Karma…

 

So many people talk/write about Karma…what comes around goes around.  But the truth is, if you’ve wronged someone, or yourself, and you forgive yourself, you don’t need to be worried with Karma.  I’m not saying there are no consequences to your actions, because of course there are.  But to live your life in fear because of something you or someone you love did in the past is just living your life in hell.

 And all those expectations, they’re long gone, time to dry your pretty eyes, time to forgive and move on.” -Amy-

The key is to forgive yourself.  If you can’t forgive and let yourself move on.  If you keep hating yourself because of past mistakes.  You can never trust anyone else, you can never love anyone else, you can never forgive….It all starts with you.  Let it go, forgive yourself, forgive whoever it is that hurt you, no matter the circumstances, and move on.  Love yourself, and let yourself love again.

You deserve to be happy, you deserve not to live in hell any longer.  Life is short, seek out happiness, stop seeking out the same old hurts, the same old past thoughts.  Love your life and your life will love you back.

Hope your week is awesome.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

 

 

 

 

Disappointment…

So I know it’s been awhile, glad you guys stuck it out with me.  I’ve been on a bit of a spiritual journey.  I knew I was slipping and have been trying to do some self help, self love, whatever you want to call it.  Basically digging into my soul to see how I can make myself better.

There are so many notions (ideas) that I’ve read and totally agree upon.  But this notion of learning not to expect anything from anyone else so you won’t be disappointed really is the hardest thing for me.

I think it’s in our very nature to expect certain things from other humans…we expect them to treat us with respect, dignity, and love if they are our children our spouse/lover, and when that doesn’t happen I’m not sure how we are just supposed to be okay with that.

She found herself disappointed in the notion that she shouldn’t expect anything from anyone so that she’d never find herself disappointed...” -Amy Lopez-

So here’s what I’ve come up with in my own heart/mind.  I think it’s not that we shouldn’t expect certain things, of course, it’s obvious that we do.  But I think it’s kind of like this, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”  Meaning, just because someone doesn’t react to something the way we want them to, we can’t let it devastate us.  Just because someone doesn’t love the exact same way we do, it doesn’t mean we can’t still love them.  I think it’s natural and really okay to find ourselves disappointed in other humans, and also in ourselves.

If you have a significant other, even your children, it’s a good discussion to have. Communication is key! Let me them know what you’re going through, ask them to join you on your journey of becoming a better person.  If they’re up for it, awesome.  That way, at least, when you do things that may be disappointing to the other you’ll know that you are both trying, maybe you just slipped up.  Don’t let it ruin your relationship if you truly feel they’re giving it their best.  People make mistakes, lots of mistakes, and it’s totally up to you to keep giving chances or to have enough and walk away.

It’s hard to be the one (me) that is super excited about a new journey, about becoming a better person, speaking more love instead of hate, not taking things personally, not making assumptions, and then when you feel you’re doing really great and making progress, bam! Someone important in your life slams you.  You may take it gracefully the first, second, or third time, but after that, you find yourself slipping, you can’t take anymore and then you let all that negativity bog you down, you slip back into the person you used to be.  Believe me, I know, it’s happened to me so many times I can’t count. But the good thing is, I’m realizing it, I’m mindful and aware of when it’s happening, and now it’s happening less and less, which is a positive step.

I’d love to hear your feedback, maybe some of you are struggling with the same issues, I’d love to help.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Have a beautiful week!

Your Garden….

Not sure how many of you will be able to relate to this blog post, but I suppose if it’s meant for you, then you’ll understand it…..peach daisy I’ve been struggling a bit mentally, which in consequence, is making me struggle physically as well.

Yesterday, I decided to go out and shoot nothing but weeds, ha.  And you know what I discovered, upon adjusting my focal point and length.  Weeds are beautiful, you just have to look a little closer!

“At times I feel I’m struggling, like I can’t have a beautiful garden because I can’t get rid of the weeds.  But maybe the garden is already there, and it’s not full of weeds at all, it’s simply a big field of beautiful flowers and I’m just to damn busy and stressed to even realize it.  So I adjusted my focal point and it changed what I saw, I began guarding my thoughts, and it is changing my life….” -Amy-

Hope your weekend is beautiful and you begin watching the thoughts you let yourself think.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Are you your own worst enemy….

Have you ever really thought about how you speak to yourself?

Are you praising yourself, giving yourself a pat on the back, loving yourself, looking in the mirror and being proud of who you see?

Or, like most of us, are you condemning yourself. Telling yourself that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, young enough, talented enough. Are you looking in the mirror and pointing out to yourself all your flaws and how you wish you looked better?

We don’t realize it, but we hurt ourselves far more than anyone else can ever hurt us. We don’t realize that what we say to ourselves, what we think about ourselves, that’s the most that anyone else can ever think about us.  Though it’s true another person may be saying to you, “You look beautiful today…” In your heart, if you don’t believe it, because you have said too many times to yourself, “I’m disgusting, I wish I were more pretty,” than you won’t even hear when a person gives you a compliment, you’ve already condemned yourself.

The energy that comes from within you is what others receive from you.  If you are negative towards yourself, people sense that, and it makes them negative about you.  Conversely, if you have positive energy, and you really love yourself, others will love you and want to be around you because your energy is so positive and people, especially in these times, crave positive energy.

