Epigenetics

Huh? Epigenetics, what’s that even mean!

That was my exact thought when I first heard the word epigenetic in my Functional Nutrition courses. I was literally mind blown to learn that Epigenetics is the study of how our behaviors, environment and life choices can alter the way our genes work. Maybe read that line again! Yes you can alter your genes with your thoughts and with what you choose to put at the end of your fork! While epigenetics are reversible and can’t change your DNA sequence, they can change how your body reads the DNA sequence. A little scientific I know, but I’ll try to put it in terms that helped me understand it better.

Our genes only have 5% to do with determing our risk of developing a particular disease. That means 95% has to do with our behaviors, environments and lifestyle choices. That doesn’t mean that if you do develop a disease it’s 95% your fault. A lot of people cannot control their environment. It does mean that we can greatly influence our genes with what we choose to put in our mouths and our outlook on life. So when I hear people say things like, “My whole family is obese so I am obese,” doesn’t fly. Or my mother and grandfather died of heart disease so I probably will too. Here’s the thing….if you know you have these traits in your family, whether that be heart disease, cancer, diabetes, Alzheimers, ADHD, MS, Parkinson’s, the list goes on and on, then you actually have the upper hand. You know you can alter your genes with the your life choices. Epigenetics can turn a gene on or off. If you have heart disease in your family, you can choose to exercise, eat well, live as stress free as possible and keep your waist line down. By choosing this way of life, you can alter that gene in a positive way. If you choose to ignore the fact that your family has a history of diabetes, and you eat a highly processed diet, a lot of sugar and carbohydrates, live a stressful life, then your epigenetic will be influenced in a negative way and you may very likely turn that gene on.

Epigenetics and Pregnancy

One of the most awesome things a mom to be can do for her unborn child is change their behavior before they become pregnant. You see a mother’s food choices, such as eating a healthy diet, avoiding too much sugar, and living as stress free as possible can actually change the unborn Childs epigenetics. Your baby doesn’t have a choice is in this, it’s up to you to impact it’s genes in a positive or negative way. These changes to your babies epigenetic can impact the child for decades and may make your child more likely to get certain diseases.

Epigenetics and Aging

I have been literally so excited to learn that aging doesn’t have to be a terrible thing. We’ve been conditioned to believe that menopause for women and aging in general for men and women is awful. We’ve been told menopause is terrible and all the symptoms that go with it are just the way it is. Men have been conditioned to believe that as they age they’ll lose some of their libido, their bellies will just naturally get bigger, and our mental prowess will begin to decline. But it’s totally not true! We can absolutely impact aging with our behaviors, life choices, and amount of stress we allow in our lives. I’ve personally experienced how changing my diet and lifestyle habits has impacted my moods. How choosing the right foods and supplements has changed peri-menopause symptoms. Of course, it’s not all fun, and I’ve had a few symptoms that were challenging, but it’s definitely not the normal symptoms that I’ve been conditioned to believe were going to happen!

Ultimately, it’s up to you. You play the most crucial part in how your life plays out. I’d love to help you with getting on the right track! If you’re interested in working one on one with me to learn the best choices for your particular health and mental needs, let me know by setting up an appointment below. Health isn’t black and white and neither should your healthcare be. Everyone has different needs and conventional medicine doesn’t address those, but I will!

Cause we’re not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff…..

Sincerely,

Amy Lopez, FNC

To set up an appointment with me click the link below:

https://calendly.com/grounded-inthe-present/the-powerful-fork-client-intake?month=2021-10

Let’s talk Diverticulitis

What is Diverticulitis

Let’s start at the beginning. Diverticulitis isn’t something sexy or fun to discuss, but unfortunately, thanks to our SAD (standard American diet) 30% of people ages 50-59 and 70-80% over age 60 will be told they have diverticulosis. I suspect that 30% to be much higher than reported.

So what is diverticulosis? Diverticulosis is a small pouch similar to a bulging wall that are present in the digestive tract and are usually discovered during a routine colonoscopy. There are no symptoms unless they become inflamed.

