Category: Mental Health

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The Situation….

What’s your situation….

Recently I have found myself lost in a situation that I can’t quite name because I’m unsure of what the situation actually is.  I think it’s a dilemma that many of us face throughout our lives.  However, this is the first time that it has taken such a toll on me.

See the situation for what it is…

I believe the first step to solving this problem is to see the situation for what it is, I know, I know, this is hard to do when you don’t know what the situation is.  However, if you sit down and write out exactly what’s going on you may find it easier to understand it, possibly even give it a name.

I have found myself in a position where I’m really unsure of my place in my own life. For 31 years my life has been centered around caring for children, running my business, basically taking care of everyone else.  Suddenly and quite frankly without warning, my life has been turned upside down.

My grandfather passing away and grandmother needing help called me out of town to care for both of them for a short time and never did I imagine the impact this would take.  I’ve seen death before, but this time it has really hit me hard.  There is a lot of guilt that I didn’t do enough, a lot of guilt that I couldn’t help my grandmother enough, and upon returning to my regular life I found that it is no longer my regular life. Things changed, maybe I was the cause of those changes, maybe I wasn’t, but whatever the case I found myself in a situation that I couldn’t understand nor give a name to. My place and importance to others feels diminished and I’m left at age 50 wondering what’s next for me, what is my role, what is my position, where do I go from here. A situation that has caused me a lot of pain and probably placed me far too deep in thought.

Now Handle the Situation

So this morning I got up and wrote down exactly what I think is happening and why and whether these things are true for anyone else, they’re certainly true for me.  I have named my situation, “The Highway of Life, and the Dangerous Curves I have to Maneuver.” I call them dangerous curves because it is dangerous to approach these curves without caution.  They have definitely thrown me for a loop and quite frankly I’ve been spiraling out of control. However, now that I’ve slowed down and can approach the curves a little more cautiously I’ve found that I can maneuver them without crashing.  It doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything, it means I’m handling it without slipping off the side of the road and bounding down a hill.

Life is often cruel and unkind, especially to the empaths that feel and think too much.

    situation

I have found that learning new things is very helpful.  Life is constantly changing and if you don’t learn to change with it, you’ll be left behind. So set some new goals, keep them to yourself, and then go out and smash them.  Try some new things, be kind to yourself. Realize life is what you make it, and though it’s painful, sometimes it’s just life and you need to adjust, what other choice do we have?  We’re all growing older, we’re all changing, this is the world we live in.  So name your situation and then change it to your benefit.

Cause I’m definitely not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

My book, Soon Enuff, is on sale on Amazon through Thanksgiving.  If you haven’t picked up your copy yet, now is a great time.

 

 

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Effects of Stress

Letting go of Stress

I think we all know and understand that the research on stress has shown it to be lethal to our health.  Stress causes hormones to be released , namely adrenaline and cortisol.  When you live in a constant state of stress this can be disastrous to your mind and body. But, this is not the only problem….

Effects of not letting the stressor go

Research is now showing that even years later simply re-living the past stress causes the exact same complications to your body as it did the when the stress initially happened! So for people like me, the over thinkers, we’re literally killing ourselves over and over just by re-playing the scene out, even months and years later.  When we don’t learn to let go, it just doesn’t play mind games with our emotions, it literally is killing you.

Your psychology makes your biology…..it’s true my friends!

“You’ll never let go if you keep

allowing your mind to take you back…”

Amy Lopez

This is a tough one for sure, and one that I haven’t mastered, but I continually work on living in the present, it’s the only way to train your mind not to dwell in the past.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

There are 3 days left to purchase my book, Soon Enuff at the Fall Sale Price of $9.99.  It’s available worldwide on Amazon or on my Etsy Shop at https://www.etsy.com/shops/LilBitsofMeandPoetry

 

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Adaptability

The Importance of Adaptability

Adaptability can best be described as remaining open to change, able to accept the unknown, freedom from learned responses.

Did you know meeting change with resilience instead of bitterness can actually extend your life?  The world is harsh, however, if you can learn to bend a little instead of being stiff and breaking, if you can learn to enjoy and be happy with whatever comes, it changes your whole biology.  Because you see our psychology actually dictates our biology.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I respond creatively to change?

Am I free from anxiety?

Do I continually create?

Do I continue to learn new things?

