The Art of Being Okay…

Are You Okay?

Have you ever really thought about how you need your life to be in order to be okay? Have you thought about how often you are attempting to create safety and control by defining how you need life to be in order to be okay? I’m here to tell you that this way of thinking, though we all do it, is how the world becomes a frightening place.

While attempting to be in control doesn’t sound frightening, it is. When you think this way, life becomes “me against life” very quickly. We all have fears and instead of facing them and letting them pass, we try to create scenarios in which we never have to face our fears. We start to feel like this person isn’t acting the way they should, and this event is not unfolding the way you want it to. You see your past as disturbing and your future loaded with potential problems. You even have set definitions of desirable and undesirable, good and bad, and they all came about because of your need of how you feel things need to be in order to be okay.

Is Your Fear Okay?

So how is it that we come to this idea that life isn’t okay just how it is? Or that it won’t be okay the way it will be? Who taught us that the way life naturally unfolds isn’t all right? Well the answer is ….Fear! Most people don’t understand that fear is just a thing. Another object in the world that we are all capable of experiencing. And we choose to do one of two things with fear: We recognize we have it, and thus, start working on it, or we keep it inside and try to hide from it. The problem is, life is ever changing, and so at some point something will eventually trigger your fear, no matter how safe you try to keep yourself and how in control you attempt to be at orchestrating your life.

The easiest thing to do is stop fighting against life. When life pushes you to the edge, and you feel that fear creeping up inside you, simply recognize it for what it is. It’s an object. The fear is not who you are, you are the one recognizing that you have the fear. If you can look at your fear from a state of mental clarity, you can make the best decision in the moment and the fear will pass. The problem occurs when you let the fear distract you and draw you in. When this happens, you can become totally lost in the fear. It could last a few moments, hours, days and sometimes even years. Once you become lost in the fear, things head down hill quickly. Many times when we are lost thoughts come into our minds that want to get us out of here as quickly as possible. You may start packing your bags, quit your job, or begin verbally abusing someone that happens to be near by. The thing is, any decision made out of fear, without mental clarity isn’t going to be a good decision at all. Most assuredly, you are going to regret any decisions made when you are lost in fear. See fear is okay, if you learn to let it pass, and it will pass. But the moment you don’t, well….then fear isn’t okay anymore.

Letting Go from the Beginning is the Best Way to Stay Okay

So what if you had let the fear/disturbance go right from the beginning? What if no matter what happened, you just turned your eyes upward and relaxed your heart? What if you could stay in that place of mental clarity, staying present in the moment, and just watching your fear or whatever disturbance come and go. You see if you don’t give it your attention, it can’t disrupt your energy, it can’t draw you in. But if you do fall, don’t worry, just get yourself back up and move along as soon as possible. Always, always, try to let go as soon as you’re aware that you’ve gotten drawn in. You’ll undoubtedly have ups and downs along the way, we all do, but this can be a great reminder that whatever is holding you down, fear, jealousy, loneliness, can become the source that eventually raises you up.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff….

Sincerely,

Amy Lopez

Check out the tab above to find my books, “Present Ground” and “Soon Enuff,” as well as free PDF’s on how to live a more present life.

The Power of Acceptance

Explore your Power

As a young woman I often wondered how some did it. How were they just happy most of the time. How did they get over a break up and just move on to the next one with seemingly no emotions? How did they handle the accident that took their loved one and just kept going? How can they be wheel chair bound after being so athletic and still seem so filled with joy? After years of studying this, while I myself struggled with so many life situations, I found the answer is Acceptance.

So I can already hear some of you now….”If I accept a situation then I’m giving up!” Let me start right off with saying that Acceptance of the situation is not the same as giving up. You can accept a situation and still choose to make changes. So throw that notion right out the door 🙂

How can we Harness the Power of Acceptance

So how do we do it? How do we accept things when we simply don’t want to?