Diverticulitis is what occurs when one or more of these pouches becomes inflamed or infected. 5% of people with diverticulosis will get diverticulitis.

My own health battle with Diverticulitis

Back in March of 2015 I was watching a movie in bed when my left side and lower abdomen, right around my pelvis bone started to really hurt. Within 30 minutes I was throwing up from the pain, but since I had always struggled with what I thought were gall bladder issues, I chalked it up to just something I had eaten. After an hour I had turned pale and grayish colored and could not stop throwing up nor could I get off the toilet though nothing was coming out. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve had 5 children. My husband finally talked me into going to the ER. When I arrived they agreed at first, it must be my gall bladder, and I distinctly remember being made to feel guilty for eating something that must have been bad for it. I was given morphine and blood was drawn. When they came back with my blood count they knew there was a problem. I was told they would need to do exploratory surgery, that it was most likely an ulcer that had ruptured and that the scar would be very small down towards my pelvis. I was wisked off in a matter of minutes, extremely scared and extremely unaware of what was about to happen.

Unknown to me, they came out a few minutes later and had to get permission from my husband for what they were about to do. I had over a foot of my intestines removed due to diverticulitis rupture and they were going to need to do a colostomy. I woke up with a tube down my nose, 58 staples from just under my breast bone down to my pelvis, and a colostomy bag. I was just 45 years old.

I remember hearing my mom and husband saying, “She’s going to be devastated.” I had no idea what had happened to me. I was extremely sick and had almost died. When I was finally awake enough to realize it, she was right, I was completely devastated. How could this have happened? I was young, in shape, and had never even heard the word diverticulitis before. I was in the hospital for 10 days. The surgeon told me if all healed well, we could reverse the colostomy bag after 6 months.

It was the worst summer of my life. If you don’t know what a colostomy bag is, it is basically taking the place of your colon and rectum. If you have gas, you hear it loud and clear because it’s coming out of the bag on your stomach instead of down below. If you have to go number 2, it’s right there filling up a bag hooked to your stomach. Want to have sex, there it is, right there on your stomach. So I went into deep depression. I wanted no help, I wanted no one to see this thing, and I had a huge scar on my stomach that just added to the humiliation I was feeling. Looking back now, I think the humiliation came more from no one, and I mean no one, talking to me about what had happened. What had caused this diverticulitis and why had it ruptured and almost killed me.

We did the reversal of the bag in Sept. of that same year. Another 5 days in the hospital. Another incision where the bag was removed, and they had to open up the same scar and do another 60 staples this time. I had also had a lot of pain in my tail bone area and when they did the surgery they discovered one of the staples had adhered to my skin thus the tugging I kept feeling. They also decided during this surgery to go ahead and remove my gall bladder.

Again, I was never talked to about what had caused any of this. When I asked the surgeon if there was anything I needed to be careful of he said, “Some people say not to eat nuts and seeds.” That’s it? Don’t eat nuts and seeds?! Funny thing is, another attending physican said the opposite, “You really don’t need to worry about what you eat. Nuts and seeds are fine.” When I asked at my follow up visit another Dr. said it was highly unusual for someone my age to have this happen. He asked if I knew I had diverticulitis, because had I known it could have been treated with antibiotics and over the counter meds. No, I had no idea that I had diverticulitis. I had been telling my primary care physician for years that I had stomach pain all the time. No matter what I ate. It was all related to my gall bladder she had told me. I was never offered a colonoscopy or ultra sound.

Needless to say, I felt puzzled, I felt overwhelmed, and my life had changed drastically. I have been a gymnastics coach and owner for years and now I found myself unable to do my job. The two back to back incisions, one going laterally and one horizontally, had a done a number on my abdominal muscles and I could no lift the way that I once had. I was also still having stomach trouble.

Two years later, I had just finished lunch with my mother when I had terrible stomach pain. I turned white as a ghost, it felt exactly the same as before. After trying to calm it for 3 or 4 hours I was finally forced to go back to the ER. Because of my history, they immediately did a CT Scan with contrast and discovered I had a small bowel obstruction and would need immediate surgery. Turns out, adhesions from the first two surgeries had formed a knot around my small intestine. I was assured this was a “fluke” and was nothing to worry about as it would most likely never happen again. Another 5 days in the hospital, and you guessed it, the exact same incision with 50 some staples in the exact same part of my stomach. All the work on my abs over the past two years was thrown out the window.

