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Tools of Choice

How do you choose

Contrary to popular belief, a choice is not a thing, it’s not a noun. A choice is an action you take, a verb. Options are things. And while we can’t always choose all our options, we are the only one that can choose which option to take.

In our society it seems that more means better. Work more hours, volunteer more, make more, see more, do more, always more. The problem is, often the more we do, the less we do. What I mean here is, you can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything. The more you push yourself in one hundred directions, the less you end up doing. You can only give so much of yourself to any one given project. If you’re working on 100 things then you’re only going to be giving 10 percent of yourself to each of those things.

So what tools do we have to help us with the plethora of options we’re given each day? How do we know we are making the right choices? (taking the right actions.) Here’s a 3 tools I have learned that help me with making life choices:

*Be Present (mindful)

When you are living in the present moment and are presented with an option you are more aware of what choice needs to be made. You aren’t concerned with how something turned out in the past, or worried about what this option may or may not turn out to be in the future. You are only aware of what choice you should make for the moment you’re in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think ahead, it means you’re primary focus is on what action you need to take right now, your secondary focus is how will this action affect something in the future.

*Practice Discernment

The problem is we are presented with so many things each day. Some that are easy to discern, we can plainly see they aren’t worth our time. However, what about when we’re presented with several good or great options? We need some real discernment to know when to say no to a good opportunity. What are some questions you can think of to practice discernment? For me, I try to ask myself, “Would this option be vital to my business or my way of life.” Even if it’s a great option, it may not be a vital option.

*Give & Take

Try to remember there is a give & take for every option. If you are unaware of this you’re going to find yourself in some trouble by way of stress. You’ll be over worked, agitated, and most likely you’ll find you’re not doing a very good job. The key is to ask yourself this questions, “If I take on this project/option what will I need to give up to make it work?” Because the thing is, you can do anything you want to, but you cannot do it everything. So when we take on something new, we need to realize something else has got to go or be put on hold for awhile.

If you’d like a great book to read on this subject, “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown is amazing!!

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy Lopez

I have a live 60-90 minute workshop coming on January 25th! Would love to have you join me. For $40 I’ll be giving you invaluable tools to “Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention.“

You may register here :

https://calendly.com/grounded-inthe-present/multiply-healthy-habits-with-intention

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Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention

Guess what peeps!! I’m so, so excited to be bringing you a live 60-90 minute workshop on how to Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention!

Here’s what we’ll be discussing:

Do Manifestations work

Are affirmations good tools for multiplying healthy habits

Does ego really sabotage productivity

Can mindfulness aid health/healing

New to the practice of mindfulness? There is no better time than now to begin. The health benefits are truly transformational.

At the end of the workshop you’re going to have some invaluable tools at your fingertips!

*Manifestations for Health/Healing

*3 Affirmations to put into practice for Multipling Healthy Habits

*Tools to help you stop ego from sabotaging your progress

*Mindfulness techniques for your physical well being

Hope to see you there!

Oh, and just because you’re reading this I’m offering a $10 Early Bird Discount if you register by January 15th!

To register click the link below 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ffb908774631bcfc57f1dff

Cause we’re not there yet…but perhaps, Soon Enuff!

XO,

Amy

I am a teacher of Presence and a Life Coach with Certifications in Wellness & Happiness Therapy.

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Are you Hiding

Are you hiding the real you? Do you know why?

When you have an aversion for the old you it makes it difficult, actually impossible, to love the new version of yourself. We can’t just cut that part out and throw it away, as much as we may like to. Who we were in the past, decisions we made, experiences we had, they are part of us. But don’t mistake this….. they are not who we are.

Try to look back on your past, good or bad, and I think you’ll realize there were some things that you simply didn’t know better. And some things you did, and you made bad choices. It’s part of life. Now is the time to forgive yourself. Maybe you need to ask forgiveness from others. Maybe you already have, and they choose not to forgive. That’s okay, that’s for them to figure out. Do what you need to do to let go and move forward.

