The Art of Being Okay…

Are You Okay?

Have you ever really thought about how you need your life to be in order to be okay? Have you thought about how often you are attempting to create safety and control by defining how you need life to be in order to be okay? I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking, though we all do it, is how the world becomes a frightening place.

While attempting to be in control doesn’t sound frightening, it is. When you think this way, life becomes “me against life” very quickly. We all have fears and instead of facing them and letting them pass, we try to create scenarios in which we never have to face our fears. We start to feel like this person isn’t acting the way they should, and this event is not unfolding the way you want it to. You see your past as disturbing and your future loaded with potential problems. You even have set definitions of desirable and undesirable, good and bad, and they all came about because of your need of how you feel things need to be in order to be okay.

Is Your Fear Okay?

So how is it that we come to this idea that life isn’t okay just how it is? Or that it won’t be okay the way it will be? Who taught us that the way life naturally unfolds isn’t all right? Well the answer is ….Fear! Most people don’t understand that fear is just a thing. Another object in the world that we are all capable of experiencing. And we choose to do one of two things with fear: We recognize we have it, and thus, start working on it, or we keep it inside and try to hide from it. The problem is, life is ever changing, and so at some point something will eventually trigger your fear, no matter how safe you try to keep yourself and how in control you attempt to be at orchestrating your life.

The easiest thing to do is stop fighting against life. When life pushes you to the edge, and you feel that fear creeping up inside you, simply recognize it for what it is. It’s an object. The fear is not who you are, you are the one recognizing that you have the fear. If you can look at your fear from a state of mental clarity, you can make the best decision in the moment and the fear will pass. The problem occurs when you let the fear distract you and draw you in. When this happens, you can become totally lost in the fear. It could last a few moments, hours, days and sometimes even years. Once you become lost in the fear, things head down hill quickly. Many times when we are lost thoughts come into our minds that want to get us out of here as quickly as possible. You may start packing your bags, quit your job, or begin verbally abusing someone that happens to be near by. The thing is, any decision made out of fear, without mental clarity isn’t going to be a good decision at all. Most assuredly, you are going to regret any decisions made when you are lost in fear. See fear is okay, if you learn to let it pass, and it will pass. But the moment you don’t, well….then fear isn’t okay anymore.

Letting Go from the Beginning is the Best Way to Stay Okay

So what if you had let the fear/disturbance go right from the beginning? What if no matter what happened, you just turned your eyes upward and relaxed your heart? What if you could stay in that place of mental clarity, staying present in the moment, and just watching your fear or whatever disturbance come and go. You see if you don’t give it your attention, it can’t disrupt your energy, it can’t draw you in. But if you do fall, don’t worry, just get yourself back up and move along as soon as possible. Always, always, try to let go as soon as you’re aware that you’ve gotten drawn in. You’ll undoubtedly have ups and downs along the way, we all do, but this can be a great reminder that whatever is holding you down, fear, jealousy, loneliness, can become the source that eventually raises you up.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff….

Sincerely,

Amy Lopez

Check out the tab above to find my books, “Present Ground” and “Soon Enuff,” as well as free PDF’s on how to live a more present life.

I AM

“I am the way, the truth, the life.” Know who said that? Correct, his name was Jesus. He also said, “All things I do and greater things you will also do.” You see, Jesus is the personification of pure consciousness. I Am, is the way, the truth, the life.

I AM more than the person

If you only know yourself as the person: the mother, the wife, the daughter, the school teacher, the nurse, the doctor, the girlfriend, the sister, etc. then you are disillusioned. What happens when you are no longer the mother? Your child passes, or they simply grow up and don’t need you in the same way? What happens if your spouse passes or leaves you? What happens when your parents pass away and you are no longer the daughter? What happens when you lose your job and are no longer the Dr., teacher, nurse? What should happen is a grieving period but you are never lost. Because who you are, your true essence isn’t tied to any of those things. You are still you, you are still present. Your true essence is The I AM. All these other titles emerge from that. You are pure consciousness. Only when you know your essence identity can you fulfill your true purpose.

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly, it already is the butterfly. The butterfly emerges from the caterpillar.

