A Pause in Normality….

A New Normal

As I reflected on all that’s been going on I started to realize that Covid-19, as awful as it is, has also brought some much needed light to a lot of things that were already happening. We’ve just been too busy or blind, or whatever you want to call it to see it before now.

I do not want, in any way, to minimize how awful this virus is, but I do want to bring a positive light to this pandemic, as this truly is an opportunity to change the way we move forward from here. What will it look like as states start to “re-open?” Will we continue down the road we’ve been on, or will we look at what’s not working and do our best to make a change?

Today as I was scrolling through social media I came upon a post that said something to this effect: “If I see one more person talking about how they’re growing a garden, or making their own baby food or making their own dog food or learning to cook or sew, etc. I’m going to delete them.”  It occurred to me that there is a battle of sorts between who wants to get back to their “normal lives” and those, like myself, who realize, that “normal” was not working, and we are seeking a “new normal.”

What is Normal

This virus has brought to light the control that the government has over us all.  They have mandated that we cannot leave our homes unless it is for “essential” things.  The thing is, who are they to decide what is essential?  I can tell you that going to fast food restaurants is not essential for me.  But you know what is….. yoga class for my mental and physical well being.  Being able to see my Physical Therapist, since I had surgery just 3 months ago.  Talking one on one with my therapist. All these things weren’t even of any value to My President.  This was a real eye opener for me.

Back in October of 2019 my grandfather passed away and I have been in deep contemplation over the process ever since.  Long before this virus we were already tossing our grandparents and parents into nursing homes or assisted living homes because we are too busy to take care of them or because we simply cannot stand the process of aging and want to hide it away as much as we can.  Now with Covid-19 it is shedding light on how dire the situation actually is.  We have locked the elderly away even further, allowing no visitors.  The caretakers are wearing masks and gloves and there is little to no interaction with the patients.  Mind you, like my grandmother, some are paying 5,000 a month to live like this.  I have asked myself at what point do I decide it’s “safe enough” to go and visit her or try to bring her home with me.  And I wonder what price we are putting on death? My grandmother is 88 years old and when I asked her about it, she said she would give anything for a visit from family.  Someone to just watch TV or read or play a game with her.  She would rather us bring Covid-19 to her, which would most likely kill her. Because as she stated, “The life I”m living is worse than death.”

Another thing Covid-19 has brought to light is this whole social distancing thing.  Are you kidding? We’ve already been social distancing.  How many times do you see families out in public, each on their cell phones? How many parents are having to work 60-80 hours a week and not spending any time with their own children? Social distancing isn’t new, but it is definitely something I don’t want to see increased as part of a “new normal.”

Covid-19 has brought more light on “sanitizing” as well.  For years scientists have been saying that in order to fight off viruses we need to be introduced to a certain amount of bacteria.  Yet for years we’ve been saturating our lives with sanitizers.  Kids no longer play outside without rubbing on hand sanitizer, let alone play with one another.  Our immune systems can only function by interacting with all life and if we never allow any bacteria to be introduced into our life we can’t fight viruses off.  My fear is that we’ll continue to build on this and the new normal will be wearing masks anytime we leave our homes, only furthering our inability to introduce good/bad bacteria to our bodies.

If you think that “normal” was working and that things have been improving for our planet I’d like you do to some research. The obesity rate in the U.S. has risen from 35.7 in 2010 to a whopping 42.4% in 2019.  Suicide has increased 35%  and is now the 10th leading cause of death….10th!!  1 in 6 Americans are now prescribed some type of anti-depressant medication.  Over 11 million children live in “food insecure” homes. 60,000 families with children are homeless on any given night in the U.S. This isn’t a normal we should be proud of, this is a normal we should be leaving behind.

I think it’s awesome some of the things that have been done to help the world right now.  Celebrities coming out with very cool challenges to raise money for Covid-19 relief, government getting a few grants and unemployment out there, (though it is far too little help in my opinion.) But the thing is the majority of these problems were here before Covid-19. Children going hungry, homelessness, our elderly, farming in America, the fast food industry, global crisis, etc. These things were there before, they just aren’t talked about.  We don’t see a daily briefing on all these things, therefore we tend to remain blind to them.  I hope that this pandemic has opened your eyes as it has mine, and that we can move forward and keep the efforts to help heal the earth and each other going and not just stop and become complacent once again after the “all clear alarm” has been sound.