Responding creatively to change is when something out of the ordinary comes up, you can look at it and think of positive ways to make it work out.  You don’t freak out and panic, but you embrace it with the attitude of, “Great, something new, how can we make this work to our advantage.”

Free from anxiety.  Anxiety is a psychological response that causes your biology to change.  When you send your body into panic mode all kinds of things start happening.  Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure goes up, causing stress on the heart often leading to coronary events if not treated.  Anxiety can suppress your immune system, cause all kinds of digestive disorders, it can also lead to depression and dementia. All things which make us age.

Continuing to create.  What is it you love?  Are you a writer, if so continue to write.  Artist, fishing, hiking, climbing, you get it.  Stop listening to the learned responses such as, “I’m getting older, I probably shouldn’t hike that far,” or “Climbing is too dangerous for a person my age,” or “No one wants to read something an older person is writing,” or “I can’t bounce back like I used to,” and instead you just keep living, guess what, you keep living.

Have you ever seen 80 year olds still out hiking?  I have! A couple summers ago we were hiking a 2,000 foot incline in only 2 miles at Crater Lake.  It was very difficult for me despite the fact I’d been hiking for several years.  Much to my surprise a very elderly couple blew past me.  When I got to the top they smiled and we started a conversation.  I asked how old they were, the wife was 79 and the husband 83!  Do you think they listened to the voices saying, “You probably should stop doing that you’re too old?”  Absolutely not!  They had been avid explorers their whole lives and just never thought to slow down, and guess what, their bodies never gave them a reason to, because their psychology controlled their biology.

Continuing to learn new things can be easy as reading new books, taking a different route, playing games, traveling to new places, learning about the weather where your kids live.  The idea here is you never stop using your brain.  You don’t sit sedentary in front of your TV mindlessly watching the same things day in and day out.  By learning new things you allow the brain to compensate for natural tissue loss.  Learning new things stimulates the neurons in the brain which form new neuron pathways and allows electrical impulses to travel faster.

Can you learn to Adapt

“Perhaps you need to learn to let go of the notion

that things could have been different..

they weren’t.”

–Amy Lopez–

I, like many others have suffered with anxiety.  I used to really panic when my plan didn’t work out.  When faced with the prospect of a new change, I would typically revert back to the comfort of just staying complacent.  Change is scary, especially when it’s not expected.  The loss of a job, a spouse leaving, a loved one dying, a flood, a hurricane, tornado, etc.  These things all happen.  But how can we learn to adapt instead of stress?

A little stress is obviously natural in any of the above circumstances.  It’s when the stress doesn’t go away that we’re in trouble.

Things I’ve found that have relieved my anxiety and allowed me to live a happier healthier life are:  meditation, exercise, a healthy diet, sleep, and therapy.

When you take a little time to sit quietly with yourself you can go over things that are happening and how you’ll handle them, before they happen.  You know you’re about to face an ugly day at the lawyers office, or you have to clean up after a natural disaster, etc.  When you breath deeply especially sighing out the negativity you’ll find it’s much easier to face.  You know you have to face it, why not face it the best way possible.  Go in with a smile, let’s get this done, how can we make something positive out of it.

Daily exercise has been proven to relieve stress, it relieves tension, improves sleep and elevates your mood and self esteem.  Combine this with eating a healthy diet, stay away from unnatural foods, and you’ll improve not only your physical body but your mental one as well.

I’m one of those people that struggles to get 8-9 hours of sleep.  However, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic with around 7.  I do rest during the day, usually napping for about 20-30 minutes.  I have found that when I eat lighter at night, usually I don’t eat past 4:00 unless it’s a handful of nuts or a little fruit, I sleep much better.  If you struggle with sleep, try black out curtains, ear plugs, or an app that plays sleepy time noise such as the ocean waves or water trickling.  Getting adequate sleep re-charges your brain, improving your focus, concentration and mood.  Getting adequate sleep alone can reduce stress and anxiety.  If you still struggle, seek help from a therapist.

I’m a Certified Life Coach and as a Life Coach I can tell you that talking to someone about your stress and anxiety can literally save your life.  I have a great Coach that has helped me figure out ways to change my life to make it less stressful, and also just laughed with me through some very tough situations.  If you need someone to talk to seek out a therapist or life coach or even just a sister, brother, friend that will understand and hold your confidence.