Acknowledge, explore, embrace. These three things are key. You see the problem is unless we acknowledge the reality of our life in this moment we can’t accept it, we just keep believing a lie. If we never explore our feelings, and we just push them away every time they come up, then we can never deal with them and leave them in the past. And until we embrace the reality we are in right now, until we fully accept it, we can’t decide what to do about it. You see change comes when you accept things as they are. Once you accept them, you decide what to do with them or about them.

“When was the last time you explored your feelings

instead of pushing them away….” -Amy-

It’s not easy, and it definitely takes some work but the process is truly transformational.

The Transformational Power of Acceptance

I’ve put together a four week course with every day exercises to teach you the Transformational Power of Acceptance.

We’ll learn acceptance in everyday little things: the mundane tasks that you dread, the relationships you’re struggling with, your career, your life path, aging, children. I’ll teach you skills that can apply to every life situation.

I am living proof of the transformation and I can’t wait to work with you through this course! I hope you’ll check it out 🙂

Cause we’re not there, but perhaps together, we’ll get there “Soon Enuff!”

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/602d3a9d54e757e2524dbcdd

Finding your authentic self

Want to find yourself? You’re going to have to get rid of your personal shit.

So it’s the last days of December and almost the end of what some may call the worst year of their lives. But most importantly….it’s a new day, a brand new week, and the start of a whole new year.

The perfect time to let go of your personal shit. Your past pain, memories that cause you to replay unhealthy stories. You see, to find the real you, you’re going to need to shovel the shit off yourself.

Start today! Create your own beautiful experiences, do it your way, in each and every present moment!

You see, I’m not there yet. But like all of you, I hope to be, Soon Enuff.

Live Present,

Amy

I have a new and fun challenge starting for the new year. “How to be a more Present You in 2021.” To join me just click the link below:

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Effects of Stress

Letting go of Stress

I think we all know and understand that the research on stress has shown it to be lethal to our health.  Stress causes hormones to be released , namely adrenaline and cortisol.  When you live in a constant state of stress this can be disastrous to your mind and body. But, this is not the only problem….

Effects of not letting the stressor go

Research is now showing that even years later simply re-living the past stress causes the exact same complications to your body as it did the when the stress initially happened! So for people like me, the over thinkers, we’re literally killing ourselves over and over just by re-playing the scene out, even months and years later.  When we don’t learn to let go, it just doesn’t play mind games with our emotions, it literally is killing you.

Your psychology makes your biology…..it’s true my friends!

You’ll never let go if you keep

allowing your mind to take you back…”

Amy Lopez

This is a tough one for sure, and one that I haven’t mastered, but I continually work on living in the present, it’s the only way to train your mind not to dwell in the past.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps….Soon Enuff

There are 3 days left to purchase my book, Soon Enuff at the Fall Sale Price of $9.99.  It’s available worldwide on Amazon or on my Etsy Shop at https://www.etsy.com/shops/LilBitsofMeandPoetry

 

Adaptability

The Importance of Adaptability

Adaptability can best be described as remaining open to change, able to accept the unknown, freedom from learned responses.

Did you know meeting change with resilience instead of bitterness can actually extend your life?  The world is harsh, however, if you can learn to bend a little instead of being stiff and breaking, if you can learn to enjoy and be happy with whatever comes, it changes your whole biology.  Because you see our psychology actually dictates our biology.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I respond creatively to change?

Am I free from anxiety?

Do I continually create?

Do I continue to learn new things?

Responding creatively to change is when something out of the ordinary comes up, you can look at it and think of positive ways to make it work out.  You don’t freak out and panic, but you embrace it with the attitude of, “Great, something new, how can we make this work to our advantage.”

Free from anxiety.  Anxiety is a psychological response that causes your biology to change.  When you send your body into panic mode all kinds of things start happening.  Your heart rate increases, your blood pressure goes up, causing stress on the heart often leading to coronary events if not treated.  Anxiety can suppress your immune system, cause all kinds of digestive disorders, it can also lead to depression and dementia. All things which make us age.