Cause here’s the thing, this new version of you, the awakened version, the more caring, kind and loving version, well, it needs you to show up for it everyday! It needs you to live present and stop spending your time in the past.

I know we’re not there yet….but if we keep trying, perhaps we will be Soon Enuff…

Sincerely,

Amy

Hey guys, I hope you’ll check out my linktr.ee for access to my books, a fun new year challenge, and hey, maybe book an appointment with me to get this year off to a great start!!

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

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Finding your authentic self

Want to find yourself? You’re going to have to get rid of your personal shit.

So it’s the last days of December and almost the end of what some may call the worst year of their lives. But most importantly….it’s a new day, a brand new week, and the start of a whole new year.

The perfect time to let go of your personal shit. Your past pain, memories that cause you to replay unhealthy stories. You see, to find the real you, you’re going to need to shovel the shit off yourself.

Start today! Create your own beautiful experiences, do it your way, in each and every present moment!

You see, I’m not there yet. But like all of you, I hope to be, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy

I have a new and fun challenge starting for the new year. “How to be a more Present You in 2021.” To join me just click the link below:

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

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Chaos to Clarity

You never notice it while you’re in the middle of it, but often it is chaos that leads us to clarity.

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where everything was good. Everything was clear, there were were no bad times. Unfortunately that is not the life we live. Life is full of polarities.

I believe that while it is not easy, it is a necessary part of life to learn to navigate the tough times. To learn to keep composure even in the most difficult of circumstances. To find mental clarity even when your mind is bombarded with chaotic thoughts.

To do this you’ll need to learn to stay present. To be aware and mindful of your circumstances. To distinguish what is a life situation and what is life.

If you’d like to learn these concepts sign up for my free 10 day challenge to “Becoming a More Present You in 2021.”

Just click on the link below! Hope you’ll join me on this journey!

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5fd61e12716e9e688e07cb70

Cause I’m not there yet…..but perhaps, Soon Enuff!!

Live Present,

Amy XO

If you’d like more in depth coaching I have a few spots remaining for one on one sessions. There are options for 30 or 60 minutes. You can click the link below to set up a time. Hope to see you soon 🙂

My Linktree:https://linktr.ee/AmyLopez

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Which role are you playing this week

Ready or not, it’s Monday! So which role will you be playing this week?

Maybe you’re a mother, step mother, girlfriend, grandmother, boss, co-worker, the list goes on and on. We all have those titles, roles that society and history have placed on us. We all have a responsibility to others to fulfill those roles. But the titles aren’t who you are, not deep down. But deep down do you even know who your true authentic self is?

Sometimes it’s tough to know. So many expectations are put on us even as children. We grow comfortable with titles, “I”m a mother.” But who are you beyond that? Who are you when the kids grow up?

To know your true self you have to dig a little deeper. You have to be present in each moment you live. You have to realize that you are the one doing the watching. You are the one seeing yourself as the mother. You are the one labeling yourself as the girlfriend, boss, co-worker. You are that voice in the back ground. And to hear her, to hear the authentic you, you need to be quiet.

Try waking up and sitting with yourself, maybe over coffee or tea. Close down your thinking by taking a few deep breaths. Don’t think about what you have to do today, what role you have to play, don’t think at all. Just concentrate on your breathing. When thoughts come in, just acknowledge them and let them pass through, you’ll deal with them soon enuff.

What I like to do is be peaceful to myself and my brain. Don’t start bombarding it with demands and stressors. Perhaps you’ll need to wake up a bit early to have this private time, or maybe you have a special room you can sit in quiet for a few moments without distractions. I know it can be a challenge, but it is so worth it to your mental clarity.

We give so much of ourselves to others, can’t we give just a few moments every morning to ourselves. You see, she’s always been there, you’re true authentic self, you just lost her for a long while. It’s time to call her back home.