A deeper sense of purpose

We can all align ourselves with the deeper purpose of the universe. It’s not a religion, it’s a realization. When you learn to stay present in each moment, it’s the most freeing feeling. I like to think of my, I Am, as a beautiful mystical figure that sits in the center of my chest, my soul. This is where it watches all that is going on around me and in me. I see the thoughts and I let them go. I watch conflicts arise and can choose my reactions from a place of consciousness instead of reacting unconsciously. I watch the wife emerge from me as I take care of my husband and home. I smile as the mother emerges and sends my grown children funny or inspirational messages. I delight as the coach emerges from me and teaches others around me. But I don’t attach myself to these things. I know at some point they will all be gone. And I know that what will remain is me, I am.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, together, we’ll get there “Soon Enuff.”

Sincerely,

Amy

If you’d like to read more inspirational quotes that help inspire you to live a more present life, my book, “Present Ground” is on sale this month. You can find it by clicking on the above tab or worldwide on Amazon!

Thinking Backwards

“It’s something that I thought I’d never say, but today,

I think I’m going to think backwards.” –Amy Lopez–

A backwards day

When I wake up in the morning I always enjoy a few minutes of silence while looking out the window, or if the weather is nice, I sit outside, getting some much needed morning light on my face. I am very present and try not to let my thoughts about all the things I need to get done today take over my mind. But recently I thought I’d experiment with something new.

Instead of thinking about what I needed to get done first, I thought about how I want to feel when I climb back into my comfy bed tonight at the end of the day. I want to feel satisfied and happy with all the choices I make today. I want to feel at peace and worry free. And then I went backwards.

Backwise Planning

I’ll give you an example of what I like to call “backwise planning.” Around 10:00pm I slip into my comfy pj’s and do a little night time yoga. A nice stretch for my hips and back. At 9:00pm I turn my phone to “Do Not Disturb” and stay off social media and email. At 8:30 I cozy up on the couch and watch a program on tv. At 8:00 I start to dim the lights around the house. At 7:30 as soon as I get home from work, I wash my face and have a nice cup of decaffeinated bedtime chai. Between 3-7pm while I’m at work I have so much fun with the kids at the gym. I react to the parents coming into my facility with gratitude and am present with each person speaking to me. Between 10am and 2pm I enjoy my day. A nice workout to get my cardio up then yoga to calm down and relax. I eat good and choose only the foods that I know are going to be healthy for me. All my interactions are conscious ones. I don’t open my mouth without thinking first. Between 8am-10am I enjoy my morning coffee/tea and reading/writing. I do a short meditation and some breathwork. I sit outside for at least 10 minutes, weather permitting, if not I look out the window at the beautiful morning I’ve been given.

You see, if you have a goal in mind, it makes it much easier to stay in that mindset all day. Basically, you are present in each moment. When things start to get stressful with your kids or at your job, think about your goal of feeling at peace and then make your reactions conscious ones. That’s ultimately the only way to go to bed at night happy and satisfied with the choices you made, with the reactions you had to outside circumstances. It’s the only way to peace.

I recently read a book and highly recommend it, “Active Hope,” by Joanna Macey & Chris Johnstone. In one section Joanna talks about thinking about what your preferred future looks like in say, 30 years. Then starting there in the future and working backwards to help you see how to get there. And it made me wonder why this same concept wouldn’t work daily, and well, it does work! I hope this idea helps you too!

If you’d like more ideas on how to live a more present life, check out my course “10 Days to a More Present You.” It’s available by clicking the tab Course Library.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff…

Amy

If you’re interested, here is the link to the book, Active Hope. https://www.activehope.info/

The Journey

Journey Alone

I hope no one ever promised you it would be easy….you see, the most important journey, my love, is done alone.

Phases of the Journey

You’ll go through phases of sadness when you realize things should have been different. You’ll struggle with some realities you never knew before. You’ll uncover secrets that you’ll wish would have stay buried. But in the end, the journey to finding who you truly are, well, that starts right now.

The real journey is always right now

Regardless of your past, regardless how you were raised, regardless of previous relationships….right here, right now in this moment is where you decide your next step, you decide what your story will be today. So do the necessary work to let go of the past, to use what you learn as possible lessons moving forward, but don’t dwell there. Tell your mind to move along. Experience the sadness, even the happiness of past memories and then leave them where they belong…..

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there, Soon Enuff.

“The most important journey, my love, is done alone.”

-Amy Lopez-

Life’s not Static

Life isn’t static and neither are your life choices

So many struggle with feeling like they’re out of place or that they’re not doing what they are supposed to be doing. This happens to us all at some point. It happens to those that have spent years and years in college or years and years in training to be in a profession that at one point they felt called to be in. And guess what…..it’s totally normal!