A New Normal

It’s very difficult to wade through these muddy waters.  We don’t really know who or what to believe.  But I implore you, before we all just get “back to normal” let’s take this pause in normality to make new decisions.  We don’t have to remain stuck in old beliefs. This is a time we need to broaden our thinking, seek out answers, find a more sustainable life for ourselves, our families and our communities.

I would love to see your new ideas: Your gardens, your recipes for healthy eating, your exercise routines, your ideas for a better way of life. Your ideas on how to help your own families your own communities.  It’s impossible to save the whole world.  When you look at it on that big of a scope it’s too hard to even fathom.  However, if you start with yourself, your own home, your own kids, your own pets, your own health, your own community or neighborhood, that’s where we can all make a difference.  And once we each start to make a difference, that’s when we create a new and better world.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my grand children or great grand children to wonder what a hand shake meant or what a hug felt like.  I want us all to be healthy, healthy enough to fight off these diseases that are undoubtedly going to continue to come.  And that all starts at home. If the fast food industry is your kitchen, please, please, look at your own health, especially what you’re feeding your body and then help others learn what you are learning.  How else can we show compassion for each other?  How else can we help each other become better?

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

I am a Certified Master Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse Recovery.

I am a published author.  My poetry book, “Soon Enuff” can be found worldwide on Amazon.

Subscribe to my blog to receive updates via email @[email protected]

**A Personal Normal Note

My family has taken this time to learn how to build three raised gardens.  We will be able to grow enough vegetables to sustain us through the summer and probably through most of the winter.  We are learning to cook healthy vegan meals, that make us feel so much better.  We are learning about what types of foods can heal us without prescription medication.  It’s important for us to look into the nursing home situation a lot more in depth.  It has become important for us to look into the kids that are going hungry in our area and see what we can do about it.  These are the types of things I want to move forward with as part of my new normal.  Not because it will make my life immediately better or that I’ll see a profound change, but because for us, this is what’s important. I am not trying to “toot my own horn,” I’m sharing with you because I want you to share with me.

 

Mindful Living

Becoming Mindful of your thoughts

Seems the more we can’t control something, the more we realize it’s really out of our hands, the more we think about it.

Tips for a mindful practice

I find that it helps during these times if I sit quietly and just ask myself what is really true.  Sometimes it helps if I picture myself as a third person, looking in from the outside at the situation. And most of the time, well, really, all the time, the thoughts that are running through my head simply aren’t accurate or true.

Try to stay present, be mindful of what you’re thinking. Cause the truth is, if it’s out of your hands, then it shouldn’t be weighing so heavily on your mind. Let it go, come on, you can do it….

Peace & Love,

Amy

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

I am a published author of, “Soon Enuff,” available and on sale this week worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse.

You may reach me via email @ [email protected]

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Be All In

How to be all in

Let me start with my own story….so I’ve been working quite awhile on getting out of my own head.  Trying to stop living in my thoughts, in my stories, and just trying to stay present and deal with the truth in every moment.

I’ve been healing from a recent surgery and pretty frustrated frankly with my surgeon and not getting the answers that I’ve been looking for.  So I made an appointment with my general Dr. hoping to get some clarity.  I’ve known I’ve gained some weight after the operation, which has been upsetting because I eat a pretty healthy vegetarian diet but haven’t been able to exercise like for six weeks, however, I hadn’t actually weighed myself.  Upon getting to the Dr. office I stepped on the scale to discover I’ve gained 22 pounds in six weeks since surgery. The Dr. discussed the possibility of what inflammation was doing to my body, some possible kidney issues, etc. but honestly I didn’t hear much of what she was saying.  You see, I immediately went into my head and started hearing the voices from years and years past talking about beautiful bodies, slim figures, etc.  I heard voices and felt past pain from arguments about my weight, hurtful comments about not being in good enough shape or sexually attractive.  All of it, and when I say all of it, I’m talking 20-30 years of stories all dealing with weight issues came rushing in and I immediately took it to heart.  My unhappiness was heavy on my chest.

