Tools of Choice

How do you choose

Contrary to popular belief, a choice is not a thing, it’s not a noun. A choice is an action you take, a verb. Options are things. And while we can’t always choose all our options, we are the only one that can choose which option to take.

In our society it seems that more means better. Work more hours, volunteer more, make more, see more, do more, always more. The problem is, often the more we do, the less we do. What I mean here is, you can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything. The more you push yourself in one hundred directions, the less you end up doing. You can only give so much of yourself to any one given project. If you’re working on 100 things then you’re only going to be giving 10 percent of yourself to each of those things.

So what tools do we have to help us with the plethora of options we’re given each day? How do we know we are making the right choices? (taking the right actions.) Here’s a 3 tools I have learned that help me with making life choices:

*Be Present (mindful)

When you are living in the present moment and are presented with an option you are more aware of what choice needs to be made. You aren’t concerned with how something turned out in the past, or worried about what this option may or may not turn out to be in the future. You are only aware of what choice you should make for the moment you’re in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think ahead, it means you’re primary focus is on what action you need to take right now, your secondary focus is how will this action affect something in the future.

*Practice Discernment

The problem is we are presented with so many things each day. Some that are easy to discern, we can plainly see they aren’t worth our time. However, what about when we’re presented with several good or great options? We need some real discernment to know when to say no to a good opportunity. What are some questions you can think of to practice discernment? For me, I try to ask myself, “Would this option be vital to my business or my way of life.” Even if it’s a great option, it may not be a vital option.

*Give & Take

Try to remember there is a give & take for every option. If you are unaware of this you’re going to find yourself in some trouble by way of stress. You’ll be over worked, agitated, and most likely you’ll find you’re not doing a very good job. The key is to ask yourself this questions, “If I take on this project/option what will I need to give up to make it work?” Because the thing is, you can do anything you want to, but you cannot do it everything. So when we take on something new, we need to realize something else has got to go or be put on hold for awhile.

If you’d like a great book to read on this subject, “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown is amazing!!

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy Lopez

I have a live 60-90 minute workshop coming on January 25th! Would love to have you join me. For $40 I’ll be giving you invaluable tools to “Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention.

You may register here :

https://calendly.com/grounded-inthe-present/multiply-healthy-habits-with-intention

Are you Hiding

Are you hiding the real you? Do you know why?

When you have an aversion for the old you it makes it difficult, actually impossible, to love the new version of yourself. We can’t just cut that part out and throw it away, as much as we may like to. Who we were in the past, decisions we made, experiences we had, they are part of us. But don’t mistake this….. they are not who we are.

Try to look back on your past, good or bad, and I think you’ll realize there were some things that you simply didn’t know better. And some things you did, and you made bad choices. It’s part of life. Now is the time to forgive yourself. Maybe you need to ask forgiveness from others. Maybe you already have, and they choose not to forgive. That’s okay, that’s for them to figure out. Do what you need to do to let go and move forward.

Cause here’s the thing, this new version of you, the awakened version, the more caring, kind and loving version, well, it needs you to show up for it everyday! It needs you to live present and stop spending your time in the past.

I know we’re not there yet….but if we keep trying, perhaps we will be Soon Enuff…

Sincerely,

Amy

Hey guys, I hope you’ll check out my linktr.ee for access to my books, a fun new year challenge, and hey, maybe book an appointment with me to get this year off to a great start!!

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Finding your authentic self

Want to find yourself? You’re going to have to get rid of your personal shit.

So it’s the last days of December and almost the end of what some may call the worst year of their lives. But most importantly….it’s a new day, a brand new week, and the start of a whole new year.

The perfect time to let go of your personal shit. Your past pain, memories that cause you to replay unhealthy stories. You see, to find the real you, you’re going to need to shovel the shit off yourself.

Start today! Create your own beautiful experiences, do it your way, in each and every present moment!

You see, I’m not there yet. But like all of you, I hope to be, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy

I have a new and fun challenge starting for the new year. “How to be a more Present You in 2021.” To join me just click the link below:

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Chaos to Clarity

You never notice it while you’re in the middle of it, but often it is chaos that leads us to clarity.

Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where everything was good. Everything was clear, there were were no bad times. Unfortunately that is not the life we live. Life is full of polarities.