Three years later I was having so much pain, but this time on my right side that my surgeon finally agreed to do an ultrasound with contrast. It turned out this time, I had an ovarian cyst that was 10cm in size. I was scheduled for surgery. To be on the safe side, the gynecologist performing the ovarian cyst surgery wanted to have my gastro surgeon there in case she ran into scar tissue. Sure enough, the adhesions from my previous surgeries had grabbed a hold of a layer of my stomach lining called the, Serosa, and pulled it over to one side. The cyst was taken care of, but the adhesion removal was quite painful. It was done laparoscopically this time, so instead of one big scar I now had 5 more little scars. My stomach at this point looks similar to something from Dr. Jekly and Mr. Hyde. And now, my biggest fear is adhesions, as they have caused the last two surgeries. I have been told there is nothing I can do about them, and you can’t see them under MRI or CT Scans, so it’s nothing we can even continue to check for.

It’s been a little over a year now, and so far so good, but I am in constant awareness of anything with my insides, I don’t think it’s a worry that will ever go away. I know my story was an Acute case and a situation that doesn’t happen too often, but it can happen, especially if we don’t know the reasoning. The reason I’ve gone into such depth with my story is because it’s what has driven me into Functional Nutrition. You see, I was never given any direction. Never told what possibly caused this. Never told that I should change my eating habits or lifestyle. Instead I felt that this was something just wrong with me, something I had done or created that caused it. I was literally disfigured and it was all preventable…..

Through my studies in Functional Nutrition I discovered the role that our diets play in diverticulitis, and in fact, in every aspect of our bodies and brains. I never knew that eating a diet high in sugar, processed foods, soda, etc. was destroying my gut and at the same time making me feel depressed and fatigued. I didn’t know that by not eating enough fiber I was wreaking havoc on my intestines and colon. I didn’t know that taking Advil and ibuprofen was just adding to the inflammation in my body. And sadly even after all the surgeries, no one discussed any of these things with me.

I recently drove my 70 year old mother to her colonoscopy where she was told she had a little diverticulitis but that it was nothing for her to worry about, “everyone at her age has it.” I asked, because now I know better, “Is there any special diet she should follow or things she should change?” And of course the answer from her surgeon was, “Nope. Totally normal, nothing to worry about.” The same thing happened this year with my own husband, who is 60. “Colon looks great. He does have a small area of diverticulosis.” I asked, again, because now I know, “Anything we can do to prevent it from getting worse?” And again, the same answer, “Nope, totally normal, nothing to worry about.”

Here’s the thing…..It’s not normal, and it is something to think about. I say think, instead of worry because it turns out that stress does in fact have a lot to do with our gut, which I’ll also call our microbiome. You see, by making just a few small changes to our diet and lifestyle we could save ourselves from devastating health consequences. But, as I’ve discovered first hand, you’ll need to be looking outside of conventional medicine for help.

This is why I decided to become a Functional Nutrition Coach. It’s so important to me that people understand they don’t have to get sick. You don’t have to wait until you have a disease to then try and find a drug to help you. You don’t have to be a statistic due to our SAD diet. It can all be prevented by some life style changes and by what you put at the end of your fork.

My program is called, “The Powerful Fork,” and if you’d like help learning how to become more healthy, happy, and have not just a longer lifespan but a greater health span, I’d love to help you. Just click the link below and I’ll be in touch 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/61658fbf9a36b29c176a3a45

Sincerely, Amy, FNC

Cause we’re not there yet, but perhaps, together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff.

You Choose

Your Choices

Did you know you can halt the disease process by learning to control your thoughts, or should I say by not allowing your thoughts to control you.

