We can choose to be as happy or as sad as we want to.  We can choose to make ourselves feel better or worse simply by changing the words we speak to ourselves.

Loving Words of Affirmation

We are harder on ourselves then any other person could ever be. The words we say to ourselves inside our own minds hurt us more then the words of everyone else.  Start speaking words of affirmation to yourself instead of words of negativity.  Here are a few examples:  Okay, so it’s raining outside.  Instead of saying, “Ugh, it’s so dreary, I’m going to be so down today because of this rain.” Try saying, “It’s raining outside, I’ll find something fun to do today inside to brighten my mood.” You know, it is what it is.  It’s just rain.  It’s not dreary, it’s not gloomy, it’s just rain.  Here’s another one: “I look terrible. The lines on my face are getting deeper, my clothes are so tight they’re uncomfortable, I’ve gotten so fat and out of shape.” Replace that with, “I will start getting more sleep, drinking more water and less caffeine.  Today I’ll make some better food choices, and get back onto my workout plan.  Not because I look terrible, but because working out and eating right feels good, puts me in a better mood, and is so healthy for me and I love me.”

So you get the idea…It’s not that you won’t have negative thoughts, you will, we all do.  And a big mistake a lot of us make is we just try not to think that way.  But what’s important is that you take that negative thought, remove it, and replace it.  If you don’t replace your negative thought with a positive one, you’ll continue to repeat the negative thought.  Throw it out, stomp on it, but then replace it and smile.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at: amereelynne45@gmail.com

Follow and like my blog to receive updates and important information 🙂

 

 

Struggles of an Empath

An Empaths struggle is real

On one shoulder sits the empath and on the other the bitch and I’m torn between walking away and trying harder.

As an empath it’s really a struggle to know when I’ve done enough. I give too many chances, love to hard, show too much kindness. Sometimes it literally feels like it’s draining my soul.

Apathy or Empathy

So when is enough enough? When is it time to be a little more apathetic and a little less empathetic? You know I use the term bitch as the opposite of empath but it’s not being a bitch to remove yourself from someone or a situation that is draining you.

empath

Sometimes it’s necessary to your mental health, to your own well being to just get the fuck away from someone that is draining you spiritually and mentally. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

There’s no doubt you’ve given it all you could. You’ve probably loved too hard, shown too much kindness, and given everything you have to give, and you know what, for some that will never be Enuff.  That’s when you know, come on, you’ve probably always known, it’s time to exit their lives and to keep a strong distance. Do it for yourself, cause you should love yourself as much as you keep loving everyone else.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. Available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at amereelynne45@gmail.com

I’d appreciate your follow, like and subscribing to my blog for updates and alerts on new posts.

 

Vibing Positivity

A new decade of positivity

It’s not only a new day, a new week, a new year….it’s a brand new decade!!

Did you know if you vibe positivity, positivity comes back to you.  It’s true, what you send out into the universe comes back to you.

I can literally feel energy from other people.  I know when they’re down and I know when they’re up.  And life is full of both.  But what if we can take the down and turn it up more often? What if life can be lived in a more positive way instead of so much suffering?

Turning negative to positive

I know it’s impossible to always be positive.  Obviously life throws things at us that we can’t control, and sometimes those things make us sad, anxious, cautious and less than optimistic.  That’s all okay as long as we don’t “lay in that swamp” too long.  Let yourself feel those things.  But you’re also the only one that can control what you do with those feelings.  You are the only one that makes the choice to stay down and negative or figure out a way to be positive about what’s happening.

So take today, it’s Monday, a new day, the beginning a of a new week.  Start drinking more water, get in a little exercise, make a few better food choices, try to get outdoors, even if it’s cold, be kinder, stress a little less and you know what….try vibing positivity!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which you can find on Amazon.

I’m also a certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving psychological abuse and happiness therapy.

You may email me at amereelynne45@gmail.com

Follow and subscribe to my blog to receive updates and alerts

Be your own Author

You are the only Author

Once you realize you’re the only author of your story, it gives you a sense of power, a purpose and improvement of your mental well being.  Only you decide what happens in your story.  And though you may not be living it at the present moment it’s never to late to start again.

