Count the Sunrises…..

“Life goes by so fast, have you ever counted the sunrises that have passed?” -Amy-

Sometimes I complain because I don’t feel like I ever get enough sleep, but this morning I was so grateful that I’m an early riser.  I really hate to miss a sunrise, especially one like this morning.

I’m one that is very nostalgic,  always thinking about my favorite moments, things that remind me of those moments, smells, sights, tastes, etc.  So I do tend to count the days, weeks, months that it’s been since an important event has happened.  I miss that moment, I think about it, and I try to think of it fondly, not in a sad way, and then, I usually feel better about it.

I hope you take this weekend to remember some of the most fond memories you have, but most importantly to make some new memories that years from now, you’ll think back on and remember with love.

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

When darkness settles in…..

So just gonna be super vulnerable and honest here, cause my writing is as much therapy for myself, as it is also, the hope that I’m providing for you.  Yesterday, I really struggled.  It went from 75 degrees and sunny to rainy, gloomy and low 40’s. I had people let me down that I was really counting on, I had a loved one yell at me, and I do mean yell, for no apparent reason.  I was kind to several people through text and email, and I was shown not one ounce of kindness.  I felt let down, I was tired, and frankly, I was more depressed than I have been in quite awhile.  I couldn’t even make myself work out.  So I did the only thing I could do, I went to bed.  I slept until the middle of the afternoon, woke up and did some writing, and went back to bed.  I didn’t eat all day, oh except, a few chocolate chips, which helped in making me feel even worse about myself 🙂

So this morning when I woke up, I actually felt better, a little more energetic, and good thoughts, like, “I am not having another day like that…”  It lasted for a few hours, and then I felt the darkness settling in on me again.  So I sat down and looked through my gallery of pictures, which usually helps me feel better, and I wrote this poem:

I hope in the middle of an ordinary day, you’ll be blessed with some things you didn’t see coming your way.  Perhaps kindness shown by another human being.  I hope that you see mountains and streams, or so many other beautiful things.  I hope today your mind will be filled with wonder, the way it used to be when you were younger….–Amy—

And well, I still feel a little gloomy, but it helped, I got up washed my face, got my workout clothes on and did Yoga.  I know exercise isn’t a cure all, but I’m telling you, it really helped me.  I think sweating and getting your heart pumping, stretching your body, opening up your chest to expand your heart, being mindful of your breathing, well, it just makes you feel alive. And that’s exactly what I needed after a day of not feeling alive at all.

Like a lot of others I struggle with depression, and usually I can fight through it, it’s been months since I’ve had a day like yesterday, but I’m real, it happens, and sometimes I don’t defeat it, and that’s what happened yesterday, I gave in to it.  Today, I will not, I will fight like a champion, and even if there’s a dark cloud over me, I’ll look for my own sunshine, and I hope that you’ll find your own as well.

Peace & Love

Cause I’m not there yet, the battle is for sure real, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Create your own beauty….

I find that I am fascinated by what’s inside things: hearts, minds, flowers…. and how beautiful the inside of things are if we simply look a little deeper, it’s not always what we see at first glance.

I bought a little bouquet of flowers last weekend, they haven’t bloomed yet, and yes, they’re beautiful, but when they aren’t fully opened up they just look like long tubes.  But yesterday, I was feeling a bit down, so I tried to come up with some things around me that are beautiful, and when I peeked inside this tube of a flower with my macro lens and snapped a shot,  I couldn’t believe how beautiful it truly was, it just wasn’t ready to show the world yet.

My Poem: Some days just hurt, you may try to smile, but nothing seems to work.  I’ve had many of those days, and I’ve found the key, is in looking around you and creating your own beauty…-Amy-

I found that taking this picture, editing it, spending time just looking at it, and then writing about how I felt about it, was therapeutic for me.  I felt better, I smiled, I was happy at the beauty I found right inside my own house, I just hadn’t been looking hard enough.

I hope today if you are feeling blue, or just need some sunshine in your life, look around you, see that beautiful things are truly everywhere.  And if you honestly can’t find something, go outside, pick a flower, watch a snowflake, watch the rain as it puddles up, or go to the store and buy your own flower or plant, create your own beauty, and watch how beautiful you become to yourself and to those around you.

Kindness matters and so do you:)

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Hello world!

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I rarely sleep more than 4 or 5 hours, but this morning I was beyond blessed by a gift you can only receive very early in the morning!

Be mindful today of the many blessings you have, focus on the positive.

My morning quiet thoughts were these: Today, I will focus on what’s good in my life, I won’t say forever, but just today, I will not let negative thoughts ruin the small moments of joy that I’m given.

Not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…