When you allow your thoughts to linger in the past, your brain doesn’t recognize that it’s the past, it thinks it’s right now and affects every part of your body. It sends messages through the vagus nerve to your gut and that gets your stomach all upset and in knots, causing all sorts of gut trouble, including inflammation. An inflamed gut wreaks havoc. You know that feel good hormone, Seratonin, well, guess what, that comes from your gut, and an inflamed gut blocks the production of serotonin.

The by product of your choices

Now that your thoughts have gotten you all upset the ball is in motion. Now your thoughts are sending messages to your brain that it is stressed and your body starts producing cortisol because it wants to rescue you from this stress. And remember your gut is lowering the production of serotonin already. This release of cortisol causes you to crave sugary, salty foods, which, if you give in, cause you to feel even worse. This can be a vicious cycle, especially if your thoughts are in control of you day in and day out. It can really impact your health regardless of how well you may be trying to eat.

“Only you choose, every day, every hour, how your life will play out. You have more control over developing disease than the genes you were born with. Choose well.” Dr. Mary Hyman

So what to do…..

What I practice doing when thoughts of a past trauma start to creep in is sit with the thoughts from the place of a third party. Reminding myself that I am no longer experiencing the trauma, the trauma has passed. I don’t necessarily try to ignore it, instead I try to love myself through it. Deep breathing has drastically helped me. I find that I can free my mind of most thoughts by concentrating on my breath. Inhaling through my nose to a count of 4, holding that breath for a count of 2, then sighing it deeply out of my mouth to a count of 6. I only practice this for a few moments, then I get up and move. I have found that moving, whether that is doing yoga, going for a walk, a run, a bike ride, or simply walking around in my yard just looking at nature brings me back to the present moment.

Stay Present

I’d be misleading you if I didn’t also tell you that you need to practice staying present. Any time I feel my thoughts starting to take over, you know, that rambling voice in my head gets on a roll, I bring myself back to a state of aware presence. Reminding myself that I am here in this space, wherever it is, right now. Reminding myself that I am the observer of my thoughts, my thoughts are not who I am. Usually bringing some silence, even if it’s noisy around me, helps me focus on the present moment.

Cause you know what, we may not be there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff.

The Powerful Fork

Amy Lopez, FNC

I AM

“I am the way, the truth, the life.” Know who said that? Correct, his name was Jesus. He also said, “All things I do and greater things you will also do.” You see, Jesus is the personification of pure consciousness. I Am, is the way, the truth, the life.

I AM more than the person

If you only know yourself as the person: the mother, the wife, the daughter, the school teacher, the nurse, the doctor, the girlfriend, the sister, etc. then you are disillusioned. What happens when you are no longer the mother? Your child passes, or they simply grow up and don’t need you in the same way? What happens if your spouse passes or leaves you? What happens when your parents pass away and you are no longer the daughter? What happens when you lose your job and are no longer the Dr., teacher, nurse? What should happen is a grieving period but you are never lost. Because who you are, your true essence isn’t tied to any of those things. You are still you, you are still present. Your true essence is The I AM. All these other titles emerge from that. You are pure consciousness. Only when you know your essence identity can you fulfill your true purpose.

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly, it already is the butterfly. The butterfly emerges from the caterpillar.

A deeper sense of purpose

We can all align ourselves with the deeper purpose of the universe. It’s not a religion, it’s a realization. When you learn to stay present in each moment, it’s the most freeing feeling. I like to think of my, I Am, as a beautiful mystical figure that sits in the center of my chest, my soul. This is where it watches all that is going on around me and in me. I see the thoughts and I let them go. I watch conflicts arise and can choose my reactions from a place of consciousness instead of reacting unconsciously. I watch the wife emerge from me as I take care of my husband and home. I smile as the mother emerges and sends my grown children funny or inspirational messages. I delight as the coach emerges from me and teaches others around me. But I don’t attach myself to these things. I know at some point they will all be gone. And I know that what will remain is me, I am.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps, together, we’ll get there “Soon Enuff.”

Sincerely,

Amy

If you’d like to read more inspirational quotes that help inspire you to live a more present life, my book, “Present Ground” is on sale this month. You can find it by clicking on the above tab or worldwide on Amazon!