You know aging is a natural process, but it literally takes the organs around 103 years to start breaking down naturally.  That means that everything else isn’t natural.  Try to remember that the oldest and healthiest living people say these three words a lot: Happy, Satisfied and Enjoyable.  Because our psychology dictates our biology.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

You can find me on FB @lilbitsofme22  IG @lilbitsofme22 Twitter @amylo_5

You can also reach me by email if you’d like to discuss any of the topics from this blog

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Editing Day

Sunday is editing day

On Sunday mornings I like to sit in silence with my coffee and think back on my week.  Not to punish myself but to see what changes I want to make to make the new week better.

It’s always better to edit

The same way you wouldn’t leave a manuscript unedited, it just makes sense to make the necessary edits to your life.  You see, Sunday is like an opportunity to choose to evolve or repeat.  Again, this isn’t to look back and punish yourself, but just like editing your writing, you look over it again to make sure you’re getting things right.

To edit is to evolve

Honestly, I think a little of both, evolving and repeating is okay.  You want to evolve past the mistakes, change what you can, and repeat the good things that made your soul happy.

Wishing you a beautiful Sunday and a happy and healthy new week ahead.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

You can find my new book, Soon Enuff, worldwide on Amazon or the link in my Facebook bio @lilbitsofme22 or on Instagran @lilbitsofme22

 

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Life Changes

How to make a change

Wondering how to begin changing your life for the better? Less stress, less worry, more peace in your heart and soul.  It all starts with your morning….

Be mindful of how you spend your mornings. 

What you read or write, who you spend it with, 

this all produces energy, and only you

choose what type of energy you send out…

–Amy Lopez–

 

The necessary changes

How I spend my mornings, my space, whether inside or out, is of course going to be different then yours.  The point is though, when you wake up in the morning, it’s the most important time of the day to frame your mind with positive and energetic thoughts.

I like to wake up early because I really treasure spending my mornings alone.  I either make my coffee and sit outside on my porch or I sit inside in my comfy recliner.  I usually sit in thought (meditation) for a few moments, just clearing my mind, thinking of nothing at all.  When thoughts creep in of my busy day ahead, I try to push them away telling myself, “Plenty of time for that later.”  Then I usually do some writing, well, a lot of writing.  Then I put my pen down and pick up a book.

What I read in the morning is different then what I read later in the day.  My morning books are usually “self help” or books on Yoga.  Currently I’m reading, “Ageless Body Timeless Mind,” by Deepok Chopra and “Light on Yoga,” by B.K.S. Iyengar.  I believe what I fill my mind with early in the morning should be positivity.  Things to help de-stress and de-clutter.  Things that help me deal with anxiety, etc.

When I say I get up early, I mean early….I’m usually up a little before the sunrise.  I know this isn’t ideal for everyone, and of course I’m not promoting not getting enough sleep because I know how very important that is.  But for me personally, I need about two hours of morning alone time. I find that when I don’t get that, I tend to get more anxious and stressed, even when it isn’t really warranted, it’s just me.

Does the morning routine really make a change

I’ve had this morning routine for about two years and I can’t tell you the impact it’s had on my life.

Before, when I got up, rushed to make my coffee, immediately started my workout or started working, I was very “wound up.” By that I mean, tense, stressed and anxious.  I have suffered with anxiety attacks for about ten years, and I’ve found that rushing my morning only adds to the anxiety.

Since I’ve started being very mindful, and I suppose some would say, “selfish” morning routine I’ve been a much calmer person.  I don’t have near as many anxiety attacks because in my morning routine I practice breathing exercises to help me deal with stress, so that when it starts coming on, I’m prepared to deal with it instead of panicking.

I’m a much happier and easy going person.  I find that spending time alone in the morning has helped me realize what’s most important in life, the things I need to concentrate on and the things I need to let go of.  The things I can change and control, and the things I have no control of.  It’s helped me be more aware of how I speak to others, because I’ve learned to sit with myself in silence and speak kindly to myself.

If you don’t spend any quiet and alone time, how can you ever answer so many of life’s toughest questions?  If you’re in a constant rush to do something or be somewhere, is it any wonder that your health is declining? That your aging beyond your years?

