Tag: self care

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Self Sabotage

Are you sabotaging your own happiness….

“If there’s one thing I know to be true it’s that we will sabotage our own happiness until we heal and realize we are worth loving….” -Amy Lopez-

Ways we Sabotage…..

Have you ever found yourself floating along blissfully in life? Relationships, work, family, income, everything is going great. Then suddenly, it’s like this little flash goes off in your head and a voice whispers, barely even audible, “This all can’t be happening, you know you don’t deserve this….” and then you start to believe that little voice. You start to get anxious, maybe depressed, and before you know it that voice is telling you, “Let’s fuck it up like we always do.”

Now this voice is probably in your sub-conscious, you don’t actually hear it, and you don’t even know that you are unintentionally starting to fuck things up. Maybe you start getting more argumentative for no reason, just because, well, drama feels more normal to you. Or maybe you start getting ideas of hanging out with people you know are trouble for you. You know, just to cause some unnecessary chaos in your life. Maybe you start talking to someone from your past. You know, because well, your partner hasn’t been paying enough attention to you, so you kind of want to fuck that relationship up too. While all this is a little funny to read, it’s actually really what happens!

One of the worst parts about this cycle is that we don’t just hurt ourselves and sabotage our own happiness, we hurt and sabotage the lives and happiness of those that love us. They are like the innocent by standers in a long drawn out horror film. But why do we do this? Why do we self sabotage? What causes this behavior and how can we stop it before it starts next time?

Answers to Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is caused by self worth, or should I say, lack of it. When we don’t love ourselves, our minds just can’t comprehend that things can be good for too long. When we have past trauma that we haven’t healed from, we continue to carry it into every aspect of our lives. Our relationships, romantic or work related, family, friends, it’s all going to suffer because our minds can’t distinguish the past from the present. We think it’s happened to us so many times, that’s it’s just how life is, it’s not going to change. We don’t realize that essentially we are the ones continuing the cycle. It’s us that refuses to change. You see our ego is so identified with this Victim mentality that it thinks it’s who we are. We are the victim. Our victim ego needs to be fed. So when things are going great, our victim ego is starving. Hungry for drama, for stress, for anxiety. And since life isn’t providing it ample food, our own minds start devise a way to sabotage, to feed our victim mentality. But there is a way out!!

Self help for Sabotage

There is a way out of this of course. Once you realize you have a problem, you’re half way there. Once you realize that you need to deal with some past trauma and that it’s actually your Victim Ego causing you to self sabotage you can change it. The best way….starve that ego. Once you start to give no attention to something it slowly starts to disappear until one day it is gone forever. This will take time and perseverance. It starts with recognizing that you are the problem. It’s the way you’re choosing to respond to life. Life is giving amazing things, showing you love, giving you beautiful gifts, but how are you responding?

Start a gratitude journal. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes the very act of writing down what you’re grateful for, like actually seeing it in black and white right in front of you makes you realize it’s all real. I do this every single morning.

Write some affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements used to replace negative thinking. “I am a loving person and I am loved in return.” “I understand my need to feel loved and protected and so I show that love and protection to those in my life.” You get the idea……

Stay Present. This may be the number one rule of my life, and I hope yours as well. By staying in the present moment we begin to realize the past has no bearing on us any longer. All the trauma from the past is past. We don’t have to let it continue to ruin our futures. Our life is always only right now, in this very moment. And in this very moment you are okay, you are loved, you are beautiful, and most important, you are worthy.

The thing is, until you heal and realize you’re worth loving you literally can’t continue to show love to anyone else. You’re going to continue self sabotaging your own happiness and that happiness of those around you. Start today.

If you’d like help in this area, I’m here for you. You could schedule a short coffee break with me or a longer session. The link to scheduling is listed below….

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

Live Present,

Amy

Did you know I have a brand new free course available on Manifestations/Affirmations. What they are and how and when to use them. Check it out before it’s gone 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c

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Watch your Problems….

Can you watch your problems instead of getting lost in them?

Problems aren’t generally what they appear to be. You see the real problem is to deal with our reactions to what we believe the problem is. It’s hard to deal with life situations (problems) if you’re feeling anxious, scared, angry, or upset. But can you pull back a bit, just watch your problem before you get totally lost in it?