Life is in constant motion. Everyday brings about change. So why would we ever think our Life Purpose wouldn’t change? Now it may be that your Life Purpose is similar, maybe you’ve always felt called to “Help others.” And perhaps you began as a therapist, but now you’re feeling called to quit the job force and write self help books. Maybe you were a Doctor in a prestigious hospital but now you feel called to travel to foreign countries and give your services for free. The list is endless. The point is, sometimes we need to say goodbye to callings too.

Your life purpose doesn’t necessarily stay the same.

There can be goodbyes to callings too.” -Amy Lopez-

Follow your dreams

It’s okay to say goodbye to what you thought would be your life long purpose. It’s okay to start new. And it’s okay if you start new many many times. I think it’s important to listen to your intuition, to meditate on what is calling you and then to pursue your passions with everything you’ve got in you.

After all, life is meant to be lived out loud, to be lived in the present moment. And in the present moment we can’t see into the future. All we can do is what we feel called to do right now, maybe that changes tomorrow and maybe it doesn’t.

If you’d like help with discovering your life purpose in this moment schedule an appointment with me, I’d be glad to discuss with you 🙂

Cause we’re not there yet, but perhaps together we will be, Soon Enuff…..

https://linktr.ee/amylopez

The Power of Acceptance

Explore your Power

As a young woman I often wondered how some did it. How were they just happy most of the time. How did they get over a break up and just move on to the next one with seemingly no emotions? How did they handle the accident that took their loved one and just kept going? How can they be wheel chair bound after being so athletic and still seem so filled with joy? After years of studying this, while I myself struggled with so many life situations, I found the answer is Acceptance.

So I can already hear some of you now….”If I accept a situation then I’m giving up!” Let me start right off with saying that Acceptance of the situation is not the same as giving up. You can accept a situation and still choose to make changes. So throw that notion right out the door 🙂

How can we Harness the Power of Acceptance

So how do we do it? How do we accept things when we simply don’t want to?

Acknowledge, explore, embrace. These three things are key. You see the problem is unless we acknowledge the reality of our life in this moment we can’t accept it, we just keep believing a lie. If we never explore our feelings, and we just push them away every time they come up, then we can never deal with them and leave them in the past. And until we embrace the reality we are in right now, until we fully accept it, we can’t decide what to do about it. You see change comes when you accept things as they are. Once you accept them, you decide what to do with them or about them.

“When was the last time you explored your feelings

instead of pushing them away….” -Amy-

It’s not easy, and it definitely takes some work but the process is truly transformational.

The Transformational Power of Acceptance

I’ve put together a four week course with every day exercises to teach you the Transformational Power of Acceptance.

We’ll learn acceptance in everyday little things: the mundane tasks that you dread, the relationships you’re struggling with, your career, your life path, aging, children. I’ll teach you skills that can apply to every life situation.

I am living proof of the transformation and I can’t wait to work with you through this course! I hope you’ll check it out 🙂

Cause we’re not there, but perhaps together, we’ll get there “Soon Enuff!”

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/602d3a9d54e757e2524dbcdd

Self Sabotage

Are you sabotaging your own happiness….

“If there’s one thing I know to be true it’s that we will sabotage our own happiness until we heal and realize we are worth loving….” -Amy Lopez-

Ways we Sabotage…..

Have you ever found yourself floating along blissfully in life? Relationships, work, family, income, everything is going great. Then suddenly, it’s like this little flash goes off in your head and a voice whispers, barely even audible, “This all can’t be happening, you know you don’t deserve this….” and then you start to believe that little voice. You start to get anxious, maybe depressed, and before you know it that voice is telling you, “Let’s fuck it up like we always do.”

Now this voice is probably in your sub-conscious, you don’t actually hear it, and you don’t even know that you are unintentionally starting to fuck things up. Maybe you start getting more argumentative for no reason, just because, well, drama feels more normal to you. Or maybe you start getting ideas of hanging out with people you know are trouble for you. You know, just to cause some unnecessary chaos in your life. Maybe you start talking to someone from your past. You know, because well, your partner hasn’t been paying enough attention to you, so you kind of want to fuck that relationship up too. While all this is a little funny to read, it’s actually really what happens!

One of the worst parts about this cycle is that we don’t just hurt ourselves and sabotage our own happiness, we hurt and sabotage the lives and happiness of those that love us. They are like the innocent by standers in a long drawn out horror film. But why do we do this? Why do we self sabotage? What causes this behavior and how can we stop it before it starts next time?