I have come to realize one thing about myself….I need to sincerely work on this.  I am a very positive and uplifting person…but only for other people.  I have started really listening to what I say to myself, and it’s not pleasant.  I’m never happy enough with how I look.  My writing is never quite good enough, my house never clean enough, and on and on….I think I’ve become very good at putting out a “false positive energy.” I can seem like a very nice positive person, but on the inside I’m not feeling it.

So if you are struggling like me, let’s start today to really listen to ourselves.  And when you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, stop for a moment, change your attitude and you will eventually change your behavior.  I don’t think this will be any small feet.  I think we’ve trained our brains from childhood to think the way we do, maybe we were raised with over bearing parents, maybe a love in our life, hurt us so deeply that we began to self-doubt ourselves.  But whatever it is that started this awful trend in ourselves, I know one thing for sure, we can break the cycle.

So: Do you ever realize the way you speak to yourself?  Maybe you ought to listen….

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Count the Sunrises…..

“Life goes by so fast, have you ever counted the sunrises that have passed?” -Amy-

Sometimes I complain because I don’t feel like I ever get enough sleep, but this morning I was so grateful that I’m an early riser.  I really hate to miss a sunrise, especially one like this morning.

I’m one that is very nostalgic,  always thinking about my favorite moments, things that remind me of those moments, smells, sights, tastes, etc.  So I do tend to count the days, weeks, months that it’s been since an important event has happened.  I miss that moment, I think about it, and I try to think of it fondly, not in a sad way, and then, I usually feel better about it.

I hope you take this weekend to remember some of the most fond memories you have, but most importantly to make some new memories that years from now, you’ll think back on and remember with love.

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

When darkness settles in…..

So just gonna be super vulnerable and honest here, cause my writing is as much therapy for myself, as it is also, the hope that I’m providing for you.  Yesterday, I really struggled.  It went from 75 degrees and sunny to rainy, gloomy and low 40’s. I had people let me down that I was really counting on, I had a loved one yell at me, and I do mean yell, for no apparent reason.  I was kind to several people through text and email, and I was shown not one ounce of kindness.  I felt let down, I was tired, and frankly, I was more depressed than I have been in quite awhile.  I couldn’t even make myself work out.  So I did the only thing I could do, I went to bed.  I slept until the middle of the afternoon, woke up and did some writing, and went back to bed.  I didn’t eat all day, oh except, a few chocolate chips, which helped in making me feel even worse about myself 🙂

So this morning when I woke up, I actually felt better, a little more energetic, and good thoughts, like, “I am not having another day like that…”  It lasted for a few hours, and then I felt the darkness settling in on me again.  So I sat down and looked through my gallery of pictures, which usually helps me feel better, and I wrote this poem:

I hope in the middle of an ordinary day, you’ll be blessed with some things you didn’t see coming your way.  Perhaps kindness shown by another human being.  I hope that you see mountains and streams, or so many other beautiful things.  I hope today your mind will be filled with wonder, the way it used to be when you were younger….–Amy—

And well, I still feel a little gloomy, but it helped, I got up washed my face, got my workout clothes on and did Yoga.  I know exercise isn’t a cure all, but I’m telling you, it really helped me.  I think sweating and getting your heart pumping, stretching your body, opening up your chest to expand your heart, being mindful of your breathing, well, it just makes you feel alive. And that’s exactly what I needed after a day of not feeling alive at all.

Like a lot of others I struggle with depression, and usually I can fight through it, it’s been months since I’ve had a day like yesterday, but I’m real, it happens, and sometimes I don’t defeat it, and that’s what happened yesterday, I gave in to it.  Today, I will not, I will fight like a champion, and even if there’s a dark cloud over me, I’ll look for my own sunshine, and I hope that you’ll find your own as well.

Peace & Love

Cause I’m not there yet, the battle is for sure real, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Create your own beauty….

I find that I am fascinated by what’s inside things: hearts, minds, flowers…. and how beautiful the inside of things are if we simply look a little deeper, it’s not always what we see at first glance.

I bought a little bouquet of flowers last weekend, they haven’t bloomed yet, and yes, they’re beautiful, but when they aren’t fully opened up they just look like long tubes.  But yesterday, I was feeling a bit down, so I tried to come up with some things around me that are beautiful, and when I peeked inside this tube of a flower with my macro lens and snapped a shot,  I couldn’t believe how beautiful it truly was, it just wasn’t ready to show the world yet.

My Poem: Some days just hurt, you may try to smile, but nothing seems to work.  I’ve had many of those days, and I’ve found the key, is in looking around you and creating your own beauty…-Amy-

I found that taking this picture, editing it, spending time just looking at it, and then writing about how I felt about it, was therapeutic for me.  I felt better, I smiled, I was happy at the beauty I found right inside my own house, I just hadn’t been looking hard enough.

I hope today if you are feeling blue, or just need some sunshine in your life, look around you, see that beautiful things are truly everywhere.  And if you honestly can’t find something, go outside, pick a flower, watch a snowflake, watch the rain as it puddles up, or go to the store and buy your own flower or plant, create your own beauty, and watch how beautiful you become to yourself and to those around you.

Kindness matters and so do you:)

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

 

Hello world!

Sometimes I get so frustrated because I rarely sleep more than 4 or 5 hours, but this morning I was beyond blessed by a gift you can only receive very early in the morning!

Be mindful today of the many blessings you have, focus on the positive.

My morning quiet thoughts were these: Today, I will focus on what’s good in my life, I won’t say forever, but just today, I will not let negative thoughts ruin the small moments of joy that I’m given.

Not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…