Look, I’m not there yet, maybe you aren’t either, but perhaps…..Soon Enuff.

PS: Hey friends, I’m putting together a 10 day free challenge to “A more present you in 2021.” If you’d like to join me, I’ll teach you some invaluable things I wish I’d known at the start of my journey to live more present and more fulfilled. Just click the link below 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5fd61e12716e9e688e07cb70

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A Pause in Normality….

A New Normal

As I reflected on all that’s been going on I started to realize that Covid-19, as awful as it is, has also brought some much needed light to a lot of things that were already happening. We’ve just been too busy or blind, or whatever you want to call it to see it before now.

I do not want, in any way, to minimize how awful this virus is, but I do want to bring a positive light to this pandemic, as this truly is an opportunity to change the way we move forward from here. What will it look like as states start to “re-open?” Will we continue down the road we’ve been on, or will we look at what’s not working and do our best to make a change?

Today as I was scrolling through social media I came upon a post that said something to this effect: “If I see one more person talking about how they’re growing a garden, or making their own baby food or making their own dog food or learning to cook or sew, etc. I’m going to delete them.”  It occurred to me that there is a battle of sorts between who wants to get back to their “normal lives” and those, like myself, who realize, that “normal” was not working, and we are seeking a “new normal.”

What is Normal

This virus has brought to light the control that the government has over us all.  They have mandated that we cannot leave our homes unless it is for “essential” things.  The thing is, who are they to decide what is essential?  I can tell you that going to fast food restaurants is not essential for me.  But you know what is….. yoga class for my mental and physical well being.  Being able to see my Physical Therapist, since I had surgery just 3 months ago.  Talking one on one with my therapist. All these things weren’t even of any value to My President.  This was a real eye opener for me.

Back in October of 2019 my grandfather passed away and I have been in deep contemplation over the process ever since.  Long before this virus we were already tossing our grandparents and parents into nursing homes or assisted living homes because we are too busy to take care of them or because we simply cannot stand the process of aging and want to hide it away as much as we can.  Now with Covid-19 it is shedding light on how dire the situation actually is.  We have locked the elderly away even further, allowing no visitors.  The caretakers are wearing masks and gloves and there is little to no interaction with the patients.  Mind you, like my grandmother, some are paying 5,000 a month to live like this.  I have asked myself at what point do I decide it’s “safe enough” to go and visit her or try to bring her home with me.  And I wonder what price we are putting on death? My grandmother is 88 years old and when I asked her about it, she said she would give anything for a visit from family.  Someone to just watch TV or read or play a game with her.  She would rather us bring Covid-19 to her, which would most likely kill her. Because as she stated, “The life I”m living is worse than death.”

Another thing Covid-19 has brought to light is this whole social distancing thing.  Are you kidding? We’ve already been social distancing.  How many times do you see families out in public, each on their cell phones? How many parents are having to work 60-80 hours a week and not spending any time with their own children? Social distancing isn’t new, but it is definitely something I don’t want to see increased as part of a “new normal.”

Covid-19 has brought more light on “sanitizing” as well.  For years scientists have been saying that in order to fight off viruses we need to be introduced to a certain amount of bacteria.  Yet for years we’ve been saturating our lives with sanitizers.  Kids no longer play outside without rubbing on hand sanitizer, let alone play with one another.  Our immune systems can only function by interacting with all life and if we never allow any bacteria to be introduced into our life we can’t fight viruses off.  My fear is that we’ll continue to build on this and the new normal will be wearing masks anytime we leave our homes, only furthering our inability to introduce good/bad bacteria to our bodies.

If you think that “normal” was working and that things have been improving for our planet I’d like you do to some research. The obesity rate in the U.S. has risen from 35.7 in 2010 to a whopping 42.4% in 2019.  Suicide has increased 35%  and is now the 10th leading cause of death….10th!!  1 in 6 Americans are now prescribed some type of anti-depressant medication.  Over 11 million children live in “food insecure” homes. 60,000 families with children are homeless on any given night in the U.S. This isn’t a normal we should be proud of, this is a normal we should be leaving behind.