Problem watching can be a great mindfulness practice!

Once you stop for a moment and look to your inside consciousness instead of to what’s going on on the outside you may find where the change needs to take place. You may even find that the “problem” you thought was coming from something in the world or someone else in the world is actually coming from inside yourself.

Ask yourself questions like, “Where am I feeling this jealousy?” “What am I really angry about?” “What part of my body am I feeling the anxiety in?” Get into a quiet space where you can go deeper. Be mindful of where you’re feeling these emotions. Because remember emotions without a story will just come and go if you let them. If you can stop the narrative inside your mind, just get quiet for even a few moments, do a little self discovery. It’s always a good practice to look inside first. We lay too much blame just strive to get to the truth, to get to the root.

Remember this week…..try just watching your problems instead of becoming lost in them 🙂

“If you define the problem correctly, you almost have the solution.” -Steve Jobs-

Cause we’re not there yet…but perhaps, Soon Enuff!

Live Present,

Amy

Hey guys I have a brand new course out, and it’s absolutely FREE!! If you want to learn the difference between a manifestation and an affirmation and when and how to use each, just click below!

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c

If you’d like to go a little deeper, I’d love to set up a one on one coffee break appointment with you :). Click the link below.

https://linktr.ee/AmyLopez

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Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention

Guess what peeps!! I’m so, so excited to be bringing you a live 60-90 minute workshop on how to Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention!

Here’s what we’ll be discussing:

Do Manifestations work

Are affirmations good tools for multiplying healthy habits

Does ego really sabotage productivity

Can mindfulness aid health/healing

New to the practice of mindfulness? There is no better time than now to begin. The health benefits are truly transformational.

At the end of the workshop you’re going to have some invaluable tools at your fingertips!

*Manifestations for Health/Healing

*3 Affirmations to put into practice for Multipling Healthy Habits

*Tools to help you stop ego from sabotaging your progress

*Mindfulness techniques for your physical well being

Hope to see you there!

Oh, and just because you’re reading this I’m offering a $10 Early Bird Discount if you register by January 15th!

To register click the link below 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5ffb908774631bcfc57f1dff

Cause we’re not there yet…but perhaps, Soon Enuff!

XO,

Amy

I am a teacher of Presence and a Life Coach with Certifications in Wellness & Happiness Therapy.

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Are you Hiding

Are you hiding the real you? Do you know why?

When you have an aversion for the old you it makes it difficult, actually impossible, to love the new version of yourself. We can’t just cut that part out and throw it away, as much as we may like to. Who we were in the past, decisions we made, experiences we had, they are part of us. But don’t mistake this….. they are not who we are.

Try to look back on your past, good or bad, and I think you’ll realize there were some things that you simply didn’t know better. And some things you did, and you made bad choices. It’s part of life. Now is the time to forgive yourself. Maybe you need to ask forgiveness from others. Maybe you already have, and they choose not to forgive. That’s okay, that’s for them to figure out. Do what you need to do to let go and move forward.

Cause here’s the thing, this new version of you, the awakened version, the more caring, kind and loving version, well, it needs you to show up for it everyday! It needs you to live present and stop spending your time in the past.

I know we’re not there yet….but if we keep trying, perhaps we will be Soon Enuff…

Sincerely,

Amy

Hey guys, I hope you’ll check out my linktr.ee for access to my books, a fun new year challenge, and hey, maybe book an appointment with me to get this year off to a great start!!

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

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Finding your authentic self

Want to find yourself? You’re going to have to get rid of your personal shit.

So it’s the last days of December and almost the end of what some may call the worst year of their lives. But most importantly….it’s a new day, a brand new week, and the start of a whole new year.

The perfect time to let go of your personal shit. Your past pain, memories that cause you to replay unhealthy stories. You see, to find the real you, you’re going to need to shovel the shit off yourself.

Start today! Create your own beautiful experiences, do it your way, in each and every present moment!

You see, I’m not there yet. But like all of you, I hope to be, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy

I have a new and fun challenge starting for the new year. “How to be a more Present You in 2021.” To join me just click the link below:

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

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Mindful Living

Becoming Mindful of your thoughts

Seems the more we can’t control something, the more we realize it’s really out of our hands, the more we think about it.

