The Art of Being Okay…

Are You Okay?

Have you ever really thought about how you need your life to be in order to be okay? Have you thought about how often you are attempting to create safety and control by defining how you need life to be in order to be okay? I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking, though we all do it, is how the world becomes a frightening place.

While attempting to be in control doesn’t sound frightening, it is. When you think this way, life becomes “me against life” very quickly. We all have fears and instead of facing them and letting them pass, we try to create scenarios in which we never have to face our fears. We start to feel like this person isn’t acting the way they should, and this event is not unfolding the way you want it to. You see your past as disturbing and your future loaded with potential problems. You even have set definitions of desirable and undesirable, good and bad, and they all came about because of your need of how you feel things need to be in order to be okay.

Is Your Fear Okay?

So how is it that we come to this idea that life isn’t okay just how it is? Or that it won’t be okay the way it will be? Who taught us that the way life naturally unfolds isn’t all right? Well the answer is ….Fear! Most people don’t understand that fear is just a thing. Another object in the world that we are all capable of experiencing. And we choose to do one of two things with fear: We recognize we have it, and thus, start working on it, or we keep it inside and try to hide from it. The problem is, life is ever changing, and so at some point something will eventually trigger your fear, no matter how safe you try to keep yourself and how in control you attempt to be at orchestrating your life.

The easiest thing to do is stop fighting against life. When life pushes you to the edge, and you feel that fear creeping up inside you, simply recognize it for what it is. It’s an object. The fear is not who you are, you are the one recognizing that you have the fear. If you can look at your fear from a state of mental clarity, you can make the best decision in the moment and the fear will pass. The problem occurs when you let the fear distract you and draw you in. When this happens, you can become totally lost in the fear. It could last a few moments, hours, days and sometimes even years. Once you become lost in the fear, things head down hill quickly. Many times when we are lost thoughts come into our minds that want to get us out of here as quickly as possible. You may start packing your bags, quit your job, or begin verbally abusing someone that happens to be near by. The thing is, any decision made out of fear, without mental clarity isn’t going to be a good decision at all. Most assuredly, you are going to regret any decisions made when you are lost in fear. See fear is okay, if you learn to let it pass, and it will pass. But the moment you don’t, well….then fear isn’t okay anymore.

Letting Go from the Beginning is the Best Way to Stay Okay

So what if you had let the fear/disturbance go right from the beginning? What if no matter what happened, you just turned your eyes upward and relaxed your heart? What if you could stay in that place of mental clarity, staying present in the moment, and just watching your fear or whatever disturbance come and go. You see if you don’t give it your attention, it can’t disrupt your energy, it can’t draw you in. But if you do fall, don’t worry, just get yourself back up and move along as soon as possible. Always, always, try to let go as soon as you’re aware that you’ve gotten drawn in. You’ll undoubtedly have ups and downs along the way, we all do, but this can be a great reminder that whatever is holding you down, fear, jealousy, loneliness, can become the source that eventually raises you up.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff….

Sincerely,

Amy Lopez

Check out the tab above to find my books, “Present Ground” and “Soon Enuff,” as well as free PDF’s on how to live a more present life.

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