Thinking Backwards

“It’s something that I thought I’d never say, but today,

I think I’m going to think backwards.” –Amy Lopez–

A backwards day

When I wake up in the morning I always enjoy a few minutes of silence while looking out the window, or if the weather is nice, I sit outside, getting some much needed morning light on my face. I am very present and try not to let my thoughts about all the things I need to get done today take over my mind. But recently I thought I’d experiment with something new.

Instead of thinking about what I needed to get done first, I thought about how I want to feel when I climb back into my comfy bed tonight at the end of the day. I want to feel satisfied and happy with all the choices I make today. I want to feel at peace and worry free. And then I went backwards.

Backwise Planning

I’ll give you an example of what I like to call “backwise planning.” Around 10:00pm I slip into my comfy pj’s and do a little night time yoga. A nice stretch for my hips and back. At 9:00pm I turn my phone to “Do Not Disturb” and stay off social media and email. At 8:30 I cozy up on the couch and watch a program on tv. At 8:00 I start to dim the lights around the house. At 7:30 as soon as I get home from work, I wash my face and have a nice cup of decaffeinated bedtime chai. Between 3-7pm while I’m at work I have so much fun with the kids at the gym. I react to the parents coming into my facility with gratitude and am present with each person speaking to me. Between 10am and 2pm I enjoy my day. A nice workout to get my cardio up then yoga to calm down and relax. I eat good and choose only the foods that I know are going to be healthy for me. All my interactions are conscious ones. I don’t open my mouth without thinking first. Between 8am-10am I enjoy my morning coffee/tea and reading/writing. I do a short meditation and some breathwork. I sit outside for at least 10 minutes, weather permitting, if not I look out the window at the beautiful morning I’ve been given.

You see, if you have a goal in mind, it makes it much easier to stay in that mindset all day. Basically, you are present in each moment. When things start to get stressful with your kids or at your job, think about your goal of feeling at peace and then make your reactions conscious ones. That’s ultimately the only way to go to bed at night happy and satisfied with the choices you made, with the reactions you had to outside circumstances. It’s the only way to peace.

I recently read a book and highly recommend it, “Active Hope,” by Joanna Macey & Chris Johnstone. In one section Joanna talks about thinking about what your preferred future looks like in say, 30 years. Then starting there in the future and working backwards to help you see how to get there. And it made me wonder why this same concept wouldn’t work daily, and well, it does work! I hope this idea helps you too!

If you’d like more ideas on how to live a more present life, check out my course “10 Days to a More Present You.” It’s available by clicking the tab Course Library.

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there Soon Enuff…

Amy

If you’re interested, here is the link to the book, Active Hope. https://www.activehope.info/

The Journey

Journey Alone

I hope no one ever promised you it would be easy….you see, the most important journey, my love, is done alone.

Phases of the Journey

You’ll go through phases of sadness when you realize things should have been different. You’ll struggle with some realities you never knew before. You’ll uncover secrets that you’ll wish would have stay buried. But in the end, the journey to finding who you truly are, well, that starts right now.

The real journey is always right now

Regardless of your past, regardless how you were raised, regardless of previous relationships….right here, right now in this moment is where you decide your next step, you decide what your story will be today. So do the necessary work to let go of the past, to use what you learn as possible lessons moving forward, but don’t dwell there. Tell your mind to move along. Experience the sadness, even the happiness of past memories and then leave them where they belong…..

Cause I’m not there yet, but perhaps together, we’ll get there, Soon Enuff.

“The most important journey, my love, is done alone.”

-Amy Lopez-

Get Still

Get still & set an intention

It’s a new day and a brand new beautiful week. Can you take just a few moments for yourself? A little quiet time in meditation.

When we float through our days and weeks with no clear purpose it makes it easy to get lost in our thoughts. It’s so important to take a few moments for yourself every morning, but especially at the beginning of the week.

“Still Time”

You are the most important person in your life. You deserve some “still time.” Get still, write down what your intention for what you want to happen this week is. Then each day, think about that intention. It makes it so much easier to stick to something when you’ve written it down. When you recognize the importance of setting intentions, of making manifestations, and affirmations. You owe it to yourself, to your spouse, lover, friends, family, etc. To be your best you, you’ve got to invest in yourself.