I believe that while it is not easy, it is a necessary part of life to learn to navigate the tough times. To learn to keep composure even in the most difficult of circumstances. To find mental clarity even when your mind is bombarded with chaotic thoughts.

To do this you’ll need to learn to stay present. To be aware and mindful of your circumstances. To distinguish what is a life situation and what is life.

If you’d like to learn these concepts sign up for my free 10 day challenge to “Becoming a More Present You in 2021.”

Just click on the link below! Hope you’ll join me on this journey!

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5fd61e12716e9e688e07cb70

Cause I’m not there yet…..but perhaps, Soon Enuff!!

Live Present,

Amy XO

If you’d like more in depth coaching I have a few spots remaining for one on one sessions. There are options for 30 or 60 minutes. You can click the link below to set up a time. Hope to see you soon 🙂

My Linktree:https://linktr.ee/AmyLopez

Which role are you playing this week

Ready or not, it’s Monday! So which role will you be playing this week?

Maybe you’re a mother, step mother, girlfriend, grandmother, boss, co-worker, the list goes on and on. We all have those titles, roles that society and history have placed on us. We all have a responsibility to others to fulfill those roles. But the titles aren’t who you are, not deep down. But deep down do you even know who your true authentic self is?

Sometimes it’s tough to know. So many expectations are put on us even as children. We grow comfortable with titles, “I”m a mother.” But who are you beyond that? Who are you when the kids grow up?

To know your true self you have to dig a little deeper. You have to be present in each moment you live. You have to realize that you are the one doing the watching. You are the one seeing yourself as the mother. You are the one labeling yourself as the girlfriend, boss, co-worker. You are that voice in the back ground. And to hear her, to hear the authentic you, you need to be quiet.

Try waking up and sitting with yourself, maybe over coffee or tea. Close down your thinking by taking a few deep breaths. Don’t think about what you have to do today, what role you have to play, don’t think at all. Just concentrate on your breathing. When thoughts come in, just acknowledge them and let them pass through, you’ll deal with them soon enuff.

What I like to do is be peaceful to myself and my brain. Don’t start bombarding it with demands and stressors. Perhaps you’ll need to wake up a bit early to have this private time, or maybe you have a special room you can sit in quiet for a few moments without distractions. I know it can be a challenge, but it is so worth it to your mental clarity.

We give so much of ourselves to others, can’t we give just a few moments every morning to ourselves. You see, she’s always been there, you’re true authentic self, you just lost her for a long while. It’s time to call her back home.

Look, I’m not there yet, maybe you aren’t either, but perhaps…..Soon Enuff.

PS: Hey friends, I’m putting together a 10 day free challenge to “A more present you in 2021.” If you’d like to join me, I’ll teach you some invaluable things I wish I’d known at the start of my journey to live more present and more fulfilled. Just click the link below 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/5fd61e12716e9e688e07cb70

A Pause in Normality….

A New Normal

As I reflected on all that’s been going on I started to realize that Covid-19, as awful as it is, has also brought some much needed light to a lot of things that were already happening. We’ve just been too busy or blind, or whatever you want to call it to see it before now.

I do not want, in any way, to minimize how awful this virus is, but I do want to bring a positive light to this pandemic, as this truly is an opportunity to change the way we move forward from here. What will it look like as states start to “re-open?” Will we continue down the road we’ve been on, or will we look at what’s not working and do our best to make a change?

Today as I was scrolling through social media I came upon a post that said something to this effect: “If I see one more person talking about how they’re growing a garden, or making their own baby food or making their own dog food or learning to cook or sew, etc. I’m going to delete them.”  It occurred to me that there is a battle of sorts between who wants to get back to their “normal lives” and those, like myself, who realize, that “normal” was not working, and we are seeking a “new normal.”

What is Normal

This virus has brought to light the control that the government has over us all.  They have mandated that we cannot leave our homes unless it is for “essential” things.  The thing is, who are they to decide what is essential?  I can tell you that going to fast food restaurants is not essential for me.  But you know what is….. yoga class for my mental and physical well being.  Being able to see my Physical Therapist, since I had surgery just 3 months ago.  Talking one on one with my therapist. All these things weren’t even of any value to My President.  This was a real eye opener for me.