I think it’s awesome some of the things that have been done to help the world right now.  Celebrities coming out with very cool challenges to raise money for Covid-19 relief, government getting a few grants and unemployment out there, (though it is far too little help in my opinion.) But the thing is the majority of these problems were here before Covid-19. Children going hungry, homelessness, our elderly, farming in America, the fast food industry, global crisis, etc. These things were there before, they just aren’t talked about.  We don’t see a daily briefing on all these things, therefore we tend to remain blind to them.  I hope that this pandemic has opened your eyes as it has mine, and that we can move forward and keep the efforts to help heal the earth and each other going and not just stop and become complacent once again after the “all clear alarm” has been sound.

A New Normal

It’s very difficult to wade through these muddy waters.  We don’t really know who or what to believe.  But I implore you, before we all just get “back to normal” let’s take this pause in normality to make new decisions.  We don’t have to remain stuck in old beliefs. This is a time we need to broaden our thinking, seek out answers, find a more sustainable life for ourselves, our families and our communities.

I would love to see your new ideas: Your gardens, your recipes for healthy eating, your exercise routines, your ideas for a better way of life. Your ideas on how to help your own families your own communities.  It’s impossible to save the whole world.  When you look at it on that big of a scope it’s too hard to even fathom.  However, if you start with yourself, your own home, your own kids, your own pets, your own health, your own community or neighborhood, that’s where we can all make a difference.  And once we each start to make a difference, that’s when we create a new and better world.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my grand children or great grand children to wonder what a hand shake meant or what a hug felt like.  I want us all to be healthy, healthy enough to fight off these diseases that are undoubtedly going to continue to come.  And that all starts at home. If the fast food industry is your kitchen, please, please, look at your own health, especially what you’re feeding your body and then help others learn what you are learning.  How else can we show compassion for each other?  How else can we help each other become better?

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

I am a Certified Master Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse Recovery.

I am a published author.  My poetry book, “Soon Enuff” can be found worldwide on Amazon.

Subscribe to my blog to receive updates via email @[email protected]

**A Personal Normal Note

My family has taken this time to learn how to build three raised gardens.  We will be able to grow enough vegetables to sustain us through the summer and probably through most of the winter.  We are learning to cook healthy vegan meals, that make us feel so much better.  We are learning about what types of foods can heal us without prescription medication.  It’s important for us to look into the nursing home situation a lot more in depth.  It has become important for us to look into the kids that are going hungry in our area and see what we can do about it.  These are the types of things I want to move forward with as part of my new normal.  Not because it will make my life immediately better or that I’ll see a profound change, but because for us, this is what’s important. I am not trying to “toot my own horn,” I’m sharing with you because I want you to share with me.

 

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Mindful Living

Becoming Mindful of your thoughts

Seems the more we can’t control something, the more we realize it’s really out of our hands, the more we think about it.

Tips for a mindful practice

I find that it helps during these times if I sit quietly and just ask myself what is really true.  Sometimes it helps if I picture myself as a third person, looking in from the outside at the situation. And most of the time, well, really, all the time, the thoughts that are running through my head simply aren’t accurate or true.

Try to stay present, be mindful of what you’re thinking. Cause the truth is, if it’s out of your hands, then it shouldn’t be weighing so heavily on your mind. Let it go, come on, you can do it….

Peace & Love,

Amy

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

I am a published author of, “Soon Enuff,” available and on sale this week worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse.

You may reach me via email @ [email protected]

Please like and subscribe to my blog to receive updates, thanks guys!! 🙂

 

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Be All In

How to be all in

Let me start with my own story….so I’ve been working quite awhile on getting out of my own head.  Trying to stop living in my thoughts, in my stories, and just trying to stay present and deal with the truth in every moment.