Take it slower, even if you only have a few minutes.  Wake up a little earlier, even if it’s only fifteen minutes.  Stop rushing your morning.  See how you feel and let me know how it’s going in comment 🙂

Cause I’m not there yet but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

My book, “Soon Enuff” is now available worldwide on Amazon or the link on my IG @lilbitsofme22 or on FB @lilbitsofme22

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness…is it possible

We’ve all done things we think are just not forgivable.  We continually seek the approval and forgiveness of others, when in reality, what we yearn for is a sense that we are forgiven, and I believe that can only come from within.  For what good is it for another to tell us they’ve forgiven us if we still harbor the “sin” within ourselves….

     “She lives with sins she thinks are unforgivable.

She’s been trying for years to forget that love that remains unforgettable.

She judges herself too hard, her struggle is real.

On days she is strong, she trains her soul not to feel.

But some nights she loses the battle for the heart has it’s own will…”

–Amy Lopez–

The Forgiveness Process

You may be wondering, “So how do I begin the forgiveness process?”  I believe you start with some soul searching.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I truly sorry for whatever it is.

2. Would I do it again.

3. Do I really want to put this transgression behind me.

4. Have I done everything I possibly can to make amends to the person/thing I hurt with this transgression.

So if in answer to number 1, if you are truly sorry for whatever it is you’ve done, then you should be able to easily answer number 2, no I would not do it again.  And then you’ve got to set an intention with yourself.  If this thing, whatever it is, were to come up again in the future, I will be strong enough to turn away from it because I know the pain it caused others and myself and I am not willing to go through that again.  In answer to number 3, if you want the transgression behind you then you’ve got to forgive yourself.  You’ve got to realize everyone makes mistakes, and no matter how great the mistake was, you understand it, you’ve no doubt paid for it dearly and it’s time to let it go.  For awhile you may need to wake each morning and set an intention for yourself, “Today I will feel relief for I know I am forgiven, I am a new person.” When the thoughts of guilt arise, which they will, try to remember this intention and repeat it to yourself, you are forgiven, I forgive myself, I’ve paid enough. And in response to the last question, number 4, if you have done all you can to make amends, then rest assured there is nothing more you can do.  It is now up to the other party to do with it what they will.  You do not have to continue paying.  If you cannot be around the person you have asked forgiveness from without feeling guilty, or without them reminding you of your wrong doings, then it may be necessary to not be around them for awhile.  Don’t continue to punish yourself with their presence but do be sympathetic to the fact you hurt them.

Forgiveness equals peace

If there’s one thing that will keep your soul unsettled it’s carrying around the past.  It’s too heavy and you’ve got to lay it down.  This will take some deep thinking, some meditation, some prayer, some real work, but it is possible.  If you want peace in your life my friends, forgive yourself.…

The poem above is from my new poetry book, “Soon Enuff.” It’s now available worldwide on Amazon or you may purchase it from the link in my bio on Instagram @lilbitsofme22

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

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Soon Enuff….

Soon Enuff

I’m so excited to reveal the cover of my soon to be released book, Soon Enuff.

Soon Enuff

Miriam Webster Definition:  Soon Enough: No later than needed, in time, shortly, in a little while.

A Poets Definition: Soon Enuff: A time that is coming but is unknown, a made up time, a moment you hope is coming but that very possibly may never come.

Soon Enuff

This is a book of beautiful photography and poetry.  It’s a labor of love that I’ve been working on for about four years.  I’m so very excited to share this cover with you and hope you enjoy it.

I am doing a special giveaway today through Sunday.  If you subscribe via email to my blog I will mail you five of my favorite signed poems  from my book plus a few little extra gifts.

When you subscribe you’ll receive updates whenever I post something new 🙂

Keep checking back this week, I’ll be releasing when Soon Enuff goes live on Amazon and I’ll be having some super cool giveaways in celebration of that.

Have a great rest of your week!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps…..Soon Enuff

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The Moon & Me

Full Moon impact on Me

About a week ago I began feeling very distant from everyone, like perhaps I was invisible, and at times, I wish I actually was.  My thoughts become a bit erratic, and I wasn’t making much sense to anyone, except myself.  And I thought to myself, “Okay, what’s going on with you Amy?”

After checking my horoscope I realized how quickly the full moon/strawberry moon was approaching, and I knew full well what was up with me.  I think once you know what’s possibly causing your emotions to fluctuate it’s much easier to control them, or at least to try to calm them down a bit.

Full Moon Poetry

I know I’m often distant

and my thoughts are rarely clear

and like the moon you can’t always see me

but I promise you I’m here….

–Amy–

 

Wishing you a beautiful week!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Love & Peace, Amy