Back in October of 2019 my grandfather passed away and I have been in deep contemplation over the process ever since.  Long before this virus we were already tossing our grandparents and parents into nursing homes or assisted living homes because we are too busy to take care of them or because we simply cannot stand the process of aging and want to hide it away as much as we can.  Now with Covid-19 it is shedding light on how dire the situation actually is.  We have locked the elderly away even further, allowing no visitors.  The caretakers are wearing masks and gloves and there is little to no interaction with the patients.  Mind you, like my grandmother, some are paying 5,000 a month to live like this.  I have asked myself at what point do I decide it’s “safe enough” to go and visit her or try to bring her home with me.  And I wonder what price we are putting on death? My grandmother is 88 years old and when I asked her about it, she said she would give anything for a visit from family.  Someone to just watch TV or read or play a game with her.  She would rather us bring Covid-19 to her, which would most likely kill her. Because as she stated, “The life I”m living is worse than death.”

Another thing Covid-19 has brought to light is this whole social distancing thing.  Are you kidding? We’ve already been social distancing.  How many times do you see families out in public, each on their cell phones? How many parents are having to work 60-80 hours a week and not spending any time with their own children? Social distancing isn’t new, but it is definitely something I don’t want to see increased as part of a “new normal.”

Covid-19 has brought more light on “sanitizing” as well.  For years scientists have been saying that in order to fight off viruses we need to be introduced to a certain amount of bacteria.  Yet for years we’ve been saturating our lives with sanitizers.  Kids no longer play outside without rubbing on hand sanitizer, let alone play with one another.  Our immune systems can only function by interacting with all life and if we never allow any bacteria to be introduced into our life we can’t fight viruses off.  My fear is that we’ll continue to build on this and the new normal will be wearing masks anytime we leave our homes, only furthering our inability to introduce good/bad bacteria to our bodies.

If you think that “normal” was working and that things have been improving for our planet I’d like you do to some research. The obesity rate in the U.S. has risen from 35.7 in 2010 to a whopping 42.4% in 2019.  Suicide has increased 35%  and is now the 10th leading cause of death….10th!!  1 in 6 Americans are now prescribed some type of anti-depressant medication.  Over 11 million children live in “food insecure” homes. 60,000 families with children are homeless on any given night in the U.S. This isn’t a normal we should be proud of, this is a normal we should be leaving behind.

I think it’s awesome some of the things that have been done to help the world right now.  Celebrities coming out with very cool challenges to raise money for Covid-19 relief, government getting a few grants and unemployment out there, (though it is far too little help in my opinion.) But the thing is the majority of these problems were here before Covid-19. Children going hungry, homelessness, our elderly, farming in America, the fast food industry, global crisis, etc. These things were there before, they just aren’t talked about.  We don’t see a daily briefing on all these things, therefore we tend to remain blind to them.  I hope that this pandemic has opened your eyes as it has mine, and that we can move forward and keep the efforts to help heal the earth and each other going and not just stop and become complacent once again after the “all clear alarm” has been sound.

A New Normal

It’s very difficult to wade through these muddy waters.  We don’t really know who or what to believe.  But I implore you, before we all just get “back to normal” let’s take this pause in normality to make new decisions.  We don’t have to remain stuck in old beliefs. This is a time we need to broaden our thinking, seek out answers, find a more sustainable life for ourselves, our families and our communities.

I would love to see your new ideas: Your gardens, your recipes for healthy eating, your exercise routines, your ideas for a better way of life. Your ideas on how to help your own families your own communities.  It’s impossible to save the whole world.  When you look at it on that big of a scope it’s too hard to even fathom.  However, if you start with yourself, your own home, your own kids, your own pets, your own health, your own community or neighborhood, that’s where we can all make a difference.  And once we each start to make a difference, that’s when we create a new and better world.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my grand children or great grand children to wonder what a hand shake meant or what a hug felt like.  I want us all to be healthy, healthy enough to fight off these diseases that are undoubtedly going to continue to come.  And that all starts at home. If the fast food industry is your kitchen, please, please, look at your own health, especially what you’re feeding your body and then help others learn what you are learning.  How else can we show compassion for each other?  How else can we help each other become better?