Continuing to create.  What is it you love?  Are you a writer, if so continue to write.  Artist, fishing, hiking, climbing, you get it.  Stop listening to the learned responses such as, “I’m getting older, I probably shouldn’t hike that far,” or “Climbing is too dangerous for a person my age,” or “No one wants to read something an older person is writing,” or “I can’t bounce back like I used to,” and instead you just keep living, guess what, you keep living.

Have you ever seen 80 year olds still out hiking?  I have! A couple summers ago we were hiking a 2,000 foot incline in only 2 miles at Crater Lake.  It was very difficult for me despite the fact I’d been hiking for several years.  Much to my surprise a very elderly couple blew past me.  When I got to the top they smiled and we started a conversation.  I asked how old they were, the wife was 79 and the husband 83!  Do you think they listened to the voices saying, “You probably should stop doing that you’re too old?”  Absolutely not!  They had been avid explorers their whole lives and just never thought to slow down, and guess what, their bodies never gave them a reason to, because their psychology controlled their biology.

Continuing to learn new things can be easy as reading new books, taking a different route, playing games, traveling to new places, learning about the weather where your kids live.  The idea here is you never stop using your brain.  You don’t sit sedentary in front of your TV mindlessly watching the same things day in and day out.  By learning new things you allow the brain to compensate for natural tissue loss.  Learning new things stimulates the neurons in the brain which form new neuron pathways and allows electrical impulses to travel faster.

Can you learn to Adapt

“Perhaps you need to learn to let go of the notion

that things could have been different..

they weren’t.”

–Amy Lopez–

I, like many others have suffered with anxiety.  I used to really panic when my plan didn’t work out.  When faced with the prospect of a new change, I would typically revert back to the comfort of just staying complacent.  Change is scary, especially when it’s not expected.  The loss of a job, a spouse leaving, a loved one dying, a flood, a hurricane, tornado, etc.  These things all happen.  But how can we learn to adapt instead of stress?

A little stress is obviously natural in any of the above circumstances.  It’s when the stress doesn’t go away that we’re in trouble.

Things I’ve found that have relieved my anxiety and allowed me to live a happier healthier life are:  meditation, exercise, a healthy diet, sleep, and therapy.

When you take a little time to sit quietly with yourself you can go over things that are happening and how you’ll handle them, before they happen.  You know you’re about to face an ugly day at the lawyers office, or you have to clean up after a natural disaster, etc.  When you breath deeply especially sighing out the negativity you’ll find it’s much easier to face.  You know you have to face it, why not face it the best way possible.  Go in with a smile, let’s get this done, how can we make something positive out of it.

Daily exercise has been proven to relieve stress, it relieves tension, improves sleep and elevates your mood and self esteem.  Combine this with eating a healthy diet, stay away from unnatural foods, and you’ll improve not only your physical body but your mental one as well.

I’m one of those people that struggles to get 8-9 hours of sleep.  However, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic with around 7.  I do rest during the day, usually napping for about 20-30 minutes.  I have found that when I eat lighter at night, usually I don’t eat past 4:00 unless it’s a handful of nuts or a little fruit, I sleep much better.  If you struggle with sleep, try black out curtains, ear plugs, or an app that plays sleepy time noise such as the ocean waves or water trickling.  Getting adequate sleep re-charges your brain, improving your focus, concentration and mood.  Getting adequate sleep alone can reduce stress and anxiety.  If you still struggle, seek help from a therapist.

I’m a Certified Life Coach and as a Life Coach I can tell you that talking to someone about your stress and anxiety can literally save your life.  I have a great Coach that has helped me figure out ways to change my life to make it less stressful, and also just laughed with me through some very tough situations.  If you need someone to talk to seek out a therapist or life coach or even just a sister, brother, friend that will understand and hold your confidence.

You know aging is a natural process, but it literally takes the organs around 103 years to start breaking down naturally.  That means that everything else isn’t natural.  Try to remember that the oldest and healthiest living people say these three words a lot: Happy, Satisfied and Enjoyable.  Because our psychology dictates our biology.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff.

You can find me on FB @lilbitsofme22  IG @lilbitsofme22 Twitter @amylo_5

You can also reach me by email if you’d like to discuss any of the topics from this blog

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