I’ve been healing from a recent surgery and pretty frustrated frankly with my surgeon and not getting the answers that I’ve been looking for.  So I made an appointment with my general Dr. hoping to get some clarity.  I’ve known I’ve gained some weight after the operation, which has been upsetting because I eat a pretty healthy vegetarian diet but haven’t been able to exercise like for six weeks, however, I hadn’t actually weighed myself.  Upon getting to the Dr. office I stepped on the scale to discover I’ve gained 22 pounds in six weeks since surgery. The Dr. discussed the possibility of what inflammation was doing to my body, some possible kidney issues, etc. but honestly I didn’t hear much of what she was saying.  You see, I immediately went into my head and started hearing the voices from years and years past talking about beautiful bodies, slim figures, etc.  I heard voices and felt past pain from arguments about my weight, hurtful comments about not being in good enough shape or sexually attractive.  All of it, and when I say all of it, I’m talking 20-30 years of stories all dealing with weight issues came rushing in and I immediately took it to heart.  My unhappiness was heavy on my chest.

Are you in

I tried desperately to bring my attention back to my Dr. and to discuss possible reasons for what I was going through, both physically and mentally.  As I left her office and walked down to the lab I started crying.  And as I sat in the chair, I started asking myself, what was going on, what was I feeling.  My stomach was hurting, my heart was aching, and then I thought, “Ok, so what’s really going on, outside the story, what’s really the truth here?” And you know, as soon, as I got my mind quiet and left the story spinning, I realized the truth was I had come to get some answers. My health has been on a roller coaster.  There’s nothing I’m doing that’s causing this weight gain. No one has said anything hateful to me or been unpleasant at all.  I’m actually proud of myself for the way I’ve dealt with this blow to my health.  I just need answers, I need to be my own advocate, I need to deal with what’s happening right now.

Is it easy to be in the moment

No, it wasn’t easy and it didn’t come naturally.  In fact, the remainder of the day I had to repeatedly bring myself back.  “Stop, stop, stop with the stories.” I literally had to tell myself this over and over throughout the day.  But every time I did, I felt relief.  I was still not happy with my situation, but I was living it, I was doing something about it. There was no need to make myself unhappy by adding in all the past stories around weight.  I didn’t need that, I needed to deal with the present.

You see unhappiness isn’t caused by emotions. Unhappiness is emotions plus an unhappy story.  So when you remove the unhappy story you are left with just the emotions and the emotions are ok, you can handle them.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to shout, shout.  But hold your head high, walk through that hell like the devil himself invited you.  Once you get to the other side, you’ll feel a relief like no other.

So I”m still in search of answers, I’m being my own advocate, and I’m doing it right now, in this moment, today.  I’m not telling myself stories, I’m living in truth.  I have found that I wasn’t as unhappy as I thought I was. You can’t really be unhappy without an unhappy story.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love

Amy

I am a published author and Master Life Coach with certifications in Happiness Therapy and Mental Abuse.  If you’d like to set an appointment with me, I’d love to talk.  Reach me @ [email protected]

Subscribe and like this blog to receive updates 🙂

 

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Taming the Smug Bug

 Smug High

I was recently confronted with an issue that made me feel so much emotion, from sadness to extreme anger. And it got me wondering why this thing was bothering me so much.  Why was I constantly thinking about it, discussing it with others, over thinking at night, etc.  I know from my studies that typically when something that someone else does is really bothering you it’s because you most likely have some underlying issue that may or may not have to do with the issue at hand. So I dug a little deeper…

I think society, myself included has been on a Smug High. Most of the time, I don’t believe it’s intentional.  I think often we get so excited about something and maybe even experience such great joy from it or even physical or mental transformation that we just want to share it with everyone.  However, when that excitement turns into a feeling of, “I’m better or my way is better or healthier or more spiritual,” it becomes a problem.  That is when we become smug.