Are you in

I tried desperately to bring my attention back to my Dr. and to discuss possible reasons for what I was going through, both physically and mentally.  As I left her office and walked down to the lab I started crying.  And as I sat in the chair, I started asking myself, what was going on, what was I feeling.  My stomach was hurting, my heart was aching, and then I thought, “Ok, so what’s really going on, outside the story, what’s really the truth here?” And you know, as soon, as I got my mind quiet and left the story spinning, I realized the truth was I had come to get some answers. My health has been on a roller coaster.  There’s nothing I’m doing that’s causing this weight gain. No one has said anything hateful to me or been unpleasant at all.  I’m actually proud of myself for the way I’ve dealt with this blow to my health.  I just need answers, I need to be my own advocate, I need to deal with what’s happening right now.

Is it easy to be in the moment

No, it wasn’t easy and it didn’t come naturally.  In fact, the remainder of the day I had to repeatedly bring myself back.  “Stop, stop, stop with the stories.” I literally had to tell myself this over and over throughout the day.  But every time I did, I felt relief.  I was still not happy with my situation, but I was living it, I was doing something about it. There was no need to make myself unhappy by adding in all the past stories around weight.  I didn’t need that, I needed to deal with the present.

You see unhappiness isn’t caused by emotions. Unhappiness is emotions plus an unhappy story.  So when you remove the unhappy story you are left with just the emotions and the emotions are ok, you can handle them.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to shout, shout.  But hold your head high, walk through that hell like the devil himself invited you.  Once you get to the other side, you’ll feel a relief like no other.

So I”m still in search of answers, I’m being my own advocate, and I’m doing it right now, in this moment, today.  I’m not telling myself stories, I’m living in truth.  I have found that I wasn’t as unhappy as I thought I was. You can’t really be unhappy without an unhappy story.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love

Amy

I am a published author and Master Life Coach with certifications in Happiness Therapy and Mental Abuse.  If you’d like to set an appointment with me, I’d love to talk.  Reach me @ [email protected]

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Ponytail & Coffee

Saturday Ponytails

One of my favorite things to do on a Saturday morning is get up, wash my face, throw my hair in a high pony tail (J-Lo Style lol) and make my coffee.

I heard a song lyric that said, “Got the past behind me like my ponytail,” and I absolutely love that.  This is a hard concept for people, like myself, that are fixers.  We want everything to be discussed and worked out.  If there’s a problem we want to solve it and fix it before we move on from it, and when that doesn’t happen it’s hard to let it go.

Ponytail Peace

I have found that I feel most at peace when I live in the present moment.  It’s hard to do, but when I let yesterday go, even if not everything was fixed or healed, I am more at peace.  Ultimately there is nothing we can do about yesterday, it’s gone.  We need to learn to address things as they come up.  If something needs to be fixed or discussed, it needs to be done so at the moment, or as close to the moment as possible, because once the moment has passed, especially an entire day, it does zero good to bring it back up.  So work on staying present and doing what needs to be done to give your life the most peace in each passing moment.

Ponytail Promises

I can’t really promise you anything, but I can tell you staying present, keeping that “past behind you like your ponytail,” can bring peace, at least it has for me.

I hope that at least for today, in this moment, you will enjoy yourself, love yourself, and most importantly, just take care of yourself.  We only live this day once and I hope you make it as beautiful as you can.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Peace & Love, Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialities in surviving Mental Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

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Adaptability

The Importance of Adaptability

Adaptability can best be described as remaining open to change, able to accept the unknown, freedom from learned responses.

Did you know meeting change with resilience instead of bitterness can actually extend your life?  The world is harsh, however, if you can learn to bend a little instead of being stiff and breaking, if you can learn to enjoy and be happy with whatever comes, it changes your whole biology.  Because you see our psychology actually dictates our biology.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I respond creatively to change?

Am I free from anxiety?

Do I continually create?

Do I continue to learn new things?

Responding creatively to change is when something out of the ordinary comes up, you can look at it and think of positive ways to make it work out.  You don’t freak out and panic, but you embrace it with the attitude of, “Great, something new, how can we make this work to our advantage.”