Cause we’re not there yet, bur perhaps together, we’ll get there…...Soon Enuff!

Hey guys, I just uploaded a brand new course in the Course Library! It’s a 4 week course on the Transformational Power of Acceptance. Click the tab above for more information!

Life’s not Static

Life isn’t static and neither are your life choices

So many struggle with feeling like they’re out of place or that they’re not doing what they are supposed to be doing. This happens to us all at some point. It happens to those that have spent years and years in college or years and years in training to be in a profession that at one point they felt called to be in. And guess what…..it’s totally normal!

Life is in constant motion. Everyday brings about change. So why would we ever think our Life Purpose wouldn’t change? Now it may be that your Life Purpose is similar, maybe you’ve always felt called to “Help others.” And perhaps you began as a therapist, but now you’re feeling called to quit the job force and write self help books. Maybe you were a Doctor in a prestigious hospital but now you feel called to travel to foreign countries and give your services for free. The list is endless. The point is, sometimes we need to say goodbye to callings too.

Your life purpose doesn’t necessarily stay the same.

There can be goodbyes to callings too.” -Amy Lopez-

Follow your dreams

It’s okay to say goodbye to what you thought would be your life long purpose. It’s okay to start new. And it’s okay if you start new many many times. I think it’s important to listen to your intuition, to meditate on what is calling you and then to pursue your passions with everything you’ve got in you.

After all, life is meant to be lived out loud, to be lived in the present moment. And in the present moment we can’t see into the future. All we can do is what we feel called to do right now, maybe that changes tomorrow and maybe it doesn’t.

If you’d like help with discovering your life purpose in this moment schedule an appointment with me, I’d be glad to discuss with you 🙂

Cause we’re not there yet, but perhaps together we will be, Soon Enuff…..

https://linktr.ee/amylopez

Are you Settling because you think you don’t deserve more…..

Settling or Accepting

Okay, let’s not get things twisted…..settling is not the same as accepting. When you accept a life situation for what it is, it doesn’t mean you’re being passive, or weak, or giving up and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re settling. Actually, it’s the opposite. You see when you’re aware of something and you acknowledge it and accept it for what it is, only then can you decide if a change needs to be made or not. After all, how can you change something or heal from something that you’re in denial of? Something that you don’t acknowledge can’t be let go of or healed from.

If you’re simply resigning yourself to be miserable or you’re settling on something or someone just to make everyone else happy, or not to, “Rock the boat,” then you are essentially telling yourself, “I am not deserving of anything better.” But here’s the thing, you are deserving, we all are! We all deserve happiness, joy, and to live a fulfilling life.

AAA

Who do you call when you are broken down on the side of the road? Many of us call Triple A. It’s a great service if you’re stranded with no other options. So what do you do in your personal life when you have an internal disturbance? When you feel a resistance to something? When you’re struggling to forgive, either yourself or another. We can use the same concept, AAA for ourselves:

Aware: You become aware of the resistance/disturbance in your life

Acknowledge: You acknowledge the disturbance or resistance in your life

Accept: You accept it for what it is

This is a lifelong practice but I’m living proof that it is truly transformational when you put AAA into practice.

I have a brand new four week course for exactly this practice. It’s called “The Transformational Power of Acceptance.” It’s a 4 part pre recorded video sequence. You’ll receive the videos to watch at your own leisure plus you’ll have them for a lifetime. You’ll also have access to a private Facebook Group that is only for the participants of this course to engage with each other or ask questions of me. You’ll also receive a 30 minute private zoom conference with me as well as a 30 minute group meeting with all the participants in this course. If you’re interested in learning how to let go, how to heal from the past, how to live a more authentic and healthy you inside and out, then join me for this transformational course. The link is below if you’re interested!

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps together, we’ll get there, “Soon Enuff.”

https://view.flodesk.com/emails/6033ebd4b05f940e23925ea2

Live Present,

Amy

Self Sabotage

Are you sabotaging your own happiness….

