She’s no magician….

None of us are magicians….

My very dear friend, Alfa Holden, wrote this:  “The problem with love is, you can love who you want…but so can they.”

You know you can knock yourself out being the most beautiful, funny, caring, and loving person on the planet, and you still may not be the one for the person you love.  I think it’s so important to grasp this concept early so that we realize there is nothing wrong with us, it’s just how life is.  How many times did a boy/girl have a crush on you or actually fall in love with you and yet you had no feelings whatsoever for them? It happens.  But when it happens to us we tend to take it a lot more personally.

Magic Potion

When we fall in love with someone we go all in and it hurts like hell when it’s not reciprocated.  But there’s no magic potion here.  You can’t drop something in their water that makes them magically fall in love with you no matter how hard you try or how much you want it.  In fact, often times, the harder you try to force something, the worse the whole situation becomes.  I don’t think the other person even means to hurt us, perhaps they really want to love us back, but just as you cannot help your feelings, neither can they.  It may not be that they’re in love with someone else, it’s just simply that they don’t share the same feelings you do, they aren’t in love with you.

So what’s the magic trick

So how do you get through this type of heartache?  I truly believe that if you love yourself, if you know your worth, if you know you’re a beautiful soul, then you can get through it.  You can slowly start to understand that it’s not you, you’re an amazing person, you just aren’t the one for them, and you have to let that heal you.  The magic trick is really believing in yourself while letting the person go.  It doesn’t mean your love ends, it just means you are moving on.  Don’t stay in a relationship that you have to force, it will only hurt you and it will hurt the very one you say you love.  You must believe with all your beautiful soul that love will one day be returned and the relationship will indeed be magical.

A little poem I wrote: “I hoped that somehow out of all the brokenness something good could come.  That perhaps the heartache we caused could be undone.  But you can’t keep pretending to look forward to something you dread, you’re no magician, you can’t bring life back to love that’s already dead.” @AmyLopez @LilBitsofMe22

magician

 

Magic Book

I truly wish I could write a book titled,  “Magic Tricks for Love.” In fact, I’m fairly certain that if you searched social media or google long enough, you’d most likely stumble upon that very book written by someone trying to take advantage of heart broken souls. However, it would be a big book of magical lies because there is no magic book and there are no magic tricks. Remember, believing in yourself, that’s all the magic you need!

Peace, love & happiness I wish for you!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….

Amy

You can follow my very dear friend, who is a wonderful writer and author of three Best Selling books, @alfapoet.com and on social media: FB: @AlfaHolden  IG: @alfa.poet Twitter: @alfa_poet

 

Love or Lust, or is it?

Good morning, hope you take this Tuesday and make it beautiful…

So here’s my morning poem, and also my thoughts on the matter of Love or Lust…

“Why do they say, “you’re in lust, not love?” Why is it fantasy and dreaming versus reality and life?  I’m not sure about the type of love others are in, or their opinions on the subject, but I can tell you that the one I long for, the person I crave the most, the one I fantasize about during the day and dream about at night, the one I lust after, is also the one I love.  Why would you ever settle for anyone that doesn’t make you feel all of the above?”

Ever really thought about it?  Why does love tend to get boring after years?  Why do we start to take the ones we love for granted, not look at them with the same lust in our eyes as when we first met?  I believe it’s because we get in a rut.  Often on the part of both partners, we get complacent.  We stop worrying so much about how we look for them.  When we first met, we would dress up, make sure hair and make up looked good, probably worked out to be in tip top shape for them.  We had sex all the time, cause it was exciting and new.  And then, we let the days turn into years, life gets complacent, we think everything’s fine, we stop trying to impress the ones we love.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we have to impress at all times, I’m just saying if you want to keep some spice in your love life, remember what it was like when you first met.  Dress up and do your hair and make up, especially on occasion.  Buy a sexy nighty, buy some candles, reserve a hotel. Why not keep life fun and keep love interesting and romantic, sexy and you know what, those fantasies you have? Make them a reality….

I know life can get tough, things get in the way, we’re tired, overworked, stressed.  If you still have young kids I know you’re frazzled, sometimes the last thing you want at night is someone else grabbing at you, ha. Believe, me I was there at one stage in my life.  But from experience, looking back now, I wish someone would have told me how important it is to keep the sex life alive in your love life.  Sometimes you just need to breath, relax, let your partner know you’re tired, but that you do want to be with them, let them take the reigns, and let yourself be mindful of just the moment your in.  Don’t think about the day or what you have to do tomorrow, just think about how it feels to be being loved at that moment, your body needs it, your mind needs it, and believe me your partner needs it as well.  I honestly believe our sex lives are just as important as eating right and exercising, it’s all part of a healthy well rounded life.

Love & peace!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff…..

Dreams or Reality….

Good Morning!

I hope this beautiful Saturday finds you well and excited for a new day!

I want to touch base today on reality and dreams.  I’ve struggled with it myself, and would love to hear how you’ve dealt with similar situations.

Have you ever had a dream that touched your reality for just a very short time in your life?  But it was so profound that it has become an obsession.  You continue chasing that feeling you had by that touch.  Maybe it was love or lust or happiness or some other emotion that really hit home with you.  However, the moment was fleeting, and now you have to face the reality that the moment is passed.  How do you do that?  How do you face that reality?

Well, most of us actually don’t face it.  We may seem like we do, but in reality, we just busy ourselves with more things.  It may be work, texting, or calling, anyone and everyone, just to keep our mind off the fact that we need to move on.  We don’t physically want to move on, we want to feel those feelings again so we put off the fact that we aren’t going to feel that way again.  Not that we’ll never feel good again, just not that particular feeling.

So today, I challenge you, and myself, just for today, not promising tomorrow, let yourself feel.  Let yourself grieve, be sad, be upset, whatever emotion it is, let yourself feel it.  Understand that you deserve to feel it, it happened to you, it’s ok to feel the things you’re feeling, it doesn’t make you a failure.  I’m not saying to “waller in misery.”  But unless you let yourself go through it, painful as it may be, you’re never going to get over it, and you’re never going to face reality, you’re going to continue to live a dream life, one that’s made up in your head, and that’s not good for your mind, soul, or body.

Then tonight, when you close your eyes, tell yourself your’e okay, that you made it through the day and tomorrow will be a new day that you’ll also make it through.  One day at a time, step by step, letting yourself feel whatever it is, just be present in your own life, but make sure it’s real….

See ya’ll on Monday!!

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, Soon Enuff….