 

Not tomorrow..you’re the Author today

You don’t have to wait until everything is perfect to begin the practice of journaling.  It’s the best way to rewrite your story.  You don’t have to have a degree, be the perfect weight, have a new love, a new place to live, etc. You start today, and then I highly recommend daily editing.

I truly believe the art of writing can change your life.  Whether you buy a leather bound beautiful journal, make one stapled together with paper, or just use google docs, get your feelings down on paper.  They don’t have to make sense, you don’t have to be a great writer or poet, just write them down.  It’s a great way to really see what’s going on in your life and where you need to make some changes.

Author of gratitude

One of the best things you can do for your own personal/mental health is to write down things you’re grateful for.  Some days you may find that difficult, you’ve had a really shit day, things have sucked, people have been mean, etc.  But really dig deep here, there’s always something to be grateful for.  Maybe something as small as being grateful you have a warm home, or maybe you’re just grateful that you survived the day, etc.  When you write down things you’re grateful for, it makes your heart a little warmer.  You start to see the world in a new light.  Not everything is doom and gloom.  You really do have something to live for, there is a higher purpose.

I truly hope you start today.  Write your story, rewrite it often, and continue editing.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love, Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You can contact me via email @amereelynne45@gmail.com

Follow my blog for alerts on new articles

Self Worth

Many times when we experience heart ache or loss we tell ourselves we aren’t worthy of happiness, of love, of joy.

We think that just because we love someone with all our heart they should automatically love us back and unfortunately that’s just not how life is.  Everyone has a right to their own feelings, choices of who they love and no one can dictate or make someone feel something they don’t.

We often tell ourselves in this situation that it’s okay, “we can love enough for the both of us.” Reality is, that can never work.  If someone doesn’t love you do you really want them in your life?  Do you really want to cling to something that you already know is never going to happen?

I say no, we need to accept what is and let go of what we hoped it would be.  It’s the only way to truly be happy…

Just because he didn’t love you doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving…” –Amy–

Realize that you are worthy of love that you are worthy of happiness and joy.  Just because one person doesn’t return your feelings, doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving. It’s just that maybe that person was never meant for you…move on, love will find you one day but in the meantime love yourself…

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love always,

Amy

Disappointment…

So I know it’s been awhile, glad you guys stuck it out with me.  I’ve been on a bit of a spiritual journey.  I knew I was slipping and have been trying to do some self help, self love, whatever you want to call it.  Basically digging into my soul to see how I can make myself better.

There are so many notions (ideas) that I’ve read and totally agree upon.  But this notion of learning not to expect anything from anyone else so you won’t be disappointed really is the hardest thing for me.

I think it’s in our very nature to expect certain things from other humans…we expect them to treat us with respect, dignity, and love if they are our children our spouse/lover, and when that doesn’t happen I’m not sure how we are just supposed to be okay with that.

She found herself disappointed in the notion that she shouldn’t expect anything from anyone so that she’d never find herself disappointed...” -Amy Lopez-

So here’s what I’ve come up with in my own heart/mind.  I think it’s not that we shouldn’t expect certain things, of course, it’s obvious that we do.  But I think it’s kind of like this, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”  Meaning, just because someone doesn’t react to something the way we want them to, we can’t let it devastate us.  Just because someone doesn’t love the exact same way we do, it doesn’t mean we can’t still love them.  I think it’s natural and really okay to find ourselves disappointed in other humans, and also in ourselves.

If you have a significant other, even your children, it’s a good discussion to have. Communication is key! Let me them know what you’re going through, ask them to join you on your journey of becoming a better person.  If they’re up for it, awesome.  That way, at least, when you do things that may be disappointing to the other you’ll know that you are both trying, maybe you just slipped up.  Don’t let it ruin your relationship if you truly feel they’re giving it their best.  People make mistakes, lots of mistakes, and it’s totally up to you to keep giving chances or to have enough and walk away.

It’s hard to be the one (me) that is super excited about a new journey, about becoming a better person, speaking more love instead of hate, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and then when you feel you’re doing really great and making progress, bam! Someone important in your life slams you.  You may take it gracefully the first, second, or third time, but after that, you find yourself slipping, you can’t take anymore and then you let all that negativity bog you down, you slip back into the person you used to be.  Believe me, I know, it’s happened to me so many times I can’t count. But the good thing is, I’m realizing it, I’m mindful and aware of when it’s happening, and now it’s happening less and less, which is a positive step.