Free from anxiety.  Anxiety is a psychological response that causes your biology to change.  When you send your body into panic mode all kinds of things start happening.  Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure goes up, causing stress on the heart often leading to coronary events if not treated.  Anxiety can suppress your immune system, cause all kinds of digestive disorders, it can also lead to depression and dementia. All things which make us age.

Continuing to create.  What is it you love?  Are you a writer, if so continue to write.  Artist, fishing, hiking, climbing, you get it.  Stop listening to the learned responses such as, “I’m getting older, I probably shouldn’t hike that far,” or “Climbing is too dangerous for a person my age,” or “No one wants to read something an older person is writing,” or “I can’t bounce back like I used to,” and instead you just keep living, guess what, you keep living.

Have you ever seen 80 year olds still out hiking?  I have! A couple summers ago we were hiking a 2,000 foot incline in only 2 miles at Crater Lake.  It was very difficult for me despite the fact I’d been hiking for several years.  Much to my surprise a very elderly couple blew past me.  When I got to the top they smiled and we started a conversation.  I asked how old they were, the wife was 79 and the husband 83!  Do you think they listened to the voices saying, “You probably should stop doing that you’re too old?”  Absolutely not!  They had been avid explorers their whole lives and just never thought to slow down, and guess what, their bodies never gave them a reason to, because their psychology controlled their biology.

Continuing to learn new things can be easy as reading new books, taking a different route, playing games, traveling to new places, learning about the weather where your kids live.  The idea here is you never stop using your brain.  You don’t sit sedentary in front of your TV mindlessly watching the same things day in and day out.  By learning new things you allow the brain to compensate for natural tissue loss.  Learning new things stimulates the neurons in the brain which form new neuron pathways and allows electrical impulses to travel faster.

Can you learn to Adapt

“Perhaps you need to learn to let go of the notion

that things could have been different..

they weren’t.”

–Amy Lopez–

I, like many others have suffered with anxiety.  I used to really panic when my plan didn’t work out.  When faced with the prospect of a new change, I would typically revert back to the comfort of just staying complacent.  Change is scary, especially when it’s not expected.  The loss of a job, a spouse leaving, a loved one dying, a flood, a hurricane, tornado, etc.  These things all happen.  But how can we learn to adapt instead of stress?

A little stress is obviously natural in any of the above circumstances.  It’s when the stress doesn’t go away that we’re in trouble.

Things I’ve found that have relieved my anxiety and allowed me to live a happier healthier life are:  meditation, exercise, a healthy diet, sleep, and therapy.

When you take a little time to sit quietly with yourself you can go over things that are happening and how you’ll handle them, before they happen.  You know you’re about to face an ugly day at the lawyers office, or you have to clean up after a natural disaster, etc.  When you breath deeply especially sighing out the negativity you’ll find it’s much easier to face.  You know you have to face it, why not face it the best way possible.  Go in with a smile, let’s get this done, how can we make something positive out of it.

Daily exercise has been proven to relieve stress, it relieves tension, improves sleep and elevates your mood and self esteem.  Combine this with eating a healthy diet, stay away from unnatural foods, and you’ll improve not only your physical body but your mental one as well.

I’m one of those people that struggles to get 8-9 hours of sleep.  However, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic with around 7.  I do rest during the day, usually napping for about 20-30 minutes.  I have found that when I eat lighter at night, usually I don’t eat past 4:00 unless it’s a handful of nuts or a little fruit, I sleep much better.  If you struggle with sleep, try black out curtains, ear plugs, or an app that plays sleepy time noise such as the ocean waves or water trickling.  Getting adequate sleep re-charges your brain, improving your focus, concentration and mood.  Getting adequate sleep alone can reduce stress and anxiety.  If you still struggle, seek help from a therapist.

I’m a Certified Life Coach and as a Life Coach I can tell you that talking to someone about your stress and anxiety can literally save your life.  I have a great Coach that has helped me figure out ways to change my life to make it less stressful, and also just laughed with me through some very tough situations.  If you need someone to talk to seek out a therapist or life coach or even just a sister, brother, friend that will understand and hold your confidence.