Answers to Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is caused by self worth, or should I say, lack of it. When we don’t love ourselves, our minds just can’t comprehend that things can be good for too long. When we have past trauma that we haven’t healed from, we continue to carry it into every aspect of our lives. Our relationships, romantic or work related, family, friends, it’s all going to suffer because our minds can’t distinguish the past from the present. We think it’s happened to us so many times, that’s it’s just how life is, it’s not going to change. We don’t realize that essentially we are the ones continuing the cycle. It’s us that refuses to change. You see our ego is so identified with this Victim mentality that it thinks it’s who we are. We are the victim. Our victim ego needs to be fed. So when things are going great, our victim ego is starving. Hungry for drama, for stress, for anxiety. And since life isn’t providing it ample food, our own minds start devise a way to sabotage, to feed our victim mentality. But there is a way out!!

Self help for Sabotage

There is a way out of this of course. Once you realize you have a problem, you’re half way there. Once you realize that you need to deal with some past trauma and that it’s actually your Victim Ego causing you to self sabotage you can change it. The best way….starve that ego. Once you start to give no attention to something it slowly starts to disappear until one day it is gone forever. This will take time and perseverance. It starts with recognizing that you are the problem. It’s the way you’re choosing to respond to life. Life is giving amazing things, showing you love, giving you beautiful gifts, but how are you responding?

Start a gratitude journal. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes the very act of writing down what you’re grateful for, like actually seeing it in black and white right in front of you makes you realize it’s all real. I do this every single morning.

Write some affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements used to replace negative thinking. “I am a loving person and I am loved in return.” “I understand my need to feel loved and protected and so I show that love and protection to those in my life.” You get the idea……

Stay Present. This may be the number one rule of my life, and I hope yours as well. By staying in the present moment we begin to realize the past has no bearing on us any longer. All the trauma from the past is past. We don’t have to let it continue to ruin our futures. Our life is always only right now, in this very moment. And in this very moment you are okay, you are loved, you are beautiful, and most important, you are worthy.

The thing is, until you heal and realize you’re worth loving you literally can’t continue to show love to anyone else. You’re going to continue self sabotaging your own happiness and that happiness of those around you. Start today.

If you’d like help in this area, I’m here for you. You could schedule a short coffee break with me or a longer session. The link to scheduling is listed below….

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

Live Present,

Amy

Did you know I have a brand new free course available on Manifestations/Affirmations. What they are and how and when to use them. Check it out before it’s gone 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c

Watch your Problems….

Can you watch your problems instead of getting lost in them?

Problems aren’t generally what they appear to be. You see the real problem is to deal with our reactions to what we believe the problem is. It’s hard to deal with life situations (problems) if you’re feeling anxious, scared, angry, or upset. But can you pull back a bit, just watch your problem before you get totally lost in it?

Problem watching can be a great mindfulness practice!

Once you stop for a moment and look to your inside consciousness instead of to what’s going on on the outside you may find where the change needs to take place. You may even find that the “problem” you thought was coming from something in the world or someone else in the world is actually coming from inside yourself.

Ask yourself questions like, “Where am I feeling this jealousy?” “What am I really angry about?” “What part of my body am I feeling the anxiety in?” Get into a quiet space where you can go deeper. Be mindful of where you’re feeling these emotions. Because remember emotions without a story will just come and go if you let them. If you can stop the narrative inside your mind, just get quiet for even a few moments, do a little self discovery. It’s always a good practice to look inside first. We lay too much blame just strive to get to the truth, to get to the root.

Remember this week…..try just watching your problems instead of becoming lost in them 🙂

“If you define the problem correctly, you almost have the solution.” -Steve Jobs-

Cause we’re not there yet…but perhaps, Soon Enuff!

Live Present,

Amy

Hey guys I have a brand new course out, and it’s absolutely FREE!! If you want to learn the difference between a manifestation and an affirmation and when and how to use each, just click below!

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c

If you’d like to go a little deeper, I’d love to set up a one on one coffee break appointment with you :). Click the link below.

https://linktr.ee/AmyLopez

Are You Really Lost

Feeling lost doesn’t mean you are…

You know our minds don’t like to feel out of control. They want to know everything that is happening and why. So when they don’t know all the answers, they start to spin thoughts in our head. We start to feel lost, as if maybe we aren’t going in the right direction with whatever it is that we’re doing. But remember, our thoughts are not to be trusted and are honestly seldom even true. So the emotions that our thoughts produce aren’t to be relied on.