“If there’s one thing I know to be true it’s that we will sabotage our own happiness until we heal and realize we are worth loving….” -Amy Lopez-

Ways we Sabotage…..

Have you ever found yourself floating along blissfully in life? Relationships, work, family, income, everything is going great. Then suddenly, it’s like this little flash goes off in your head and a voice whispers, barely even audible, “This all can’t be happening, you know you don’t deserve this….” and then you start to believe that little voice. You start to get anxious, maybe depressed, and before you know it that voice is telling you, “Let’s fuck it up like we always do.”

Now this voice is probably in your sub-conscious, you don’t actually hear it, and you don’t even know that you are unintentionally starting to fuck things up. Maybe you start getting more argumentative for no reason, just because, well, drama feels more normal to you. Or maybe you start getting ideas of hanging out with people you know are trouble for you. You know, just to cause some unnecessary chaos in your life. Maybe you start talking to someone from your past. You know, because well, your partner hasn’t been paying enough attention to you, so you kind of want to fuck that relationship up too. While all this is a little funny to read, it’s actually really what happens!

One of the worst parts about this cycle is that we don’t just hurt ourselves and sabotage our own happiness, we hurt and sabotage the lives and happiness of those that love us. They are like the innocent by standers in a long drawn out horror film. But why do we do this? Why do we self sabotage? What causes this behavior and how can we stop it before it starts next time?

Answers to Self Sabotage

Self sabotage is caused by self worth, or should I say, lack of it. When we don’t love ourselves, our minds just can’t comprehend that things can be good for too long. When we have past trauma that we haven’t healed from, we continue to carry it into every aspect of our lives. Our relationships, romantic or work related, family, friends, it’s all going to suffer because our minds can’t distinguish the past from the present. We think it’s happened to us so many times, that’s it’s just how life is, it’s not going to change. We don’t realize that essentially we are the ones continuing the cycle. It’s us that refuses to change. You see our ego is so identified with this Victim mentality that it thinks it’s who we are. We are the victim. Our victim ego needs to be fed. So when things are going great, our victim ego is starving. Hungry for drama, for stress, for anxiety. And since life isn’t providing it ample food, our own minds start devise a way to sabotage, to feed our victim mentality. But there is a way out!!

Self help for Sabotage

There is a way out of this of course. Once you realize you have a problem, you’re half way there. Once you realize that you need to deal with some past trauma and that it’s actually your Victim Ego causing you to self sabotage you can change it. The best way….starve that ego. Once you start to give no attention to something it slowly starts to disappear until one day it is gone forever. This will take time and perseverance. It starts with recognizing that you are the problem. It’s the way you’re choosing to respond to life. Life is giving amazing things, showing you love, giving you beautiful gifts, but how are you responding?

Start a gratitude journal. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes the very act of writing down what you’re grateful for, like actually seeing it in black and white right in front of you makes you realize it’s all real. I do this every single morning.

Write some affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements used to replace negative thinking. “I am a loving person and I am loved in return.” “I understand my need to feel loved and protected and so I show that love and protection to those in my life.” You get the idea……

Stay Present. This may be the number one rule of my life, and I hope yours as well. By staying in the present moment we begin to realize the past has no bearing on us any longer. All the trauma from the past is past. We don’t have to let it continue to ruin our futures. Our life is always only right now, in this very moment. And in this very moment you are okay, you are loved, you are beautiful, and most important, you are worthy.

The thing is, until you heal and realize you’re worth loving you literally can’t continue to show love to anyone else. You’re going to continue self sabotaging your own happiness and that happiness of those around you. Start today.

If you’d like help in this area, I’m here for you. You could schedule a short coffee break with me or a longer session. The link to scheduling is listed below….

https://linktr.ee/amylopez/

Cause we’re not there yet….but perhaps, “Soon Enuff.”

Live Present,

Amy

Did you know I have a brand new free course available on Manifestations/Affirmations. What they are and how and when to use them. Check it out before it’s gone 🙂

https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6012bf65e091160e5bd0b26c