You know aging is a natural process, but it literally takes the organs around 103 years to start breaking down naturally.  That means that everything else isn’t natural.  Try to remember that the oldest and healthiest living people say these three words a lot: Happy, Satisfied and Enjoyable.  Because our psychology dictates our biology.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

You can find me on FB @lilbitsofme22  IG @lilbitsofme22 Twitter @amylo_5

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Reinvent Yourself

What does reinvent mean

Whether you’re in your late 20’s or 70’s, it’s never too late to be what you really want to be, to do what you’ve always wanted to do.  To reinvent yourself is to really get in touch with what you’re longing for; A new profession, to become a parent, to buy a house, to move to a different country, to quit your current job to teach yoga, to be a traveling you tube hiker. Whatever your dreams are, if you want to reinvent yourself, Monday is the perfect day to start.

Steps to reinvention

First of all let’s clear out all the emotional clutter.  Anytime someone wants to make a change you should expect to be met with conflict, either from yourself or from outside sources.  You need to sit quietly with yourself, usually over a nice hot cup of coffee or tea and clear out your mind.  Focus on the good, the good you’re already accomplishing and the even better things the new, reinvented you can do.  When your mind starts to play games with you or outside sources start to make you feel doubt, meet it head on.  Remind yourself who you are, how strong you are, remind yourself of what you really want.  It’s okay to have doubts, but don’t let them stop you, you’ll need to be strong mentally to get through reinvention.

Secondly, start changing up your routine.  Whatever it is you’re wanting to reinvent yourself into, better eating, more working out, more writing, waking up earlier to look through the houses for sale, property in another country, etc.  Researching is going to be your number one go to.  Don’t just assume that you know it all.  If you want to move to another country because you think it’s peaceful and beautiful, do your research and then research some more.  Talk to people that have lived there, make plans to go and visit, possibly for a little longer then a regular vacation.  If you’re wanting to be in better shape and think you know the perfect diet or workout plan because it worked for so and so, do your research, know you’re body type, know what foods do and don’t agree with you.  Look into many different options, as there is no “one thing fits all.”

Thirdly, set some goals. I’m talking about learning or process goals, not performance, outcome goals.  For instance : In two weeks I’m going to learn about the seasons in Costa Rica.  In one month I’m going to learn about the process my body needs to go through to lose ten pounds.  In one week I’m going to really see if I can live on half my income, if I can lessen my grocery bill by 50% and in one month I’m going to look over the process of reducing my debt to see if it’s a possibility to quit my current high paying job for the new job, which is more outdoors, less time in the office, but half the pay job.

Last, and I think this may be the most important one, start imagining yourself as your new reinvented self.  What things you’ll experience, how you’ll look, how you’ll feel.  Start to visualize yourself with that new baby, new house, new job, quitting your job, no job, new body image from the working out and eating well.  I think you’ll find, this alone, will keep you motivated towards your end game.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

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Mindful Aging….

My morning poem:  When you walk out this morning be mindful of every smell, color and texture, all these things will bring your senses pleasure.  And just perhaps one day, we’ll share these treasures together….-Amy-

Good Monday Morning,

New day, new week, let’s make it great!

So does growing older every give you a bit of anxiety?

There are days I get so excited about the stage of life I’m in, kids are grown, I’m older, but still young enough to do pretty much anything I want to.  Still, there are days, I look at myself in the mirror, see the little lines getting more pronounced, having to color my hair a little more often, and times when I worry about my future (older) self.  Financially, health wise, all of it, some days it’s a struggle.

But as I’ve grown in my practice of mindfulness, I’ve come to realize, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about getting older, it’s going to happen, we can’t stop time, and honestly, who would want to?

However, we can change the way we age.  Why does the word age get associated with illness, and becoming decrepit.  Why can’t we grow old and remain healthy?

I believe if we take care of our bodies, minds, and soul through exercise, healthy eating, and healthy living, life can be absolutely wonderful until the end of our days.

Learning to live moment to moment, really living, really tasting life, not just being alive, but being open to every opportunity life gives us, seems to make living worthwhile, and worth living a hundred years!

I hope you take today to be mindful of all the beauty around you.  And if your day is stressful or sad, that’s ok too, accept it for what it is, what it’s showing you, and then tonight when you close your eyes, know that you made it through, and you’re ok, and you’ll be energized to wake up to a new sunrise tomorrow.

Peace & love!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….