Tips for a mindful practice

I find that it helps during these times if I sit quietly and just ask myself what is really true.  Sometimes it helps if I picture myself as a third person, looking in from the outside at the situation. And most of the time, well, really, all the time, the thoughts that are running through my head simply aren’t accurate or true.

Try to stay present, be mindful of what you’re thinking. Cause the truth is, if it’s out of your hands, then it shouldn’t be weighing so heavily on your mind. Let it go, come on, you can do it….

Peace & Love,

Amy

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

I am a published author of, “Soon Enuff,” available and on sale this week worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse.

You may reach me via email @ [email protected]

Please like and subscribe to my blog to receive updates, thanks guys!! 🙂

 

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Be All In

How to be all in

Let me start with my own story….so I’ve been working quite awhile on getting out of my own head.  Trying to stop living in my thoughts, in my stories, and just trying to stay present and deal with the truth in every moment.

I’ve been healing from a recent surgery and pretty frustrated frankly with my surgeon and not getting the answers that I’ve been looking for.  So I made an appointment with my general Dr. hoping to get some clarity.  I’ve known I’ve gained some weight after the operation, which has been upsetting because I eat a pretty healthy vegetarian diet but haven’t been able to exercise like for six weeks, however, I hadn’t actually weighed myself.  Upon getting to the Dr. office I stepped on the scale to discover I’ve gained 22 pounds in six weeks since surgery. The Dr. discussed the possibility of what inflammation was doing to my body, some possible kidney issues, etc. but honestly I didn’t hear much of what she was saying.  You see, I immediately went into my head and started hearing the voices from years and years past talking about beautiful bodies, slim figures, etc.  I heard voices and felt past pain from arguments about my weight, hurtful comments about not being in good enough shape or sexually attractive.  All of it, and when I say all of it, I’m talking 20-30 years of stories all dealing with weight issues came rushing in and I immediately took it to heart.  My unhappiness was heavy on my chest.

Are you in

I tried desperately to bring my attention back to my Dr. and to discuss possible reasons for what I was going through, both physically and mentally.  As I left her office and walked down to the lab I started crying.  And as I sat in the chair, I started asking myself, what was going on, what was I feeling.  My stomach was hurting, my heart was aching, and then I thought, “Ok, so what’s really going on, outside the story, what’s really the truth here?” And you know, as soon, as I got my mind quiet and left the story spinning, I realized the truth was I had come to get some answers. My health has been on a roller coaster.  There’s nothing I’m doing that’s causing this weight gain. No one has said anything hateful to me or been unpleasant at all.  I’m actually proud of myself for the way I’ve dealt with this blow to my health.  I just need answers, I need to be my own advocate, I need to deal with what’s happening right now.

Is it easy to be in the moment

No, it wasn’t easy and it didn’t come naturally.  In fact, the remainder of the day I had to repeatedly bring myself back.  “Stop, stop, stop with the stories.” I literally had to tell myself this over and over throughout the day.  But every time I did, I felt relief.  I was still not happy with my situation, but I was living it, I was doing something about it. There was no need to make myself unhappy by adding in all the past stories around weight.  I didn’t need that, I needed to deal with the present.

You see unhappiness isn’t caused by emotions. Unhappiness is emotions plus an unhappy story.  So when you remove the unhappy story you are left with just the emotions and the emotions are ok, you can handle them.  If you need to cry, cry.  If you need to shout, shout.  But hold your head high, walk through that hell like the devil himself invited you.  Once you get to the other side, you’ll feel a relief like no other.

So I”m still in search of answers, I’m being my own advocate, and I’m doing it right now, in this moment, today.  I’m not telling myself stories, I’m living in truth.  I have found that I wasn’t as unhappy as I thought I was. You can’t really be unhappy without an unhappy story.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Peace & love

Amy

I am a published author and Master Life Coach with certifications in Happiness Therapy and Mental Abuse.  If you’d like to set an appointment with me, I’d love to talk.  Reach me @ [email protected]

Subscribe and like this blog to receive updates 🙂

 

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Self Love

Loving Yourself

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’ve been extremely hateful to myself for the last couple of weeks. I’ve talked negatively to myself, which I know better then to do. I’ve not showered, I’ve been lazy, I’ve withdrawn from friends and family. And well, today, I’m putting a stop to it.  A stop to the punishing of myself for things out of my control.  Because after all, we can’t control everything that happens. But what we can control is how we feel in the moment of what’s happening. We can choose to be as happy or as sad as we want to.  We can choose to make ourselves feel better or worse simply by changing the words we speak to ourselves.