Peace & love

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

I am a Certified Master Life Coach with specialities in Happiness Therapy and Psychological Abuse Recovery.

I am a published author.  My poetry book, “Soon Enuff” can be found worldwide on Amazon.

Subscribe to my blog to receive updates via email @amereelynne45@gmail.com

**A Personal Normal Note

My family has taken this time to learn how to build three raised gardens.  We will be able to grow enough vegetables to sustain us through the summer and probably through most of the winter.  We are learning to cook healthy vegan meals, that make us feel so much better.  We are learning about what types of foods can heal us without prescription medication.  It’s important for us to look into the nursing home situation a lot more in depth.  It has become important for us to look into the kids that are going hungry in our area and see what we can do about it.  These are the types of things I want to move forward with as part of my new normal.  Not because it will make my life immediately better or that I’ll see a profound change, but because for us, this is what’s important. I am not trying to “toot my own horn,” I’m sharing with you because I want you to share with me.

 

Searching for Peace

Where has your peace gone

You know today the world is ever so busy.  Rushing around all day, sitting in traffic, checking emails, checking social media, dealing with kids, employees, spouses, lovers, friends, it can all be overwhelming at times.

Is it any wonder we don’t feel much peace in our lives?  Psychology Today calls it Hurry Sickness. By definition, hurry sickness is “a behavior pattern characterized by continual rushing and anxiousness; an overwhelming and continual sense of urgency.”

Saying no to giving your peace away

So how do we cure “Hurry Sickness?” You can start by prioritizing things in your life.  What is really important for me to do today.  Don’t forget to add some “Me Time” to your list.  Start working on time management.  Maybe you need to wake up a few minutes early to enjoy a little quiet time with your coffee, a good book, writing in a journal, exercising. Leave for work a bit early to avoid traffic. Start saying no, stop giving so many pieces of yourself away.  Maybe you say no to baking cookies for the bake sale because it means you have to stay up an hour later and get an hour less sleep. That’s detrimental to your health, don’t do it.  Start letting others help you.  Ask your spouse, family, friends, lovers to help support you a little more.  If you don’t let others know what you need, they can’t read your mind, they’ll just keep taking the pieces of you that you’re giving.

Find your Peace once more

One thing I like to do on the weekends, or whatever day I have free during the week, is to get outside.  If I can get away on a short road trip to do some photography, or go on a hike, even better.  But even if it’s just to my own front porch, I will sit outside and just watch the birds, listen to them singing.  Notice the world around me and how beautiful it is.  Remind myself how lucky I am to be here in this moment of peace out in nature.  Take some deep breaths, do a little meditating, talk positive about myself to myself.  You see positivity in any situation can make things more peaceful.  So next time you catch yourself taking on more then you should or you start to feel overwhelmed and stressed, stop, just stop for a few seconds.  Re-evaluate what you’re doing in the moment and then make some decisions.  If you don’t start finding ways to be at peace, the “Hurry Sickness” can literally kill you.  Take back your life, stop giving so many pieces of yourself away, and find your peace once more.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Peace & Love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff.  Available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certifed Life Coach with specialities in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy, as well as a Certified Relationship Facilitator.  You may email me amereelynne45@gmail.com

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Self Love

Loving Yourself

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’ve been extremely hateful to myself for the last couple of weeks. I’ve talked negatively to myself, which I know better then to do. I’ve not showered, I’ve been lazy, I’ve withdrawn from friends and family. And well, today, I’m putting a stop to it.  A stop to the punishing of myself for things out of my control.  Because after all, we can’t control everything that happens. But what we can control is how we feel in the moment of what’s happening. We can choose to be as happy or as sad as we want to.  We can choose to make ourselves feel better or worse simply by changing the words we speak to ourselves.

Loving Words of Affirmation

We are harder on ourselves then any other person could ever be. The words we say to ourselves inside our own minds hurt us more then the words of everyone else.  Start speaking words of affirmation to yourself instead of words of negativity.  Here are a few examples:  Okay, so it’s raining outside.  Instead of saying, “Ugh, it’s so dreary, I’m going to be so down today because of this rain.” Try saying, “It’s raining outside, I’ll find something fun to do today inside to brighten my mood.” You know, it is what it is.  It’s just rain.  It’s not dreary, it’s not gloomy, it’s just rain.  Here’s another one: “I look terrible. The lines on my face are getting deeper, my clothes are so tight they’re uncomfortable, I’ve gotten so fat and out of shape.” Replace that with, “I will start getting more sleep, drinking more water and less caffeine.  Today I’ll make some better food choices, and get back onto my workout plan.  Not because I look terrible, but because working out and eating right feels good, puts me in a better mood, and is so healthy for me and I love me.”