Find a quiet space to really get lost in…

Okay, lol, you won’t really be lost, but a quiet space, especially in nature can declutter your mind and stop your thoughts for a few moments. If nature isn’t available, sit in quiet and focus on your breathing, breathing in to a 4 count, breathing out to a 6 count for a few times until you feel relaxed and thoughts aren’t totally taking you over. It doesn’t mean thoughts don’t come, they will, but you just let them without getting into them, let them come and go, because your thoughts in this moment are going to be on why you’re feeling lost. You need to go deeper, find the awareness and ask yourself what’s really going on. Whatever the situation is, look for the truth in it. Ask yourself, “Am I truly lost, or are my thoughts spinning a narrative to make me panic and stress about something.”

So what if you are a little lost…

Listen, we’ve all been there. Feeling a little lost is nothing new, millions experience it everyday. But once you’ve become aware of what’s really going on you can make a choice. In your awareness did you discover that in fact, yes, you are a little lost and need to perhaps shift in what you’ve been doing? Great, then do that. There’s nothing wrong with that. Take a few steps back, start again. It never means you’re totally lost, it means, you need to change directions a bit, as hard or as simple as that may be, that is your choice. Is your awareness telling you that it was simply your thoughts causing you to doubt yourself, but you know instinctively that you are indeed going in the right direction? Great, then keep going. It’s okay that you felt unsure for a time, but now, you’ve experienced the truth and you go with it. Don’t forget,

Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered

without getting lost….” -Erol Ozan-

Lost or Found, it’s your Story…

The main thing to remember here is to stay present as much as you can. It’s only when our thoughts turn to the past or the future that anxiety and panic sink in. If you are staying present and working on what you can in the moment, you are really never lost. Look, it’s your story, you’re the only writer. You may need to edit often, but hey, that’s life, it’s all about making choices and once you learn better choices you make those.

Hey Guys! Want to learn the difference between a manifestation and an affirmation? I have a free teaching guide to help you understand them and when to use each. Just click the link below 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c

Cause we aren’t there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…

Live Present,

Amy

For my books, podcast, challenges or to schedule a one on one appointment with me click the link below:

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Tools of Choice

How do you choose

Contrary to popular belief, a choice is not a thing, it’s not a noun. A choice is an action you take, a verb. Options are things. And while we can’t always choose all our options, we are the only one that can choose which option to take.

In our society it seems that more means better. Work more hours, volunteer more, make more, see more, do more, always more. The problem is, often the more we do, the less we do. What I mean here is, you can do anything you want, but you can’t do everything. The more you push yourself in one hundred directions, the less you end up doing. You can only give so much of yourself to any one given project. If you’re working on 100 things then you’re only going to be giving 10 percent of yourself to each of those things.

So what tools do we have to help us with the plethora of options we’re given each day? How do we know we are making the right choices? (taking the right actions.) Here’s a 3 tools I have learned that help me with making life choices:

*Be Present (mindful)

When you are living in the present moment and are presented with an option you are more aware of what choice needs to be made. You aren’t concerned with how something turned out in the past, or worried about what this option may or may not turn out to be in the future. You are only aware of what choice you should make for the moment you’re in. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think ahead, it means you’re primary focus is on what action you need to take right now, your secondary focus is how will this action affect something in the future.

*Practice Discernment

The problem is we are presented with so many things each day. Some that are easy to discern, we can plainly see they aren’t worth our time. However, what about when we’re presented with several good or great options? We need some real discernment to know when to say no to a good opportunity. What are some questions you can think of to practice discernment? For me, I try to ask myself, “Would this option be vital to my business or my way of life.” Even if it’s a great option, it may not be a vital option.

*Give & Take

Try to remember there is a give & take for every option. If you are unaware of this you’re going to find yourself in some trouble by way of stress. You’ll be over worked, agitated, and most likely you’ll find you’re not doing a very good job. The key is to ask yourself this questions, “If I take on this project/option what will I need to give up to make it work?” Because the thing is, you can do anything you want to, but you cannot do it everything. So when we take on something new, we need to realize something else has got to go or be put on hold for awhile.

If you’d like a great book to read on this subject, “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown is amazing!!

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy Lopez

I have a live 60-90 minute workshop coming on January 25th! Would love to have you join me. For $40 I’ll be giving you invaluable tools to “Multiply Healthy Habits with Intention.

You may register here :

https://calendly.com/grounded-inthe-present/multiply-healthy-habits-with-intention