I’d love to hear your feedback, maybe some of you are struggling with the same issues, I’d love to help.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Have a beautiful week!

Are you your own worst enemy….

Have you ever really thought about how you speak to yourself?

Are you praising yourself, giving yourself a pat on the back, loving yourself, looking in the mirror and being proud of who you see?

Or, like most of us, are you condemning yourself. Telling yourself that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, young enough, talented enough. Are you looking in the mirror and pointing out to yourself all your flaws and how you wish you looked better?

We don’t realize it, but we hurt ourselves far more than anyone else can ever hurt us. We don’t realize that what we say to ourselves, what we think about ourselves, that’s the most that anyone else can ever think about us.  Though it’s true another person may be saying to you, “You look beautiful today…” In your heart, if you don’t believe it, because you have said too many times to yourself, “I’m disgusting, I wish I were more pretty,” than you won’t even hear when a person gives you a compliment, you’ve already condemned yourself.

The energy that comes from within you is what others receive from you.  If you are negative towards yourself, people sense that, and it makes them negative about you.  Conversely, if you have positive energy, and you really love yourself, others will love you and want to be around you because your energy is so positive and people, especially in these times, crave positive energy.

I have come to realize one thing about myself….I need to sincerely work on this.  I am a very positive and uplifting person…but only for other people.  I have started really listening to what I say to myself, and it’s not pleasant.  I’m never happy enough with how I look.  My writing is never quite good enough, my house never clean enough, and on and on….I think I’ve become very good at putting out a “false positive energy.” I can seem like a very nice positive person, but on the inside I’m not feeling it.

So if you are struggling like me, let’s start today to really listen to ourselves.  And when you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, stop for a moment, change your attitude and you will eventually change your behavior.  I don’t think this will be any small feet.  I think we’ve trained our brains from childhood to think the way we do, maybe we were raised with over bearing parents, maybe a love in our life, hurt us so deeply that we began to self-doubt ourselves.  But whatever it is that started this awful trend in ourselves, I know one thing for sure, we can break the cycle.

So: Do you ever realize the way you speak to yourself?  Maybe you ought to listen….

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Be your own Valentine….

 

Happy Wednesday, I hope you do something for yourself to make today beautiful!

My morning poem:  A holiday celebrating love can be the loneliest time, especially when you have no Valentine…-Amy-

So listen, I know there are a lot of people out there that won’t have anyone to say Happy Valentines Day to.  Maybe you won’t receive chocolates or flowers, or even a sweet text, but please, don’t let it ruin your day.  After all, today is also just Wednesday, and there are a lot of things you can do to make it beautiful.

Here are a few things I’m going to practice today to make my day better:  Send my kids cute messages, because I want them to know that not just today, but everyday I love them, they’re my forever Valentines.  Buy flowers for myself, to put on my stand in front of where I do my yoga practice, this is where I also placed rocks that I brought back from the beach, just to bring good memories and make me feel more relaxed. Take a hot bath, sprinkle some lavender in the water and just soak in it.  It’s rare that I take the time, I’m usually jumping in feeling rushed to hurry in and out of the shower, so this will be really nice.  Just basically loving myself.

I know it’s kind of cliche these days, everyone seems to be into “self-love.”  I think self-love is great, do I think you should only care about yourself, and not put other’s feelings into prospective, and sometimes put them above your own feelings, absolutely not.  There are a lot of times we have to sacrifice a bit of ourselves to make someone else happy.  At least I do, because making others happy is often what makes me the happiest.

So today, whether you have a Valentine or not, show yourself some extra love, be mindful of how much you have been blessed with, and honestly, you may not at this moment have a “love of your life,” but believe me, you are loved, and you need to remember that today and everyday….

Also….as a side note: who needs chocolate anyways? go workout, it’s healthier for that heart that everyone will be posting pictures of 😉

So here’s my message to you: Happy Wednesday, Happy Valentine’s Day, make today beautiful cause you are beautiful my friend!

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..