Loving Words of Affirmation

We are harder on ourselves then any other person could ever be. The words we say to ourselves inside our own minds hurt us more then the words of everyone else.  Start speaking words of affirmation to yourself instead of words of negativity.  Here are a few examples:  Okay, so it’s raining outside.  Instead of saying, “Ugh, it’s so dreary, I’m going to be so down today because of this rain.” Try saying, “It’s raining outside, I’ll find something fun to do today inside to brighten my mood.” You know, it is what it is.  It’s just rain.  It’s not dreary, it’s not gloomy, it’s just rain.  Here’s another one: “I look terrible. The lines on my face are getting deeper, my clothes are so tight they’re uncomfortable, I’ve gotten so fat and out of shape.” Replace that with, “I will start getting more sleep, drinking more water and less caffeine.  Today I’ll make some better food choices, and get back onto my workout plan.  Not because I look terrible, but because working out and eating right feels good, puts me in a better mood, and is so healthy for me and I love me.”

So you get the idea…It’s not that you won’t have negative thoughts, you will, we all do.  And a big mistake a lot of us make is we just try not to think that way.  But what’s important is that you take that negative thought, remove it, and replace it.  If you don’t replace your negative thought with a positive one, you’ll continue to repeat the negative thought.  Throw it out, stomp on it, but then replace it and smile.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at: [email protected]

Follow and like my blog to receive updates and important information 🙂

 

 

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Struggles of an Empath

An Empaths struggle is real

On one shoulder sits the empath and on the other the bitch and I’m torn between walking away and trying harder.

As an empath it’s really a struggle to know when I’ve done enough. I give too many chances, love to hard, show too much kindness. Sometimes it literally feels like it’s draining my soul.

Apathy or Empathy

So when is enough enough? When is it time to be a little more apathetic and a little less empathetic? You know I use the term bitch as the opposite of empath but it’s not being a bitch to remove yourself from someone or a situation that is draining you.

empath

Sometimes it’s necessary to your mental health, to your own well being to just get the fuck away from someone that is draining you spiritually and mentally. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

There’s no doubt you’ve given it all you could. You’ve probably loved too hard, shown too much kindness, and given everything you have to give, and you know what, for some that will never be Enuff.  That’s when you know, come on, you’ve probably always known, it’s time to exit their lives and to keep a strong distance. Do it for yourself, cause you should love yourself as much as you keep loving everyone else.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. Available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

I’d appreciate your follow, like and subscribing to my blog for updates and alerts on new posts.

 

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Vibing Positivity

A new decade of positivity

It’s not only a new day, a new week, a new year….it’s a brand new decade!!

Did you know if you vibe positivity, positivity comes back to you.  It’s true, what you send out into the universe comes back to you.

I can literally feel energy from other people.  I know when they’re down and I know when they’re up.  And life is full of both.  But what if we can take the down and turn it up more often? What if life can be lived in a more positive way instead of so much suffering?

Turning negative to positive

I know it’s impossible to always be positive.  Obviously life throws things at us that we can’t control, and sometimes those things make us sad, anxious, cautious and less than optimistic.  That’s all okay as long as we don’t “lay in that swamp” too long.  Let yourself feel those things.  But you’re also the only one that can control what you do with those feelings.  You are the only one that makes the choice to stay down and negative or figure out a way to be positive about what’s happening.

So take today, it’s Monday, a new day, the beginning a of a new week.  Start drinking more water, get in a little exercise, make a few better food choices, try to get outdoors, even if it’s cold, be kinder, stress a little less and you know what….try vibing positivity!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which you can find on Amazon.

I’m also a certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving psychological abuse and happiness therapy.

You may email me at [email protected]

Follow and subscribe to my blog to receive updates and alerts