So you get the idea…It’s not that you won’t have negative thoughts, you will, we all do.  And a big mistake a lot of us make is we just try not to think that way.  But what’s important is that you take that negative thought, remove it, and replace it.  If you don’t replace your negative thought with a positive one, you’ll continue to repeat the negative thought.  Throw it out, stomp on it, but then replace it and smile.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff, which is available worldwide on Amazon.

I am a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at: amereelynne45@gmail.com

Follow and like my blog to receive updates and important information 🙂

 

 

The Moon & Me

Affects of the Moon on Emotions

The Full moon can cause violent behavior.  There have been studies proving that there are more incidents of homicide and aggravated assaults around a full moon.  While not everyone will turn violent, I have definitely noticed that I tend to be more aggravated and quick to anger in the days approaching a full moon.

Full Moon can lead to a lack of sleep which affects your moods.  Ever notice a few days before a full moon you suddenly start waking up earlier or not being able to fall asleep? Studies have shown that we tend to experience less time spent in the deepest phase of sleep nearing a full moon, which then affects our moods.

Full Moon can make you feel more introspective.  Have you ever noticed a few days before the full moon you start to reflect more on your life and what’s happening in it?

A full moon can make you feel more anxious, it brings about more energy and unless you’re doing something with that extra energy it can cause nervousness, make you feel manic, and cause nightmares.

The full moon can make you go from being very loving to very combative, which in turn, can make you feel crazy.

The Moon & Emotions

I think the best thing we can do for ourselves is keep track of the moon phases.  Be mindful of the days before a New Moon or Full Moon.  Become more aware of what’s causing you to feel a certain way, especially when it’s out of character.  The one thing I’ve made the mistake of is not realizing until it was too late, like the moon is already full.  I wonder why I’ve been insane for the past week. Too quick to anger, totally out of control at times, not sleeping well.  Feeling “frisky, like really frisky,” and then just as quickly not wanting anything to do with anyone.  Then all of a sudden, I’m like, oh, the moon is full tonight, and the next morning I feel fully released, back to normal.

Hope this helps with some of the things you find yourself struggling with.  The great thing about the moon is that it does tend to bring things to the surface.  If you can keep control of your emotions by realizing what’s causing them, you can benefit from the moons phases greatly.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

Peace & love,

Amy

I am a published author of the book, “Soon Enuff.” Available worldwide on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving psychological abuse and happiness therapy.

You may email me at amereelynne45@gmail.com

Follow and like this blog to receive updates and alerts 🙂

Struggles of an Empath

An Empaths struggle is real

On one shoulder sits the empath and on the other the bitch and I’m torn between walking away and trying harder.

As an empath it’s really a struggle to know when I’ve done enough. I give too many chances, love to hard, show too much kindness. Sometimes it literally feels like it’s draining my soul.

Apathy or Empathy

So when is enough enough? When is it time to be a little more apathetic and a little less empathetic? You know I use the term bitch as the opposite of empath but it’s not being a bitch to remove yourself from someone or a situation that is draining you.

empath

Sometimes it’s necessary to your mental health, to your own well being to just get the fuck away from someone that is draining you spiritually and mentally. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

There’s no doubt you’ve given it all you could. You’ve probably loved too hard, shown too much kindness, and given everything you have to give, and you know what, for some that will never be Enuff.  That’s when you know, come on, you’ve probably always known, it’s time to exit their lives and to keep a strong distance. Do it for yourself, cause you should love yourself as much as you keep loving everyone else.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Peace & love,

Amy

 

I am a published author of the book, Soon Enuff. Available on Amazon.

I’m also a Certified Life Coach with specialties in surviving Psychological Abuse and Happiness Therapy.

You may email me at amereelynne45@gmail.com

I’d appreciate your follow, like and subscribing to my blog for updates and alerts on new posts.