Types of Smug

There are so many different types of smugness: Spiritual Smugness, Political Smugness, Dietary Smugness, Aesthetic Smugness, and I’m sure many more that I’m not even thinking about.

The most recent incident that brought this whole idea to me was the tragedy of Kolby Bryant and the horrible helicopter accident that claimed the lives of so many families.  Being a huge basketball fan I’ve followed Kolby as millions of others have throughout his whole career.  He was never my favorite, after all, I loved Michael Jordan, and I mean loved him, and Kolby stating he would be greater than him immediately made me have a love hate relationship for him.  However, he was fun to watch, on the court and off.  Did he have trouble, of course he did.  I think most famous extremely wealthy athletes do. Matter of fact, most all humans do, and I am certainly no exception.

Moments after making a post on Facebook of Kolby and one of my favorite quotes of his, a friend also posted something about his death.  However, his post was very offensive to me, and struck a chord that made me both angry and sad.  His post to me was “Politically Smug.” He stated that he wished the general public cared about our democracy being destroyed, our planet being destroyed, etc. as much as they did about an over paid entertainer dying. That statement was a bit one sided and offensive, however, that’s not what really bothered me.  Further down as people started to comment it got uglier and uglier.  At first I felt bad for my friend.  I knew what he was trying to say, and it wasn’t that I didn’t agree with him, but he had used perhaps the wrong wording. However,  further comments went on to slam Kobe, mentioning a case that was never brought to court, mentioning he was never a team player, etc. I now know longer felt bad for my friend. He got entangled in the comments of others, and not only agreed to them but made some even uglier statements himself, and the uglier it got, I realized I wanted no part of it and unfriended this person.

I was actually outraged that anyone on this planet would be attacking the character of someone that just died tragically along with his daughter and other families.  But the more I talked about it and the angrier I became, I started to wonder why this was bothering me so much.  Although I was friends with this person online, I didn’t know him personally, so why would I even care?  And as I dug deeper I found that I too had recently been “Politically Smug.”

I had become so outraged over the Impeachment Trials, and the whole process, I was so upset about our country, that we had a President that was embarrassing, a womanizer, a big bully, that I had even stated, “I literally cannot be friends with anyone that supports Trump.” Now while I myself truly believe that this man cannot stay in power, and I truly believe he’s a terrible person, I also understand that this is my belief.  I can obviously still be friends with others that don’t share my beliefs.  I’m not sure I would ever be comfortable discussing it with someone that I knew supported Trump, because I do not support him, but I shouldn’t allow myself to be so Politically Smug that I think my opinion is the only one that matters.

Once you find yourself becoming offensive/defensive or pushing your beliefs onto others, or bashing one thing to make your point about another thing, you’ve got the bug.

Smug Bug

I think it’s so easy to get excited about something, for instance, I recently switched from vegetarian to vegan.  I’ve seen such health benefits for myself and my family: cholesterol and blood glucose lowered, more energy, weight loss, etc. that of course I want to shout it from the rooftops.  And I think that is great, and it’s an awesome thing to share our life experiences with others, but once it becomes, “Vegan is the only way,” then you’ve run into the Smug Bug.

There are so many examples of becoming smug that the list could go on and on but I think we’ve got the general idea.

Avoiding the Smug Bug

So how do we avoid it? How do we make sure we don’t become Smug? It’s a very difficult thing.  As humans we all have an ego, and I battle with mine daily. I think the more we “get into” whatever it is we’re into: politics, eating healthy, spirituality, the more we think our belief is right and the harder it is to let anyone else have their own opinion. What we don’t realize is that we are never finished.  We are never finished learning, there’s always something new, we’ve never “Arrived,” and if we can remember that, it is easier to squash our own ego just a bit and let others have the opportunity to have their own beliefs and opinions without taking offense to them and without having to become defensive about our own.

Peace & love to you all today,

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. It’s available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Mental Abuse and Happiness Life.

You may reach me via email [email protected]

Please like and subscribe to this blog to receive updates 🙂